Mr. Jordan: He's been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a murder. See how he's slowly sliding into the water?
Former owner: He got my team. The son of a bitch got my team.
Advisor to former owner: What kind of pressure did he use, Milt?
Former owner: All I asked was sixty-seven million, and he said "okay."
Advisor to former owner: Ruthless bastard.
[Tony Abbott, after ushering the shreiking Mrs. Julia Farnsworth out of her husband's office, millionaire Mr. Farnsworth who is meeting with Miss Betty Logan, returns to the office and, from the doorway, says]
Tony Abbott: Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Farnsworth. Mrs. Farnsworth saw a mouse.
Betty Logan: She just saw a mouse?
Tony Abbott: No. Before. Outside. But she relives it.
Max Corkle: You be the trainer and I'll start on Sunday.
Joe Pendleton: I'm starting against Dallas? What about Jarrett?
Max Corkle: They don't want to go with Jarrett. They want to go with you. Happy Birthday, Joe!
Mr. Jordan: The likelihood of one individual being right increases in direct proportion to the intensity with which others are trying to prove him wrong.
Julia Farnsworth: You locked me in a closet!
Bentley: [On the landing of the elegant stairway, near the closet where Mr. Farnsworth/Joe Pendleton meets with Mr. Jordan, invisible to everyone but himself] I noticed there are two cups.
Everett: Well, Sisk felt that since Mr. Farnsworth was pretending to talk to someone, he might want to pretend to give him cocoa, too.
Max Corkle: [whilst training Pendleton in the spacious mansion grounds] This isn't going to work. You're playing football with a bunch of butlers!
Joe Pendleton: I'm not supposed to be here.
Joe Pendleton: I'm not really Leo Farnsworth.
Newspaperman: Isn't it true that an accident in your west coast nuclear plant could stimulate seismic activity in the San Andreas fault, which could destroy most of southern California?
Tony Abbott: I think you'd have to define "destroy".
Joe Pendleton: We don't care how much it costs, just how much it makes. If it costs too much, we charge a penny more. Would you pay more to save a fish who thinks?
Betty Logan: I don't know you enough for you to hurt me.