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John 'Bud' Cardos
Sleazy scam artist Joan Collins tries to sell phony real estate deals down in the Florida everglades. What she and her unsuspecting buyers don't know is the area has been taken over by giant ants! Written by
I guess I'm the only one who noticed the potential "love story" here. Don't believe me? From the beginning it seems very clear that Robert Lansing's Dan Stokely has a thing for the bitchy Marilyn Fryser (played by everyone's favorite bitch, Joan Collins). Check out that elongated "stare" they share on the boat. Then there's Jacqueline Scott's droopy, whiny, bitter, button-obsessed Margaret Ellis. She has a thing for Dan, but Dan tries to brush her off by saying he doesn't need any buttons. The clincher, however, is when Marilyn decides to go it alone through the forest, but is immediately confronted by those annoying picnic pests. Take note how she runs back right into Dan's waiting arms. Note also how he eagerly holds her tight and caresses her. And make one final note at Margaret Ellis's reaction -- you think she was bitter before?
That one scene provides more drama and suspense than anything else in the film! For example: Does Margaret really love Dan? Does Dan really love Marilyn? Does Marilyn really want to give up her life as an independent and successful woman for the macho Dan? Will Margaret kill Marilyn so she can sew buttons for Dan? Will Marilyn kill Margaret and steal her buttons so SHE can sew them for Dan? Will Dan say "to hell with the buttons," rip off his shirt and have his way with both women? Or will Dan say "to hell" with both women and offer them up as sacrifices to the ants?
Alas, the movie never answers these questions. But wouldn't it be cool if it had?
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