Quotes

Cyril: Hey! Are you really gonna shave your legs?

Dave: Certo! All the Italians do it.

Mike: Ah. Some country. The women don't shave theirs.

Dad: God-damned see-thru coffee!

Mom: He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bicycle.

Dad: Yeah... well... now his body's fine, but his mind is gone.

Dave: Buon giorno, papa!

Dad: I'm not "papa." I'm your god-damned father.

Mike: They're gonna keep callin' us "cutters." To them, it's just a dirty word. To me, it's just somethin' else I never got a chance to be.

Dad: What is this?

Mom: It's sauteed zucchini.

Dad: It's I-tey food. I don't want no I-tey food.

Mom: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash.

Dad: I know I-tey food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French fries!

Mom: [to the cat, who has jumped up onto the table] Oh, get off the table, Fellini!

Dad: Hey, that's *my* cat! His name's not Fellini, it's Jake! I won't have any "eenie" in this house!

[to the cat]

Dad: Your name's Jake, you hear?

Cyril: I was sure I was going to get that scholarship. My dad of course was sure I wasn't. When I didn't, he was real understanding, you know. He loves to do that. He loves to be understanding when I fail.

Mike: You want to tell me who did it?

Cyril: It was dark... All I can tell your for sure is that they all wore Brut after-shave and reeked of Lavoris.

[as they go for a marriage license:]

Moocher: I wonder if I have to have a job to qualify.

Nancy: I don't think so. I think it's mostly blood and relatives that they're interested in.

Moocher: Blood and relatives... well, that's great. I got both of them.

Dad: No, I don't feel lucky to be alive! I feel lucky I'm not dead. There's a difference.

Dad: I was proud of my work. And the buildings went up. When they were finished the damnedest thing happened. It was like the buildings were too good for us. Nobody told us that. It just felt uncomfortable, that's all.

Dad: If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small?

Moocher: Oh... It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day.

[Dave crosses himself on learning of Team Cinzano's imminent arrival]

Mom: Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.

Dad: I dreamed all last night, that everyone I ever sold a car to came back for a refund. And there you were, handing out the checks! One for you, and one for you...

Mike's Brother: How are you fellas doing?

Cyril: Well, we're a little disturbed by developments in the Middle East, but...

Moocher: [looking at Dave's beat up bike] Doesn't look that bad to me...

Dave: That's cause you don't have to ride it!

Moocher: Well, you know, you don't have to ride it either, Dave. We're not gonna beg you.

Cyril: We may plead, but we would never beg!

Nancy: You know what?

Moocher: No, what?

Nancy: I'm leaving home, that's what.

Moocher: What? Where are you going?

Nancy: About 5 blocks south.

Moocher: [laughs] Yeah?

Nancy: I found this little place, it's so cute I could scream.

Dave: You hear from your folks, Mooch?

Moocher: Yeah, my dad called. He wanted to know if the house was sold. He could use the money something fierce.

Dave: Well, you can come and live with me when it's sold. In Italy, everybody lives together.

Moocher: [laughs] Since you won that Italian bike, man, you've been acting weird. You're really getting to think you're Italian, aren't you?

Cyril: I wouldn't mind thinking I was someone myself.

Dave: Dave: Have a nice trip. Katherine: You too. Dave: But I'm not going anywhere. Katherine: I don't know about that.