A guy whom Julie booked to entertain the passengers, is a male stripper. He's also a teacher and runs into the head of the PTA and tries to keep her from seeing him perform. A guy whose wife just left comes on board and is suicidal. Isaac tries to help by calling his wife but she refuses to talk to him. So Isaac tries to set him up with some girls but his wife shows up. And the Captain recognizes one of the passengers as a known jewel thief. And when someone's jewels are stolen the Captain suspects him.
Gopher finds money and fantasizes how he'll spend it; a folk singer (Florence Henderson) meets old friend (James Noble), who's now a politician; father (Mason Adams) and daughter (Randi Oakes) come aboard and she meets vet (Frank Bonner).
The chef (Jay Johnson) is jealous of a new rival in the kitchen (Leslie Easterbrook); a bumbling detective (Bernie Kopell in a dual role) is assigned to protect a client's jewels; two friends (Joan Fontaine and Richard Basehart) reunite.
An earthy woman (Nancy Dussault) comes between a socialite (Marti Stevens) and her escort (Cesare Danova); psychic researchers (Juliet Mills, Buddy Hackett) search for a ghost on board; Vicki meets an older boy traveling alone.
The crew is in Australia to work on one of the cruise lines ships based there. And a wealthy man named Fransworth has decided to invite his whole family for a reunion. But in actuality he wants to see who among them he should keep in his will. And among the them is his niece, Marcia who is not exactly fond of him because she believes that because of him her father became penniless. And she brings along a friend, Jessica, who has a knack of getting wealthy men to marry her. And he asks his niece, Jenny and her husband, Bud to come but they're divorced so they have to ...
A couple (Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara) plan to renew their vows; a tooth filling interferes with Gopher's romantic pursuits with his girl (Belinda Tolbert); two sisters (Audra Lindley, Marion Ross) take the cruise together.
Two stowaways pretend to be another couple, and they start charging things not knowing that the crew members who approve them will have to pay for what they charge. A woman meets the author of a book she's reading. And Doc's brother comes on board and has a lot of pent up resentment for him.
Doc arrives back from holidays and introduces his new wife of a couple of hours to the crew. Don Adams is a Safety Investigator on holidays but finds danger around every corner on board the ship. The president of a financial group comes aboard to talk his female VP out of resigning due to untrue rumors about them having an affair.
Two passengers meet during the boarding and although attracted to one another, they find they live at the same address and the lady has a rule about dating someone who lives in her own apartment building. The Captain is to greet a famous female artist aboard who has been commissioned by the ship line to paint his portrait. A romance begins and the artist decides to paint an unconventional portrait of the captain, naked, and from memory. When a couple on their honeymoon board, an older passenger vaguely recognizes the younger man's face, but can't recall where he knows...
Gopher thinks he knows a female passenger but just can't remember from where. And when she reveals how they know each other shocks him. And a man who feigned being mentally ill so that he could get his full pension is being followed by a woman who tasked with proving he's faking. And a concert pianist who has stopped playing because he has arthritis is being pestered by some fans to play. Initially he refuses but upon meeting one of the ship's staff who needs an operation, he offers to play.
A fellow (Bert Convy) thinks he was married to a woman in a past life (Tanya Roberts); Julie decides to change her hairstyle; a H.S. coach (John Philip Law) is attracted to a woman (Lynda Day George) w/a hyperactive son (Corey Feldman).
And old flame of the Captain's returns for a cruise. As the captain prepares to propose, Doc and Isaac find news which will cause the Captain some distress. Two business partners and their secretary join the cruise to celebrate winning a large contract. One partner is not as honest as he seems and tries to use his secretary's love for him to cover his under-handed tricks. In an attempt to get attention from a woman he cares for, a passenger reports that he's been sexually attacked by an unknown female passenger in a darkened hall closet.
A businessman takes his prissy secretary on a business trip. When he meets a dizzy blonde, his problem is how does he get his secretary to quit, so he can hire the blonde. Wilfred offers the crew $10,000 if they can find him a pretty wife. He's soon surrounded by five beautiful women, all fighting for his attention, and the crew trying to win a quick ten grand. Two childhood sweethearts separated since school meet up on the cruise. How does the girl tell her old boyfriend that she now lives with a back brace due to a spine disease.
A nurse comes on board to give the crew their company physical but Isaac tries to avoid her cause there's a congenital condition in his family that he fears could jeopardize his job. And the nurse is attracted to him also. A young woman who's dating an older man brings her mother to meet him. And when she does, she discovers that he's her old boyfriend. And Julie's cousin comes on board with his girlfriend and tells her he wants to dump her because she's "nice"; "very nice".
A publisher (Jared Martin), trying to sign up a famous author (Alan Hale Jr.), becomes involved w/the author's niece (Georgia Engel); 2 passengers (Joanna Pettet and Paul Williams) hunt for treasure; Vicki's friend (Rad Daly) comes aboard.
A doctor (Ben Vereen) is uncomfortable when his companion (Denise Nicholas) is too friendly with his ex-lover (Lynne Moody); Gopher pines after his H.S. teacher (Susan Strasberg); father (Lloyd Bochner) and son (Kevin Brophy) pick up girls.
This story follows a dress and how it affects three people. First a model who's trying out a new diet program, who is suppose to wear it to show how much weight she lost and it's been designed to fit her after losing the weight. She's starving and she meets a guy who unknown to her is the former partner of the doctor whose diet she's following. He gets her to try his program which has her eating candy bars among other things. And a woman who sells flowers on the dock, freaks out because the daughter she hasn't seen for 20 years comes on board to see her. She tells the...
When a man comes on board with his new (young) wife, Gopher knows the man is rich and he and Isaac wonder if she married him for his money. And they suspect she could be trying to get rid of him so she can have it. A woman takes her son whom he sees very little of with her to try to reconnect but when he sees her diary, he just wants to get away from her. A woman comes on board to meet her pen pal. A guy Julie knows is taken with her and when she refuses his invitation because she wants to meet her pen pal, he decides to pretend to be her pen pal when he learns that ...