Memorable quotes for
Wizards (1977) More at IMDbPro »

Avatar: Oh yeah... one more thing: I'm glad you changed your last name, you son of a bitch!
Share this quote

Max: Fritz! Fritz, get up for God's sake! Get up! They've killed Fritz! They've killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow fairies! Those horrible atrocity-filled vermin! Those despicable animal warmongers! They've killed Fritz! Take that! Take this! Take that, you green slime! You black hearted, short, bow-legged...
Fritz: Max! Max, I'm okay! I'm okay max. Just a scratch. Look I'm all right.
Max: Oh. Oh, damn. There you go again, stepping on my lines, raining on my parade, costing me medals. Oh, damn.
[Accidentally shoots Fritz]
Max: Ohh. Oh, Fritz? Fritz, get up for God's sake! Get up! They've killed Fritz! They've killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow fairies! Those horrible atrocity-filled vermin! Take that! Take that! They killed Fritz!
Share this quote

Avatar: I'm too old for this sort of thing. Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed.
Share this quote

General: [guffaws] If this is the great Avatar, then I am a warthog's uncle!
Weehawk: Funny you should say that.
[hurls his sword, skewering the general]
Share this quote

Blackwolf: Brother, there is no need for me to destroy you. Surrender! Surrender your world!
Avatar: [clapping] You always did need an audience you sap.
Share this quote

Weehawk: So, what are elves good for?
Share this quote

Elinore: I have always been good, and could even... be better sometimes.
Share this quote

Avatar: [to companions] I'll be right down, Heroes!
Avatar: [leading Peace by a rope] Allright, creep, Now before I untie you, I wanna tell you a couple of things, and I want you to listen, and listen carefully. This has been the biggest bummer of a trip I've ever been on; but if you let me down, or you hurt my friends, especially the broad, I got stuff planned for you that'll take twenty years to kill ya.
Peace: ...no pain...
Avatar: ...And you'll be screaming for mercy in the first five seconds.
Peace: Peace wants love... wants free... will help.
Avatar: [jerks leash] Look, just get us there, ya got it?
Share this quote

Hawk: Hey, c'mon Lardbottom, get up. Blackwulf's callin'.
Lardbutt: I don't wanna go.
Hawk: Hey, when Blackwulf calls, we go.
Lardbutt: I don't wanna fight any more...
Hawk: Ya gotta!
Lardbutt: I don't wanna hurt things any more!
Hawk: Hey... you're so stupid...
Lardbutt: [jumps up] Listen, Hawk, I ain't stupid; Just listen! Y'know what I mean, trees, birds, butterflies? Everything's got a right to live! Y'know what I mean?
Hawk: Hey... hey... waitaminnit...
Lardbutt: Everything... everything's got a right to live... the butterflies... Why can't...
Hawk: [kicks Lardbutt to get his attention] Blackwulf's got a secret weapon that makes us invincible. We can't lose.
Lardbutt: [shoulders weapon, tramples Hawk] Right, left, right, left, right...
Share this quote

Avatar: [to Weehawk] You know, the world owes you much, kid. Even if we don't take another step.
Share this quote

Avatar: Now this, "Peace" here, he knows every step to Scorch. I've promised him life without pain, life without fear...
Weehawk: I still don't trust him.
Avatar: Hey! You're both forgettin' you have the protection of a powerful wizard, here!
[levitates up to horse, lands backward in saddle]
Avatar: Dammit...
Elinore: [giggling] He's gettin' older, but not much bolder!
[Both Weehawk and Elinore laugh and ride away]
Avatar: I wonder if I packed my scotch...
Share this quote

Weehawk: [to horse] Steady, Westwind. We'll eat alone, lest we sit with fools.
Share this quote

Fairy Child: Where's Daddy? What's he doing?
Fairy: He is guarding our home, son.
Fairy: There has been a war, and this land is lost.
Fairy Child: Why can't we fight and win, Mommy?
Fairy: Because they have weapons and technology. We just have love.
Share this quote

Blackwolf: It's time to strike! Sieg heil...
Share this quote