Joyride to Nowhere (1977)

User Rating:

3.9/10   

Directors:

Mel Welles
Ronald C. Ross

Writers:

George 'Buck' Flower (writer)
John F. Goff (writer)

Genre:

Action

Tagline:

SEE: Dozens & Dozens of Vehicles Destroyed in This Zany Crash Smash!

Plot:

Teenage friends Cindy and Leah have decided to leave their abusive homelives behind, stealing Cindy's...

Plot Keywords:

Girl | Road | On The Road | Boredom | Crash

Cast

Leslie Ackerman	...	Leah
Sandy Serrano	...	Cindy
Len Lesser	...	Charlie
Mel Welles	...	Tank McCall
Ronald C. Ross	...	Curly (as Ronald Ross)
Speed Stearns	...	Jake
Gary Gabelich	...	Swede
Dino Nova	...	Tip
John Alderman	...	Lieutenant
Jan Curnow	...	Waitress
Bill Drake	...	Detective
Mike Dunn	...	Policeman #1
Linda Gary	...	Boutique Clerk
Tani Guthrie	...	Edna
Barry Hamilton	...	Jim

Also Known As:

Baby Dolls

Runtime:

86 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Iceland:L | Norway:15 (video premiere) | UK:18 | USA:PG

Company:

Rosuro Ltd.

JOYride? Far from it sadly..

Two teenage girls go on the run from dodgy boyfriends and dirty old men alike. However, when they cheat a gangster out of a lot of money, things start to get interesting..

..Except that's a complete lie. Nothing in this wretched motion picture in any way, shape or form could be described as interesting. In fact, this is as far gone from that word as you're ever likely to get. I can imagine couples at the drive-thru thirty years ago splitting up over it, furtively arguing about who's dumb idea it was to watch this crap. Yep, it could have meant the death of a whole new generation.. and it's just a movie. The screenplay consists of the two girls talking about life, love and other such codswallop while travelling across America. They meet a dumb bloke who wants to bone them both, and fleece him for everything he's worth. Then of course we have that terribly original sub-plot about Mr Mafia..

Oh God, I can't go on. Believe me, you don't know hell until you hear Leslie Ackerman and Sandy Serrano's vapid conversations. They succeed in making Paris Hilton sound like Albert Einstein, and what's worse is they take up 95% of the film. Yep, the director is labouring under the misapprehension that we would rather hear about the two wench's growing pains than them cavorting naked together in a hot tub. He actually thinks he is making a serious film, where we can actually care about these underwritten characters who are so shallow you couldn't drown an ant in them. To which I respond by pointing at him and laughing out of pure contempt. The next Spielberg? I think not. I'd even say Ed Wood had more talent. At least you could have a good laugh at his stuff..

I have nothing more to say. Go home. Oh, and if you happen to see a skinheaded chap in an Iron Maiden T-shirt on your way back, flipping a pound coin in his hand and with an evil grin on his face, tell him I'd like to have a word. It's something to do with a film he recommended I try. It won't take long, honest.. *SHARPENS A KNIFE*.. 0/10