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|Index||35 reviews in total|
When you get a load of this casting mix and this plot, you're probably
already preparing yourself for a dumb, silly and cheese ball period
adventure. Much of the acting is less than stellar (yet entertaining in
its own way), the accents (or lack thereof) priceless, and the action
ridiculous. There's a fair bit of blood here for a PG rated flick, but
overall this is a pretty "good" diversion on a crummy, politically
incorrect, wholly inaccurate level.
The hilariously cast Lee Majors of 'The Six Million Dollar Man' and 'The Fall Guy' fame plays proud Norse warrior Thorvald, accompanying a group of his men to America (which they dub "Vineland"), where his father, the King (Mel Ferrer), had vanished previously. It turns out that dad had been abducted by the local Indian tribe, so the very slim story ends up turning into a "Norseman vs. Indians" series of battles. Also along for the ride are none other than Jack Elam as an old "wizard", Cornel Wilde as a Norseman named Ragnar, Christopher Connelly as Rolf, Jimmy Clem, a regular in the films of Charles B. Pierce ("The Legend of Boggy Creek", "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"), and the directors' son Chuck Pierce as Majors' younger brother. Sonny Bonos' third wife Susie Coelho plays the young Indian hottie who sympathizes with the Norsemen and betrays her tribe. And is that Kathleen Freeman as an old Indian woman? It sure is.
This is worthy of some hearty chuckles, thanks to the script (by Pierce Sr. himself) and performances. But it's not totally lacking in quality, with sharp Panavision photography by Robert Bethard and stirring, atmospheric music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava.
This may not be one of the directors' finer moments, but it's still fun to a degree.
Executive produced, uncredited, by Majors and his then wife, Farrah Fawcett.
Five out of 10.
I'm sure that these points were made in the other member post, but I didn't read it because the guy was so long winded. Lee Majors is The Norseman, who pronounces it as Noors-man, there is a black viking who wears the tongue of an enemy around his neck, a wizard who's face has never been seen, yet we see it throughout the film, and vikings being killed by getting an arrow to the ass. This movie is GREAT, if you are the type of person who feels that watching "bad" movies makes you stronger. I watched it with two friends and my younger brother, my two friends "hated" it, yet they were the ones showing it to me and this was not their first time watching it (on Video-Disc, no less!!). My brother and I loved it, it was a good time and made for a great double feature with Kurthisss The Drug Free Snake. (I also bought a copy of the original theatrical poster).
Did you know it took FIVE men to edit this film? I don't think I've ever seen any other film with more than two, possibly three, credited editors. It's not surprising, though, considering what they had to work with. Take a wooden Lee Majors as the Six Million Dollar Norseman. Add in an asinine plot about a Viking vs. Native American war. Thicken and stir with the producer's son in a vanity role as a young Viking with all the acting ability of a lamppost, and sprinkle with Deacon Jones playing a black (yes, as in of African extract!!) Viking who got picked up on an earlier longboat jaunt. The result is surely one of the ten worst films ever to get a theatrical release, and that is no easy accomplishment. Your jaw will hang open in horror for the full 97 minute running time.
absolutely one of the worst movies i have ever seen. ponderous, poorly
acted,poorly cast, and dumb. shall we count the ways? a slow motion
montage of the vikings running on the beach
a viking gets shot in the ass with an arrow and dies
the black viking is supposed to be an African prisoner, but why does he wear viking clothes?
also the black viking somehow cut the tongue out of the man who captured him, during said fight! how can you lose that fight?
vikings never wore horned helmets, at least not in battle. they were ceremonial or religious in nature, and the only evidence of them comes from artwork. no artifacts.
why did the indians blind there viking prisoners, who seem to be waited on by the indians?
many more confusing items abound, and this film will become one your favorite COMEDIES the more you watch it.
Lee 'The Six Million Dollar Man' Majors. If he isn't one of the Top Ten WORST excuses for an actor in cinematic history, then somebody needs to be taken off that list so we can put Majors on it.
The bionic dud shows up with a crooked mustache and a late 1970's hairstyle. He utters lines of 'period' dialogue with all the urgency of a constipated snail. Helping him stink is Cornel Wilde(!) -- what the freak is he doing in this creaky tripe? Majors employed a small band of his buddies including Denny Miller (the guy who played 'Tongo' the ape man on Gilligan's Island about a thousand years ago). The only real question here is: How did Majors arrive at the conclusion that doing this film would be a 'good idea'?
Everything in this movie stinks, especially Majors, whom no doubt forgot to drink a cup of coffee each morning before filming so we could tell he was awake.
I think it's a comedy... I think many people approach this film without
considering it's satirical humor, and the 11th century wrist watch.
Satirical humor. Pseudo based on a Viking legend and the Vinland discovery in the Norse sagas. While it's not something I would refer people to for academic purposes, it is a corny, awful film only fans of Norse mythology and Vikings might enjoy.
The acting is mostly amateur at best and the Native's are entirely white people running around half nude, it's a total boob film. It's not a magical piece but you may enjoy the humor of it's bizarre pacing but the sword battles I found enjoyable.
I hope you enjoy it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A band of courageous Vikings led by mighty warrior Thorvald (woodenly
played with hopelessly stiff earnestness by Lee Majors) go to America
to rescue their beloved Norse king Eurich (Mel Ferrer sporting
laughable flowing blonde hair and beard) from the evil clutches of a
savage tribe of Iroquois Indians.
Writer/director Charles B. Pierce really fumbles the ball with often uproarious results: The dodgy accents, highly questionable historical accuracy, glaring anachronisms, some seriously egregious casting (Jerry Lewis movie regular Kathleen Freeman as an irate old Indian woman and Jack Elam as a sinister wizard complete with cowl, falcon, and hunchback win the grand booby prizes), clumsy use of strenuous slow motion, the ridiculously solemn narration, and a few ineptly staged battle set pieces all give this gloriously atrocious gut-buster a certain irresistible kitschy allure. Cornel Wilde fares well as the noble Ragnar, the luscious Susie Coelho cuts a mighty fetching figure in revealing animal skins as helpful fair maiden Winetta, and Jimmy Clem manages to be both credible and endearing as lionhearted mute hulk Olif. Jamie Mendoza-Nava's thunderous score hits the stirring spot. Robert Bethard's sumptuous widescreen cinematography provides a handsome sweeping look. An absolute hoot and a half.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This movie was so bad it was hilarious. We are treated to a single Viking ship (have to imagine that the rest of Erikson's fleet was somewhere else) landing near Miami! We knew that the climate in Canada was historically a lot warmer in 1000 AD than now, but palmettos and palm trees? Algonquins parading through the swamps avoiding alligators? Vikings chasing over white limestone beach sands than hours before had basking beach bunnies? Gad, the Little Ice Age (1350-1850) must have been worse than we thought! The music is a repeat of a single track by the Stuttgart Symphony Orchestra and is used throughout the movie, regardless of situation. Jack Elam does the only half-way credible job in an otherwise awful film. A good laugh.
I am somewhat forgiving in giving this movie a 3! I highly recommend saving your time by doing other activities such finger painting or recreating THE NORSEMAN. I am sure a high school student with a video camera could do a better job at research and casting. The costumes are out of period, Native Americans do not fight running with tomahawks in their hand screaming. Not sure how they really fought back then, but I am sure that was not it! A black Norseman is not impossible just not probable. If I remember correctly the Norse were beaten by the Romans hence the Roman like uniforms plus the Roman had black slaves (Egypt which is located in Africa) hence the black guy.The work seems rushed and a lot of forethought has not gone into the editing. I feel this is one of the reasons why Farrah and Lee divorced.
Plastic/aluminium armour. Knight's armour on Thorvold and a LoneRanger
mask, under his knights helm. Black vikings, white Native
Americans...of course the largest insult is that this dreck was filmed
in Florida, as evidenced by the foliage and the sugar white sand on the
beach. I don't remember Vikings ever landing in Tampa, unless it was in
a football game.
I won't even address the little mustache worn by Mr. Majors, as compared to the full beards of his 'Viking' co-horts.
This is a film you can't believe you are watching, yet won't turn off, because you can't look away.
Of course the climax of the film has the 'Vikings' running through water on a sandbar...anyone watching, who is familiar with Lee Majors as the "Six Million Dollar Man" will find themselves waiting to hear the music/sound effects that accompanied 'Steve Austin' whenever he was performing his feats of strength, or running to save the day.
All this film needed was BigFoot.
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