Stories include: a reprobate steward (Bob Crane), cute honeymooners (Kathy Bates, John Rubinstein), and a financially strapped supermarket cashier (Bruce Solomon) posing as a wealthy, advertising executive.
Isaac's mom and her male companion share a cabin. Julie books divorced entertainers Lenny and Mitzy, who can't get along together. Gopher hides a thieving chimpanzee that brings him in contact with a nose job patient.
Rick imperils his girlfriend Suzy's chances of winning a beauty contest. Reporter Robin tries to write a story on scandal-tainted Congressman Whitcomb. Stephanie balks at fellow passenger Virgil's boisterous behavior.
Stubing's clumsy nephew comes on board to be trained to work on ships, but has a secret. Thief Bill hooks up with female passenger Stephanie, who's a cop. Rose Higby feels neglected when her sister Noreen meets a male passenger.
Melanie is popular with men while her friend Jane is ignored. Brian Sherwood spends a lot of time with a younger woman. The staff try to figure out which passenger is the Cruise Lines inspector. A Russian man repeats the same phrase.
Passenger Lily is haunted by an amnesia victim. Computer-dating service manager Nick woos Julie and offers his matchmaking services for Valentine's Day. Americans Brigitte and Yvonne pretend to be French in order to get men and gifts.
Young man Bruce's (Mark Shera) parents (Monty Hall and Janis Paige) are determined to have him date other women on the cruise and not settle on marrying "Ginger", who is not on board. So, Bruce and a fellow passenger (Laurie Prange) get together. A man (Leslie Nielsen) is having second thoughts, about age differences, in marrying a woman (Lynda Day George) who is 21 years younger. A new nurse (Elaine Joyce), on staff for the cruise, is a pretty ex-showgirl. Of course, Doc (Bernie Kopell) is hitting on her, and is a bit frustrated, when she does not return his advances.
An Asian businessman pushes his associate to loosen up a woman whose business he wants to buy. Rebellious Vanessa goads Gopher into standing up to bossy Stubing. Andrea wonders where she's going in her relationship with a married man.
Isaac (Ted Lange) is on vacation and decides to go on the cruise, as a passenger. He acts like a jerk and hooks up with another passenger (Lola Falana) and doesn't tell her what he does. Among the other passengers is a woman (Donna Mills), searching for her birth mother, who is also on the cruise, and she wants to go see her but is too afraid to. She meets another passenger (David Birney) and they hit it off. A rich girl (Barbi Benton), who just got dumped at the altar, is very mean and Doc (Bernie Kopell) sets out to help her. A couple (Edie Adams and Avery Schreiber) who are in a rut and are considering separating. An old woman (Audra Lindley), who is not all there. ...
Conclusion. The captain (Gavin MacLeod) and his marooned group struggle to survive on the island during a hurricane; the woman (Donna Mills) looking for her birth mother (Laraine Day) makes a startling discovery; and Isaacs (Ted Lange) tries to save the ship from the storm, while trying to regain Mara (Lola Falana)'s trust.
A womanizer (David Doyle) hits on three women (Jo Ann Pflug, Brett Somers, Cathryn Damon) and they're all taken with him. But, what he doesn't know, is that they're friends and traveling together. The Captain's (Gavin MacLeod) godson (Grant Goodeve) brings his wife (Bess Armstrong) on the cruise for a belated honeymoon, because he was called to military service and was away for two years. Two brothers (Sonny Bono and Marty Ingels) come on board to sue the cruise line, by having one of them fake an injury. The crew suspects he's faking but, unless they can get him to stand up, they're at the brothers' mercy. And, the one pretending to be injured (Bono), is attracted to a ...
A shy guy (Billy Crystal) dons a mask and goes around kissing every girl on the ship. Then, he meets a girl (Laurie Walters) with whom he connects. A couple (Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.), who are Isaac's (Ted Lange) friends and with whom they performed on the streets in their youth, are now successful and rich and have a young son (Todd Bridges). But, his father spends more time on work than with his son. And, a woman (Toni Tennille) follows a man (Robert Reed), whom she knows witnessed what happened to someone she cares about and urges him to come forward and tell what he saw.
Widow Ellen Garner is followed by her husband Mickey's ghost who tries to fix her up. Divorced Les and Gail see their daughter and her husband off but get locked in an unused cabin. Gopher's sister Jennifer makes a beeline for Doc.
Reverend Whitney's blind date faces scorn from parishioner Barbara Sharp. Bert Wilder helps his wife Audrey deal with being blind. Princess engineer Tony's vacation plans change, so Julie and Gopher invite his family on a free cruise.
Two buddies (Richard Gilliland and Adam Arkin) make a bet - for a pizza - to see who can get a date with Julie (Lauren Tewes). A man (Orson Bean) hopes to have a romantic relationship with his matinée idol crush (Rhonda Fleming), but he is intimidated by her fame and they seem to have repeated bad timing. A young man (Edward Albert) brings his parents on board for their 25th wedding anniversary and he runs into a girl (Patty McCormack) from home, to whom he is attracted. The problem is that his parents (Billy Barty and Patty Maloney) are little people and the young woman inadvertently reveals that little people make her uncomfortable.