Former stowaway April Lopez (Charo) returns, this time as a lounge singer; a woman (Anne Meara) brings her kids on her second honeymoon, to the consternation of her husband (Jerry Stiller); a WW II veteran (Craig Stevens) and a USO entertainer (Cyd Charisse) reunite, after 35 years.
Julie envies her friend Tina, who gave up a career for marriage. Mike annoys his girlfriend Robin with constant talk about love's stages. A romance between seniors Nora and Phillip is disrupted by her flighty daughter and his stuffy valet.
Uptight IRS agent Viola Penny audits Stubing, who tries to get her to loosen up. A tabloid reporter trails a female celebrity because he thinks she's meeting a secret lover. A honeymooner discovers her ex is on the ship and wants her back.
A singer cancels and Julie (Lauren Tewes) tries to find another. So when Doc (Bernie Kopell) and Isaac (Ted Lange) overhear Gopher (Fred Grandy) singing in the shower, they persuade Julie to recruit Gopher as the replacement. Sisters Joan Horner (Joanna Cassidy) and Olivia Brinkley (Jaye P. Morgan) take a cruise together once a year and are joined this time by Joan's stuffy husband, Byron (Conrad Janis). Widow Janet Latham (Martha Scott) receives a surprise from her florist Henry Dobson (Don Ameche), who has been delivering a rose each day, in her husband's name, since he died.
A shoe salesman (Don Knotts), who strongly resembles a famous TV star, initially tries to deny it until an attractive woman (Julie Newmar) hits on him; a woman (Jane Wyatt), who was separated from her husband (Jean-Pierre Aumont) in WW II, hopes to reunite with him; Isaac (Ted Lange) decides to become a writer but can't decide on what kind of genre to write.
A woman with a stepmother and two stepsisters gets a chance to shine thanks to Gopher. A sportscaster woman gets surprised by her sexist TV partner and challenges him to a contest. A man with his handicapped brother meets a beautiful woman.
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are among those on board for a charity cruise to benefit an orphanage. Show business legend Stella Logan (Ginger Rogers) rebuffs her ex-fiancé Elliott Norman (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.), a tough theatre critic who has written a play for her and wants her to critique it but is afraid she'll reject it, due to his past treatment of her when they broke up. Divorcing Lou and Nora Hayman (Larry Linville and Gunilla Hutton) plot to steal fifty thousand dollars in gems that are hidden in a lamp, which is making the rounds of the crew members. Helen Ames (Dina Merrill) thinks that her daughter Wendy (Gaye Carter), a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, is trying to ...
The guys deceive Julie in elaborate fashion to plan her birthday surprise. Rich adulterer Bart uses his assistant Wally to cover for him. Olympic hopeful Penny Barrett would rather hang with a male teenager than practice in the gym.
Doc's friend Lucy's boyfriend Peter fakes an illness to avoid marrying her. Stubing hopes to reunite with ex-flame Eleanor, and recruits Gopher to keep teenage lovers Terry and Monica apart and appease a cruise line VIP.
A professor's assistant is in love with him but he hasn't a clue; a pro football player has to accept the fact he can't play any longer; a woman comes on board determined to marry the first man who says yes.
Gopher dates passenger Claire Dalrymple, who tells him she's separated. Carol Hanson tries to pry her ex-husband Chet away from his girlfriend Kim by rooming next door. Ex-boxers Ed Taylor and Jack McTigue renew their decades-old rivalry.
Bricker discovers he is still married to one of his ex-wives; a financially troubled couple find an envelope filled with cash; A boy is excited about the cruise until his teacher comes on board and romances his mother