Melissa: Why do they call you the Duck?
Rubber Duck: Because it rhymes with "luck." See, my daddy always told me to be just like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath!
Rubber Duck: You ever seen a duck that couldn't swim? Quack, quack!
Melissa: But they're all following you.
Rubber Duck: [looks at Melissa then road] No, they ain't. I'm just in front of them.
Widow Woman: [kicking her overturned truck in disgust] This piece of white shit! I knew I should've bought myself a black truck!
Chuck Arnoldi: We'd like to know, is this convoy some sort of protest demonstration? And if it is, what's its purpose?
Rubber Duck: Purpose of a convoy is to keep movin'.
Melissa: Well I think I've had just about enough of this, thank you very much. I'll think I'll take my things and GET OUT. If you'll pull over to the side, I'm sure I can hitch a ride very easily... Weren't you listening to me? I said I'm ready to get out!
Rubber Duck: You want out? We're being chased. You want out? Jump.
Melissa: You want to add the Mann Act to your collection?
Rubber Duck: Mann Act's for 18 year olds, not someone who's seen the better side of thirty!
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: You oughta be shot right where you're standing! So help me if I had a gun, I'd do it myself!
Rubber Duck: That badge would make it alright, wouldn't it?
Governer Jerry Haskins: A lonely breed... hard men, proud men... not too proud to cry or shed a tear. The living embodiment of the American cowboy tradition. Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to honor this great native American son who gave his life for a cause so vital to us all, like so many great Americans before him had. As you can see, these truckers are going to start passing, paying their respects to their lost comrade, the Rubber Duck, in their Macks, their Jimmies, K-Whoppers, Fruitliners, garbage trucks, dump trucks and even limousines... Truckers all! From the covered wagons and trains to the 18-wheelers that keep this country alive... This controlled individualism made this cause so vital that I promise to take it to Washington and present it to the Senate myself.
Officer Bookman: My name is Bob Bookman, sir, and I hate truckers.
Rubber Duck: Here's the plan: When we get to the pass, we're gonna put on our fish costumes, pass out the Vaseline® an' an extra ration o' rum for the men. That should do it.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I am the law. Don't you understand, I represent the law.
Rubber Duck: Well piss on ya, and piss on your law.
Rubber Duck: [On meeting Lyle Wallace] Jesus Christ.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Hello, R.D.
Rubber Duck: Boys, this is the Papa Bear.
Rubber Duck: How much is it, Lyle?
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: Fifty. Each.
Bobby 'Love Machine' 'Pig Pen': You rob me, bastard.
Rubber Duck: Hey, take it easy, this ain't an auction, man.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: I'm doing my job. Keeping my part of the highway safe.
Spider Mike: Yeah, well you keep it safe in that ditch somewhere feeding flies.
Rubber Duck: [to Lyle Wallace on the CB after he has crashed his car] Hey, until you get a little better control over that machinery, I'd suggest you lay off them acrobatics.
Big Nasty: [On the CB] Hallelujah! Looks like we've got some long-haired friends of Jesus back there.
Reverend Sloane: [On the CB] I don't read nothin' in scripture that says thou shall not put the pedal to the metal.
Rubber Duck: Welcome aboard there, Reverend. We could sure use some spiritual help here. Think you can handle it?
Reverend Sloane: It's a pleasure, our pleasure. We're just tryin' to do a good job, Brother Rubber.
Rubber Duck: [to Melissa] Brother Rubber? What is that guy's name? He ain't no Reverend.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: [On the CB] Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine. This is the bear in the air, officer Lyle Wallace calling Rubber Jerk in that rattlin' piece of black crap at your side door. Come on!
Rubber Duck: Please don't be using that kind of language on the air, Lyle. Especially don't be using it regarding my beautiful black truck. Over.
Sheriff Lyle Wallace aka Cottonmouth: That thing you call a truck is the worst pile of garbage I ever had the misfortune of writing a citation on.