Coupling, shunting, riding up front, riding in the caboose, stoking the firebox: the puns are there, but it's not worth the effort.
Special Train for Hitler AKA Hell Train sees seasoned exploitation star Monica Swinn as Ilsa... sorry, I mean Ingrid... a nightclub singer put in charge of a train full of prostitutes doing their bit for The Fatherland by giving pleasure to officers of The Third Reich.
But as Ilsa... sorry, I mean Ingrid...and her girls wend their way through war-torn Europe aboard their steam-powered brothel-on-wheels, their beloved Fuhrer is slowly losing his bid for world domination. With the Allied forces drawing ever closer, it's the end of the line for Ilsa's... sorry, Ingrid's... love train, and the blonde bitch must use all of her womanly wiles to survive...
Nowhere near as salacious and sleazy as my plot summary suggests, Hell Train is possibly the tamest of all of the Nazisploitation films that I have seen so far.... and I've seen quite a few! The depravity is limited to a lame table-top striptease from Swinn before some leering Nazi top brass, an officer having wine licked from his bare chest by two harlots (the beast!), a couple frolicking on a pile of coal (how filthy!), a top ranking officer riding a prostitute around a carriage like a horse (how inhuman!), and a German whore being repeatedly spanked by angry partisans (it seems that war makes monsters of us all!).
In a genre that exists to shock and offend, such innocuous, lightweight antics are inexcusable; Dyanne Thorne would never have let it happen.
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