Jimmy Fingers: Excuse me. I got a phone call this morning. A voice said to come here and look for a girl on the phone. She'll be the girl of your dreams. 5'5', dark hair, blue eyes. She's wearing a dusty rose bikini and her name is Julie.
Julie: Well, you made a mistake. I'm 5'6'.
Jimmy: [to a girl he's just met] I want it from you.
Julie: Want what?
Julie: Why? Do you love me?
Jimmy: No, I'm in love with a girl called Carol. I love your...
Julie: My what?
Jimmy: Your pussy.
Julie: How do you know that?
Jimmy: Of all the different kinds of pussy in the world; soft, hot, gravel, velvet, cold, wet, big, small, there's only one kind I can feel in my blood on sight. And that's silk, which is yours.
Ruth: [interrupting her son's innocuous greeting] I don't want to hear it.
Ruth: Whatever it is you plan to hurt me with.
Jimmy Fingers: Don't you understand? I'm going to bring you into dreams of yourself. All you have to do is believe in me.
Carol: What? You're so full of shit!
Jimmy Fingers: [playing a cassette in his boom box] That's the Chiffons, Dad.
Ben: Where's that Jerry Vale tape I bought you for Christmas?
Jimmy Fingers: [taking it out and inserting it into his boom box] Are you kidding? I'm meeting you for lunch, right?
Ben: Well, put it on, kid. I never understand you. Either it's got to be a 900 year old Kraut or 5 niggers with squeaky voices.
Jimmy Fingers: What if I want a slice of pizza?
Luchino: Can't you read the signs outside? We don't sell sliced pizza.
Jimmy Fingers: What if I wanted 60 slices of pizza?
Luchino: You deaf? No slice pizza! Take it on the arches!
Restaurant patron: [annoyed] Hey, waiter! Tell this character to turn his radio off!
Jimmy Fingers: What are you tellin' him for? Tell me!
Restaurant patron: All right, I'm tellin' ya - turn it off!
Jimmy Fingers: [with incredulity] Do you believe this? This is the Jamies, man! "Summertime, Summertime!" - the most musically inventive song of 1958! What are you eating? Shrimp? Are you gonna tell me this song doesn't go with your shrimp?
Doctor Fry: [putting on a long rubber glove] Relax. All I'm gonna do is slip a finger in.
Jimmy Fingers: Why d'ya need a glove on up to your elbow?
Doctor Fry: My arm's cold. Turn around and bend over.
Doctor Fry: The golden rule of urology - if you get an erection, you come, if you don't get an erection, you walk.