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Episode List



8 Jan. 1983
Paroled to Love/First Impressions/Love Finds Florence Nightingale
Ex-con Eddie confesses his guilt to lawyer Gloria, who got him acquitted. PR workers Doris and Marsha impersonate celebrities who were accidentally booked on another cruise. Actress Phyllis meets a man who dislikes show biz types.
15 Jan. 1983
The Captain's Replacement/Sly as a Fox/Here Comes the Bride - Maybe
Capt. Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) mentors Captain Donahue (McLean Stevenson), whom Gopher (Fred Grandy) thinks is out to take command of the Pacific Princess. Ben Phillips (Frank Bonner) and Henry Greg (Arte Johnson) seem to be aggressively competing for the affections of Mary Frances Bellflower (Shelley Fabares), who claims that they're only after her foxhound. Doc's (Bernie Kopell) longtime friend, Erica Dupont (Jenilee Harrison), works on the cruise to help her mother pay for her wedding to wealthy fiancé Robert Wallingford (Stephen Shortridge), who, along with his socially snobbish parents Harold and Margaret (William Windom and Jane Wyatt), thinks she's wealthy, as well. But then Harold and Margaret turn up on the...
22 Jan. 1983
Doc's Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance
Doc's (Bernie Kopell) medical school chum, Dr. Elliot Norton (James Noble), gives Vicki (Jill Whelan) some information for an article on Doc, but is besieged with requests for interviews, leaving Doc feeling very insecure about his own accomplishments, which pale in comparison to those of Dr. Norton. Tom Niver (Raymond St. Jacques) and Faye Phillips (Theresa Merritt) are seniors living together without being married. They introduce his son Jeffrey (Brian Stokes Mitchell) to her daughter Velma (Telma Hopkins), both of whom object to their parents' domestic arrangement. Computer genius Ross (Alan Young) meets longtime friend Kathy Brighton (Holland Taylor) abroad the ship, but is afraid of ...
29 Jan. 1983
Gopher's Daisy/Our Son, the Lawyer/Salvaged Romance
Gopher (Fred Grandy) buys a Daisy exercise machine to improve his physique but doesn't want the other crew members to know about it, while an attractive girl (Chanelle Lea) keeps sneaking into his cabin while he's out. Doc (Bernie Kopell), Isaac (Ted Lange) and Julie (Lauren Tewes) are confused by the sounds of his exercising and by the girl's comings and goings. They eventually jump to the wrong conclusion that he's having a very physical affair with the girl. Long-married Lou and Harriet Stevens (James Coco and Doris Roberts) bicker a great deal. Their 25-year-old son Jonathan (Adam Arkin) is a divorce lawyer who announces plans to move out of the family...
5 Feb. 1983
Isaac's Aegean Affair/The Captain and the Kid/Poor Rich Man/The Dean and the Flunkee: Part 1
The crew are in Greece working a cruise where a College is having its graduation ceremony. The Principal is attracted to a teacher who rebuffs him because he won't give a student a make-up test so he can graduate. And the student and a couple of his friends are hounding the Principal to do that. A prodigy is attracted to Vicki which doesn't make the Captain happy. And the valedictorian whose education was provided by his Greek aunt whom he assumed is wealthy but upon meeting her learns she's just a woman of humble means. And when she goes on board he doesn't tell ...
12 Feb. 1983
The Zinging Valentine/The Very Temporary Secretary/Final Score
As Keith Kelly boards a Valentine's Day cruise, he receives a nasty singing telegram from Suzie Scott telling him that his girlfriend has dumped him. So he misdirects his resentment toward the girlfriend at Suzie, and it only intensifies when she forgets to leave the ship before it sails. Magazine editor Liz Merritt calls a temporary agency to recruit a secretary. The agency head Sam Corey visits the ship to tell her that they couldn't find anyone, then decides to pose as the secretary himself, despite the fact that he doesn't type and doesn't take dictation. Football...
19 Feb. 1983
The Captain's Crush/Out of My Hair/Off-Course Romance
A golf widow (Stella Stevens) consoles herself with a former lover (Ron Ely); Captain Stubing is attracted to movie star (Joan Collins). A woman (Delta Burke) tries to avoid her former lover/hairdresser.
26 Feb. 1983
I Like to Be in America/He Ain't Heavy/Abby's Maiden Voyage
April comes back after being let go by her employer and is trying to gain citizenship but always crumbles during the oral exam. One of the ship's waiters gets into it with one of the passengers and learns that they have a connection. And an inexperienced girl wants to have her first time and meets a guy but whenever they become intimate she breaks up killing the mood.
5 Mar. 1983
Vicki's Dilemma/Discount Romance/Looser & Still Champ
Vicki (Jill Whelan) hooks up with a young passenger (Glenn Scarpelli), who gives her some pills which he said are supplements. But, when the boy gets ill and Doc (Bernie Kopell) deduces it's from drug use and when the pills are found on Vicki, the boy's mother (Elinor Donahue) accuses Vicki of giving her son the drugs. Gopher's (Fred Grandy) uncle (Red Buttons), a salesman, sets up a little shop in his cabin, which undermines the ship's gift shop. And he takes a liking to the woman (June Allyson) in charge of the shop, whose job could be in jeopardy because she's not making any sales. And a guy (Patrick Wayne), who's traveling with his girlfriend (Ann Turkel), feels ...
12 Mar. 1983
So Help Me Hannah/The Maid Cleans Up/C.P.R, I.O.U.
San Francisco fashion designer Hannah Harvey has been widowed for twenty years and nicknamed "Helpful Hannah" due to her penchant for persuading those around her to follow their bliss by expressing their creativity. She is reunited with twelve-years-widowed longtime friend Jarvis Holden, whose son Kent loves to play the piano and is studying to take the real estate exam. Her efforts to help Kent use his musical talent clash with Jarvis' paternal intentions. Interior design student Dee Dee Draper is working as a maid for Gregory King, whose sometime-girlfriend Meredith...
25 Mar. 1983
The Dog Show: Going to the Dogs/Putting on the Dog/Women's Best Friend/Whose Dog Is It Anyway
On the cruise, there is a dog contest to determine which dog will be on the cover of the dog food containers. A woman (Catherine Bach) thinks that the dog, belonging to another passenger (Dirk Benedict), is the dog she lost sometime ago. Isaac's Aunt Tanya (Isabel Sanford) enters her pet and is pampering him so much that her husband, Charles (Mel Stewart), is feeling neglected. Gopher and Isaac get a dog (Tundra the Wonder Dog) and enter him in the contest but they have trouble training him or so they think. And the mail clerk (Ray Buktenica), from the dog food company, goes on board to deliver something to Captain Stubing but the President of the ...
2 Apr. 1983
The Professor Has Class/When the Magic Disappears/We, the Jury
Professor Roscoe Weber (Sam Jaffe) is a 91-year-old Nobel Prize winner in the psychology field and doesn't realize that his adoring former pupil, Professor Helen Burton (Bettye Ackerman), has been hired by his university to replace him. Expert magician, The Great Stellini (Dick Van Patten), flagrantly disapproves of his daughter Christina's (Mary-Margaret Humes) suitor, a novice magician named Joey Gardiner (Barry Van Dyke), who he thinks wants to steal his secrets. Minnie Dunlop (Anne Meara) used to be Harlan Weatherly's (Jerry Stiller) landlady, before his damage to the apartment drove her to file a lawsuit against him. So Gopher (Fred Grandy) leads Doc (Bernie Kopell), Isaac (Ted Lange), ...
30 Apr. 1983
Hits and Missus/Return of Annabelle/Just Plain Folks Medicine/Caught in the Act/The Real Thing/Do Not Disturb/Lulu & Kenny (Country Music Jamboree): Part 1
Singer Holly Hartman's husband Danny writes songs for her. But he's also writing songs for singer C. G. Thomas under a pseudonym. Annabelle Folker returns, this time with boyfriend Ted Myler and three orphans whose parents died en route to one of her concerts. The orphans try to upset Ted so that he will bow out and enable Annabelle to have more time with them. Effie Skaggs upsets Doc and Merrill by handing out bottles of her homemade folk remedy Aunt Effie's Elixir, which constitutes practicing medicine without a license. Jeannie Davis' jewelry attracts the attention...
30 Apr. 1983
Hits and Missus/Return of Annabelle/Just Plain Folks Medicine/Caught in the Act/The Real Thing/Do Not Disturb/Lulu & Kenny (Country Music Jamboree): Part 2
Holly Hartman finds out that Danny has been writing songs for C. G. Thomas. Ted Myler issues an ultimatum to Annabelle: either the kids fly home or he does. Effie Skaggs gets sick but won't let Doc examine her. Jeannie Davis begs Henry Bullard not to reveal the truth about her jewelry. Merrill asks Gopher to look into the disappearance of implements from Chef Loomis' kitchen. Gopher continues trying to have his picture taken with vacationing Dottie West. Plus-sized Kenny Creek and Lulu Dixon continue to enjoy the food served on board.
7 May 1983
Fountain of Youth/Bad Luck Cabin/Uncle Daddy
Aging Dwight Scoffield (David Wayne) bilked Henry Harper in a land deal, decades earlier. Now, Dwight is on the cruise with his granddaughter, Stacy Scoffield (Michele Tobin), and meets Henry Harper (Ted McGinley), who doesn't seem to have aged at all in fifty years and claims that a fountain of youth is responsible. Newlyweds Cora Winnaker (Lynda Goodfriend) and Edwin Winnaker (David Naughton) are booked into Cabin 213 on the Fiesta Deck, which according to Gopher (Fred Grandy), is a bad luck cabin for all newlywed couples. Sure enough, as soon as Cora and Edwin arrive, a string of bad luck begins for the couple. Isaac's (Ted Lange) widowed friend, ...
1 Oct. 1983
The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings: Part 1
The crew goes to China to work on a cruise there. Among the passengers is a woman whose ill who while on shore meets a man, who tries to get on board but couldn't. But another passenger pulls a gun on him and slaps handcuffs on him. Doc meets a woman who has a little problem with the medical professionals. A woman who's trying to get over her marriage ending meets a guy who unknown to her or anyone writes the advice column, "Dear Roberta" whose advice was what led to her divorce. And a guy who's been juggling two girls has to deal with the two of them being on the ...
8 Oct. 1983
Bricker's Boy/Lotions of Love/The Hustlers
The professional escort (Ted McGinley) of an older woman (Vera Miles) dallies with a young woman (Constance Forslund); a young man (Timothy Patrick Murphy) comes aboard and tells Dr. Bricker (Bernie Kopell) that he is his long-lost son; an advertising executive (Brodie Greer) and his client's (Evelyn Keyes) daughter (Lydia Cornell) work on his client's ad campaign.
15 Oct. 1983
Youth Takes a Holiday/Don't Leave Home Without It/Prisoner of Love
A couple (Louis Nye and Charlotte Rae) is traveling with their recently-divorced friend (Jamie Farr), who brings his young girlfriend (Heather Locklear) with him. A retired cop (Cornel Wilde) learns that a young man (Glenn Scarpelli), who is a friend of Vicki's (Jill Whelan), is a thief but the thief reminds the cop of his deceased son and the cop has a plan for the thief to turn himself in. An Army captain (Beth Howland), on leave after six months in the Arctic, is looking for male companionship and has set her sights on Gopher (Fred Grandy) and when he refuses her overtures, she locks him in her cabin with her and refuses to let him out.
22 Oct. 1983
Rhino of the Year/One Last Time/For Love or Money
The Rhinos are a group of happy-go-lucky lodge brothers out for a good time during their annual convention and have chosen Merrill as their honorary Rhino of the Year. Their head, Marv Mason, asks Merrill to choose a crew member to say a few words at the award ceremony. But when Merrill chooses Isaac, the Rhinos reveal themselves as bigots. Barry and Toni Cooper were married for seventeen years, apart for four months, and are now taking one last cruise before they divorce... unless the romance of an ocean cruise changes their plans. Russ Butler is traveling with his ...
29 Oct. 1983
Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face
A man (Gordon Jump) cons his wife (Florence Henderson) into insisting he have an affair; a man (Clint Walker) orders an end to the romance between his daughter (Deborah Shelton) and his best friend (Robert Reed); a cruise line board member's niece (Kim Lankford) expects special treatment.
5 Nov. 1983
When Worlds Collide/The Captain and the Geisha/The Lottery Winners/The Emperor's Fortune: Part 1
The passengers and crew cruise through Japan. Photographer Lila Pearsell is prejudiced toward the Japanese because her father was crippled in World War 2. She meets businessman Bud O'Hara and falls for him without knowing that his father is Japanese. Martha Chambers, a teacher of Asian history, poses as a geisha girl named Myoshi to get to know Merrill better. Dockworker Barney Gordon and his wife Gladys are showing off the five million dollars they won in a lottery and making the crew uncomfortable. A Japanese businessman pays for widowed Celia Hoffman and her ...
12 Nov. 1983
Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup
A carnival owner (Howard Keel) gets mixed messages from a woman (Jan Smithers); a comedy duo (Michael Lembeck and Christopher Mayer) falls for the same woman (Randi Oakes); a man (Dean Butler) only sees the sexy side of his wife (Crystal Bernard).
19 Nov. 1983
Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care
Julie claims to be the number one fan of actor Colin Crawford, whose wife Gina is tired of keeping up the charade of being Colin's secretary. Cantankerous Herbert Chandler uses a wheelchair and employs nurse Donna Maloney after having been in an accident, but Doc wonders why it's taking him so long to lose the wheelchair and recover. Arrogant corporate Vice President Harrison and his assistant Rick Tucker are both in love with Christine Burton from their payroll office, which complicates Tucker's life considerably.
26 Nov. 1983
The World's Greatest Kisser/Don't Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father
A big, hairy guy in a cowboy hat (Dan Haggerty) brings his blonde, giggly BFF (Elaine Joyce) aboard to go sleuthing. He wants her to climb out of her square to find the guy who stole his fiancée, by being the world's greatest kisser. She will have to kiss a lot of frogs in the process, so she starts with the crew. A divorced father (William Christopher) brings his teenaged daughter (Danielle Brisebois) aboard; the secular dad wants to become closer to his child, following the recent death of her mother. Vicki (Jill Whelan) befriends her and shares her similar past experiences. A Hardy young executive (Parker Stevenson) makes his young bride (Kirstie Alley) (who can ...
3 Dec. 1983
Dee Dee's Dilemma/Julie's Blind Date/The Prize Winner
A woman who's being sought to testify in a messy divorce case sneaks on board disguised as a girl, and she finds herself hanging with a father and son. A guy whom Julis was set up with, is not exactly her type but before she could dump him , he dumps her which bruises her ego. An author who recently won a literary prize, goes on board with his wife and his assistant. It seems that the assistant knows that the book he wrote was not entirely written by him and is using it to coerce him into having an affair with her.
10 Dec. 1983
The Misunderstanding/Love Below Decks/The End Is Near
A retired actress (Claire Trevor) seeks help from her son-in-law (James Houghton) in effecting a reconciliation with her daughter (Morgan Brittany); a passenger (Arlene Dahl) has a shipboard romance with the ship's engineer (Vic Tayback); two newlyweds (Delta Burke and Lou Richards) assume the world is coming to an end.
17 Dec. 1983
The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike
A detective (John Hillerman), traveling with his secretary (Allyn Ann McLerie), investigates the case of a vanished passenger; Julie's (Lauren Tewes) high school friend (Jeannie Wilson) comes aboard with her son (R.J. Williams) for a reunion with her Army Colonel father (Claude Akins), who is expecting to meet his son-in-law; a woman (Didi Conn) is protesting her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve)'s engagement to another woman (Wendy Schaal).

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Episode Cast | Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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