Keen Hacksaw: 4.5. Is that her score or the reading on the Ritcher scale?
[the boxing event is about to start. Turkell has Joey Gongolong, a kangaroo with similarities to Muhammad Ali, for an interview]
Lodge Turkell: With me, one of the greatest fighters of this or any other time, Joey Gongolong.
[to Gongolong, who's sparring with the camera]
Lodge Turkell: Champ, shortly you'll be facing the toughest challenge of your long and, I might add, controversial fighting career: the Eurasian, Janos Brushteckel. Champ, take a look at the monitor and feel free, as I'm sure you do, to comment.
[Brushteckel, a bull, appears on screen, already looking dazed]
Joey Gongolong: That face is almost as ugly as yours, Rugs. He's too *ugly* to be champ!
Lodge Turkell: [as a shot of Brushteckel in training appears] True enough. But I've seen that vicious left hook of his, and Champ, you'd better stop fooling around, and take this challenger seriously.
Joey Gongolong: Why you talkin' 'bout takin' me seriously? I did everythin' I could t'get ready for this fight.
[a flashback to Gongolong's training ensues as he describes it in voiceover]
Joey Gongolong: The up 'n down on the hardwood floors... didn't eat no meat, it lays in your stomach, makes ya fat and lazy and heavy.
[grimaces at the single pea he's been served instead]
Joey Gongolong: Everytime in my career, you're on my back! I've trained hard for this Bussmeckel, Bussbeckel, Bussteckel - I can't even pronounce his name, that's why I'm gonna whip him so bad, he's gonna *look* like his last name *sounds*.
[the flashback ripples back to the interview]
Joey Gongolong: I'm the greatest animal champion *of all time!*
Otter: Dude, they're going all the way!
René Fromage: [voiceover] I am in training, *always*. In my life, there is no time for women.
[cut to a picture of Fromage; gradually pull back to show he is being *chased* by an amorous cow. Voiceover continues]
René Fromage: It is all, "run-run-run." Because of this, I am "chaste".
Singer: With you I can run forever... with you I can run forever...
Singer: And then you're all alone again, but where are you?