Sleazy scam artist Joan Collins tries to sell phony real estate deals down in the Florida everglades. What she and her unsuspecting buyers don't know is the area has been taken over by ... See full summary »
Bert I. Gordon
John David Carson
After local-moonshine swilling trapper Lem Sawyer sees a giant creature, people start disappearing. While searching for illegal traps Steve Benton and Nan Greyson, his girl-friend find Lem ... See full summary »
A scientist experimenting with matter transmission from place to place by means of a laser beam suddenly decides to use himself as a test specimen. But the process goes awry, and one side ... See full summary »
"You've never seen anything til you've seen the Sun through the rings of Saturn," exclaims Alex Rebar. Apparently, somehow this causes him to start melting and eating people, such as a nurse in the tightest fitting nurse's outfit ever, a nerdy fisherman, a horny old couple who simply can't keep their hands off each other in a car. To save the day comes Doctor Ted Nelson! Written by
Jonah Falcon <email@example.com>
Once upon a time some evil people made a movie about a guy that got shot into space, supposedly to go to Saturn, but really only to some stock footage of solar flares, and then he gets a nose bleed, and before you know it, he's laying in a hospital bandaged head to foot, and then an overweight nurse with an ill-fitting uniform comes in and gets eaten by the guy, whose supposed to be melting all over the place but never seems to lose any mass, and then NASA, or at least one guy at NASA, gets upset about it and calls one other guy in to hunt him down, but the guy they sent to hunt the melting guy has to go home and have soup first, and his oddly-shaped wife forgot the crackers, so he can't have crackers, and then he has to go out and look for the melting guy with a geiger counter, and that doesn't really work, so he really only follows the trail of half-eaten corpses, and then there's something about a sheriff, and two ugly old people in a lemon grove, and a women with a meat cleaver, and some kind of industrial plant with trigger-happy security guards, and since I can't tell you how the movies ends, all I can say is Jonathan Demme is in it somewhere with some guy with the stupid name of Burr DeBenning, and if there's any justice in the world everyone connected with this movie died a hideous, violent death and was unable to make more movies, and the world lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER - THE END!
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