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(1977–1987)

Episode List

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1981

3 Jan. 1981
The Frugal Pair/Doc's Dismissal/The Girl Next Door
Carl and Violet Hooper's (Lew Ayres and Janet Gaynor) 40th anniversary cruise goes sour, after he learns that her investments have been so successful that he could have retired from his job as a mailman years earlier. Sally Welker (Jessica Walter) endeavors to attract her neglectful husband Hank's (Alex Cord) attention by claiming that Doc (Bernie Kopell) made a pass at her during an examination. Charlie Cole (Sal Viscuso) sneaks on the cruise because he doesn't believe that his girlfriend Heather's (Denise DuBarry) travel partner Rudy (Stephen Shortridge) is her brother; he then convinces Pam Madison (Lynda Goodfriend), the passenger in the cabin next door to Heather's, to let him...
 
10 Jan. 1981
Isaac's Teacher/Seal of Approval/The Successor
A woman (Florence Henderson), who believes she is cursed and will die prematurely, is determined to find her husband (Jeffrey Tambor) a new mate, and he chooses a young passenger (Christina Hart); Isaac (Ted Lange) is afraid of running into his old high school teacher, when she (Lillian Gish) and her grandson (Reb Brown) come aboard; a seal (The Seal Shirley) is jealous when her trainer (Donald O'Connor) and another passenger (Georgia Engel) get together.
 
17 Jan. 1981
The Trigamist/Jealousy/From Here to Maternity
Vicki (Jill Whelan) resents her father's (Gavin MacLeod) attention to a woman passenger (Pat Crowley); a judge (Nancy Walker) trails a man (George Gobel), who compulsively marries women without divorcing the other women; an expectant husband (Michael Young) worries about his wife (Murphy Cross), even though she isn't due for two months.
 
17 Jan. 1981
First Voyage, Last Voyage/April the Ninny/The Loan Arranger
A young woman falls in love without knowing that her health is in danger. April becomes a nanny to TV sportscaster Ty Younger's kids. A loan shark sends one of his men to collect a debt, but complications arise.
 
24 Jan. 1981
Gopher's Bride/Love with a Married Man/Not Tonight, Jack!
Gopher (Fred Grandy) is initially worried about meeting his Canadian pen pal (Marie Laurin) but then thinks he's in love; a woman (Trish Stewart) discovers she is supposed to share her cabin with a man (Patrick Wayne) and, after throwing him out, he tries to find a place to stay; a man (Paul Burke), married to a workaholic (Dana Wynter), meets a widow (Susan Oliver), who's willing to take his wife's place.
 
31 Jan. 1981
Lose One, Win One/The $10,000 Lover/Mind My Wife
Doc Bricker (Bernie Kopell) is excited to see his old medical school chum (James MacKrell), but when the old friend has to skip the trip, he asks Doc to look after his wife (Jill St. John) and the wife is very interested in getting to know Doc better; a very ordinary-looking guy (Ron Palillo) is actually the world's greatest lover; and a woman (Dorian Lopinto) either has a twin or a secret past.
 
7 Feb. 1981
Isaac and the Mermaids/Humpty, Dumpty/Aquaphobic
Isaac courts a talent scout with his singing skills. A former All-American football player has a romance with Julie. Glenn Dobson's wife forces him to take the cruise in order to help him conquer his fear of water.
 
14 Feb. 1981
Return of the Ninny/Touchdown Twins/Split Personality
Charo returns as April Lopez. Television sportscaster Ty Younger (Larry Linville) and his new fiancée, Lisa Michelle (Arlene Martel), can't leave his children Gayle and Jerry (Rachel Jacobs and Alex Woodard) and their "ninny" April (Charo) behind, when they set sail. A college football player (Vincent Van Patten) develops a crush on his friend's (Philip Brown) mother (Samantha Eggar). Gopher's college friend (Michael Lembeck) tries to be one thing for his boss (Ralph Bellamy) and another for the boss' daughter (Laurette Spang), all the while not realizing they are father and daughter.
 
21 Feb. 1981
Quiet, My Wife's Listening/Eye of the Beholder/The Nudist from Sunshine Gardens
A man (Dick Martin), in the middle of a divorce and traveling with his mistress, is convinced his wife is spying on him; a blind woman (Leslie Uggams) fends off a would-be suitor; a nudist sunbather (Barbi Benton) causes problems for the crew, especially Gopher (Fred Grandy).
 
28 Feb. 1981
Black Sheep/Hometown Doc/Clothes Make the Girl
Isaac's uncle (Demond Wilson), who has not exactly been an upstanding guy, comes on board. And, a government agent (Robert Ginty) tells the Captain that he is following Isaac's uncle, who he thinks is involved in something that's not exactly legal. A member of the crew (Larry Breeding) is attracted to a passenger (Kyle Aletter) but her mother (Lee Meriwether, Kyle Aletter's real-life mother) is hoping that her daughter can snag a wealthy man. So, he borrows another passenger (Steve Doubet)'s clothes and pretends to be a man of means. And a guy from Doc's hometown ('Randy Powell'), whom he helped send to medical school so that their hometown ...
 
7 Mar. 1981
I Love You Too, Smith/Mamma and Me/Sally's Paradise
Julie's (Lauren Tewes) friend (Juliet Mills) sails with her fiancé (Gary Conway) only to discover her other fiancé (Pedro Armendáriz Jr.) is also on board, as well, and has to spend the trip juggling them both; a man (Eddie Mekka), traveling with his elderly mother (Sylvia Sidney), has trouble re-connecting with a childhood friend (Joan Prather), whom his mother does not approve of; Gopher (Fred Grandy)'s personal nemesis (Joanna Pettet), a difficult customs inspector, comes aboard and makes his life even more difficult, although she may have some redeeming qualities.
 
14 Mar. 1981
The Duel/Two for Julie/Aunt Hilly
A woman (Linda Cristal), tired of her fiancé (Alejandro Rey)'s wandering eye, makes time with Dr. Bricker (Bernie Kopell); two men (Dack Rambo and Ken Kercheval), who constantly compete against each other, vie for Julie (Lauren Tewes)'s attention; Capt. Stubing's (Gavin MacLeod) Aunt Hilly (Olivia de Havilland) comes aboard for a visit and decides the ship isn't the proper place for a young lady like Vicki (Jill Whelan).
 
11 Apr. 1981
Vicki and the Gambler/Love with a Skinny Stranger/That Old Gang of Mine
Captain Stubing's (Gavin MacLeod) friend (Gene Barry) is a gambler, who becomes a bad influence on Vicki (Jill Whelan); a man (Charles Siebert), who lost a lot of weight, and his fiancée (Vicki Lawrence) come aboard; old-time members of a gang (Jesse White, Kaye Ballard and Jack Gilford) reunite to rob the ship's vault.
 
2 May 1981
A Model Marriage/This Year's Model/Original Sin/Vogue Rogue/Too Clothes for Comfort: Part 1
On a cruise to Acapulco for a fashion show, real-life fashion designers Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie and Gloria Vanderbilt all appear as themselves. Romantic problems plague the husband-and-wife owners (Anne Baxter and McLean Stevenson) of a modeling agency. A cosmetics mogul (Robert Vaughn) seeks a unique woman to represent his new product, and finds two equally likely candidates (Morgan Brittany and Camilla Sparv). Julie (Lauren Tewes) steps into the spotlight, when she substitutes for her model friend (Cristina Ferrare), who has fallen in love. A couple (Richard Gilliland and Debra Clinger) frantically try to locate some designer clothes that they've misplaced, while simultaneously attempting to hide their marriage from her ...
 
9 May 1981
Maid for Each Other/Lost and Found/Then There Were Two
Gopher's (Fred Grandy) aunt (Jane Powell), who Gopher doesn't know is a maid, comes aboard with her employer (Mary Wickes) and falls in love with a fellow passenger (Howard Keel); a playboy (Joe Namath) uses an old girlfriend (Karen Grassle) in a scheme on his best friend (Fred Willard); a baby boy is reluctantly abandoned by his father (Gary Burghoff), who is a ship's mechanic, and finds a sympathetic listener in a passenger (Belinda Montgomery), who is an old high school friend.
 
16 May 1981
Tony and Julie/Separate Beds/America's Sweetheart
Julie (Lauren Tewes) has a run-in with a zoologist (Anthony Andrews), who turns out to be a passenger, and they butt heads. A young actress (Alison Arngrim) comes aboard and makes a fool out of Vicki (Jill Whelan). An estranged husband (William Christopher) and wife (Toni Tennille), one of whom is a neat-freak (Christopher) and the other a slob (Tennille), find themselves not only on the ship but in the same cabin.
 
10 Oct. 1981
The Expedition/Julie's Wedding/The Mongala/Julie's Replacement/The Three R's/The Professor's Wife: Part 1
Julie (Lauren Tewes) prepares to marry her fiancé Tony Selkirk (Anthony Andrews) during a stopover in Sydney, Australia. She asks Vicki (Jill Whelan) to be her bridesmaid; Doc (Bernie Kopell), Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Isaac (Ted Lange) to be her ushers; and Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) to give her away. Award-winning anthropologist Milo Endler (Harry Morgan) and Vivian (Katherine Helmond), his wife of fifteen years, are on their way to a dig in the South Pacific. Milo's disgraced colleague Deke Donner (José Ferrer) once embezzled a university's money to bet on the horses at the racetrack. In the South Pacific, Deke plans to present Milo with what could be the find of the century: a ...
 
10 Oct. 1981
The Expedition/Julie's Wedding/The Mongala/Julie's Replacement/The Three R's/The Professor's Wife: Part 2
Vicki (Jill Whelan) models the bridesmaid's gown she plans to wear for Julie's (Lauren Tewes) wedding, while Isaac (Ted Lange) finds a flaw in the wedding gift that he bought on the crew's behalf. Barbara (Michelle Phillips) feels jealous of Connie (Jenilee Harrison) and Ralph's (Patrick Duffy) relationship and sends him a love letter, which Connie intercepts. Having been captured by Deke (José Ferrer) and Milo (Harry Morgan), the Mongala (Patrick Ward) is caged below in the hull of the ship. When Milo finds out some new information about the Mongala, Vivian (Katherine Helmond) issues an ultimatum. Gopher (Fred Grandy) and Doc (Bernie Kopell) continue their pursuit of Julie's replacement, Yvonne (Delvene Delaney). While the crew ...
 
17 Oct. 1981
Two Grapes on the Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce
The Virgin Islands serve as a backdrop for the Grand Prix Wine-Tasting Competition, whose winner receives a $25,000 prize. Judge Alan Curtis (Robert Guillaume) starts a shipboard fling with Marion Blake (Leslie Uggams), without getting to know her well. Julie's Aunt Sylvia Duvall (Carol Channing) is on the cruise with her friend, Betsy Boucher (Betty White). Their scheme is for Betsy to meet the wine competition's sponsor Elliott Banning (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.), marry him, and become a wealthy bride. But their efforts may be in jeopardy due to Sylvia's well-intentioned bumbling. Also among the judges is snobbish judge Vincent Van Durling (Lee Bergere),...
 
24 Oct. 1981
The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim
A guy (Brian Kerwin) whom Julie (Lauren Tewes) booked to entertain the passengers, is a male stripper. He's also a teacher and runs into the head of the PTA (Christopher Norris)) and tries to keep her from seeing him perform. A guy (Flip Wilson), whose wife (Marla Gibbs) just divorced him, comes on board and is suicidal. Isaac (Ted Lange) tries to help by calling his wife but she refuses to talk to him. So Isaac tries to set him up with some girls but then his ex-wife shows up. And the Captain (Gavin MacLeod) recognizes one of the passengers as a known jewel thief (Michael Zaslow). And when another passenger's (Henny Backus) diamond pendant is stolen, the Captain suspects him.
 
31 Oct. 1981
Country Blues/Daddy's Little Girl/Jackpot
Gopher (Fred Grandy) finds some money and fantasizes how he'll spend it; a country singer (Florence Henderson) meets an old friend (James Noble), who's now a politician and traveling with a female companion (Carol Lawrence); a father (Mason Adams) and daughter (Randi Oakes) come aboard and she meets a veterinarian (Frank Bonner).
 
7 Nov. 1981
Chef's Special/Beginning Anew/Kleinschmidt
The head chef (Jay Johnson) is jealous of a new rival chef (Leslie Easterbrook) in the kitchen; a bumbling detective (Bernie Kopell in a dual role) is assigned to protect a client's (Trisha Noble) jewels; two friends (Joan Fontaine and Richard Basehart) reunite.
 
14 Nov. 1981
The Lady from Laramie/Vicki Swings/Phantom Bride
An earthy woman (Nancy Dussault) comes between a socialite (Marti Stevens) and her escort (Cesare Danova); psychic researchers (Juliet Mills and Buddy Hackett) search for a ghost aboard the ship; Vicki (Jill Whelan) meets an older boy (Patrick Labyorteaux) traveling alone.
 
21 Nov. 1981
Farnsworth's Fling/Three in a Bed/I Remember Helen/Merrill, Melanie & Melanesia/Gopher Farnsworth Smith: Part 1
The crew is in Australia to work on one of the cruise line's ships based there. And a wealthy man named Farnsworth (Lloyd Bridges) has decided to invite his whole family for a reunion. But, in actuality, he wants to see who, among them, he should keep in his will. And among them is his niece, Marcia (Jessica Walters), who is not exactly fond of him, because she believes that, because of him, her father became penniless. And she brings along a friend, Jessica (Linda Evans), who has a knack of getting wealthy men to marry her, for the purpose of getting him to marry her, so that she could get what Marcia ...
 
21 Nov. 1981
Farnsworth's Fling/Three in a Bed/I Remember Helen/Merrill, Melanie & Melanesia/Gopher Farnsworth Smith: Part 2
After having spent time with his family, William Farnsworth (Lloyd Bridges) has finally decided who will be kept in his will.
 
28 Nov. 1981
Love, Honor, and Obey/Gladys and Agnes/Radioactive Isaac
A couple (Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara) plan to renew their marriage vows aboard the ship; a tooth filling interferes with Isaac's (Ted Lange) romantic pursuits with his girlfriend (Berlinda Tolbert) and he also has a rival from a male passenger (Darrow Igus); two sisters (Audra Lindley and Marion Ross) take the cruise together and one sister (Lindley) develops a relationship with another passenger (Bernard Fox).
 
5 Dec. 1981
He's My Brother/Zeke and Zelda/Teach Me Tonight
Two stowaways (Milton Berle and Martha Raye) pretend to be another couple and they start charging things, not knowing that the crew members, who approve of the charges, will have to pay for items they charge but don't pay for. A woman (Susan Richardson) meets the author (Daryl Anderson) of a book she's reading. And Doc's (Bernie Kopell) brother (Jack Bannon) and sister-in-law (Elaine Joyce) come aboard and his brother has a lot of pent-up resentment against him.
 
12 Dec. 1981
Take a Letter, Vicki/The Floating Bridge Game/The Joy of Celibacy
Vicki (Jill Whelan) feels unneeded on the ship and begs Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) to give her a job, so he "hires" her as his personal secretary. But she gets carried away with enthusiasm and prompts the crew to make her workload a little less enjoyable. Three members (Rose Marie, Jan Clayton and Lucille Benson) of a floating bridge game get annoyed when their new fourth member, Shirley Simpson (Nanette Fabray), meets dentist Frank Leonhardt (Robert Alda) on the cruise and decides she would rather get to know him better than play bridge. Emotionally cold Linda Trent (Carlene Watkins) turns down all possible male suitors in no uncertain terms. So fellow ...
 

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Episode Cast | Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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