Three Army buddies reunite with their former sergeant Harry Beluski, who talks of nothing but the Army. When they tire of listening to him reminisce about the old days, they introduce him to an attractive widow named Rose who works on the cruise line as a steward. Gopher poses as Julie's lover to fend off the unwanted advances of his abrasive former fraternity brother Rick Martin, but then a real spark appears between them. Single Gwen Hutchins romances fellow passenger Dennis Grant but fears that he won't react well when he hears that she is pregnant.
On a cruise where a number of engaged couples will be married, a man bails on his fiancée and expects his friend to break the news. The parents of a young engaged couple try to stop their impending marriage. A contest promoter considers taking a bribe. Julie reconnects with a man she met on a previous cruise to Alaska. Gopher is upset about having to be a judge of a contest, until he meets the other two judges.
Vicky develops a strong attachment to Mrs. Evans and sees her as a surrogate mother; Mr. McCann is due to be married but can't say the words. "I do"; Emily's estranged fiancé comes back; Doc send Gopher on a wild goose chase to get him away from the judges and he ends up in jail.
Air Force Major Ross Latham, his passive wife Nara, and an aggressive old girl friend are on a cruise at the same time. Two brothers share the honeymoon suite. Texas oil magnate Mason Fleers takes the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders aboard to impress several of his clients, including Mideastern Prince Hasssan who thinks that one of the cheerleaders is a permanent gift for him.
A woman claims Julie is trying to steal her fiancé; several passengers have come on board after receiving free passage only to discover there is a price to pay after all; a woman tires of her husband's boorish treatment of her and takes up with Doc; a man is being pursued by a mysterious woman.
A famous movie star disguises herself as her own secretary in order to enjoy some privacy. Julie contemplates marrying a wealthy bachelor, who is entering the steeplechase. Isaac and Gopher sneak a horse on board to enter the upcoming race. Paul Willis lies to his wife about the reason for their cruise, leading her to seek company elsewhere.
Two sets of parents (Terry Moore and Troy Donahue and Farley Granger and Joan Lorring) try to get their children, together. The children (Lorenzo Lamas and Melissa Sue Anderson) are fed with them pushing them together, that they decide to do something about it. But, it blows up in their faces. A single mother (Susan Howard) looking for a guy, will only date someone whom her baby likes. And Isaac's aunt and uncle (Isabel Sanford and Mel Stewart) come on board and her aunt, who fancies herself an actress, performs and Isaac asks them to praise her and, in doing so, she decides to pursue it, which means she will leave her husband.
A kleptomaniac meets a psychiatrist who tries to help her but when they fall for each other, the psychiatrist keeps his distance. A television star comes on board and Vicki who adores him expects him to be like his character but is not. And the Captain's brother comes on the cruise to introduce the woman he is going to marry to the Captain. But a woman whom he was involved with follows and tries to woo him back to her and he finds it hard to resist her.
A woman (Sue Ane Langdon), whom Capt. Stubing knows, comes on board with her husband (Monte Markham) but is feeling neglected, so she turns to him. A woman (Pamela Sue Martin), who wants to keep guys from hitting on her, puts on a wedding ring. And a scientist (Tom Smothers) thinks a woman (Helen Reddy) is an alien and convinces Gopher of it and freaks out.
Young stowaway Scotty convinces the crew members that playboy passenger Jeff Dalton is his father. Gopher and Isaac have several mishaps with the parrot that Captain Stubing buys Vickie for a Christmas present. Father and son singers Bobby Braddock Senior and Junior, who haven't spoken to each other for years since the son began a solo career, resist their wives' efforts to reunite them.
Carl and Violet Hooper's 40th anniversary cruise goes sour after he learns that her investments have been so successful that he could have retired from his job years earlier. Sally Walker endeavors to attract her neglectful husband Hank's attention by claiming that Doc made a pass at her during an examination. A man sneaks on the cruise because he doesn't believe that his girlfriend's travel partner is her brother; he then convinces a neighboring passenger to let him stay in her cabin by claiming to be with the CIA.
A woman, who believes she is cursed and will prematurely die, is determined to find her husband a new mate; Isaac is afraid of running into his old teacher; a seal tries to prevent its trainer (Donald O'Connor) from meeting other women.
A young woman falls in love without knowing that her health is in danger. April becomes a nanny to TV sportscaster Ty Younger's kids. A loan shark sends one of his men to collect a debt, but complications arise.
Gopher is initially worried about meeting his Canadian pen pal (Marie Laurin) but then thinks he's in love; a woman (Trish Stewart) discovers she is supposed to share her cabin with a man (Patrick Wayne) and, after throwing him out, he tries to find a place to stay; a man (Paul Burke), married to a workaholic (Dana Wynter), meets a widow (Susan Oliver), who's willing to take his wife's place.
Doc Bricker is excited to meet his old medical school chum (Jim McKrell), but when the old friend has to skip the trip, he asks Doc to look after his wife (Jill St. John) and the wife is very interested in getting to know Doc better; a very ordinary-looking guy (Ron Palillo) is actually the world's greatest lover; and a woman (Dorian Lopinto) either has a twin or a secret past.
Isaac courts a talent scout with his singing skills. A former All-American football player has a romance with Julie. Glenn Dobson's wife forces him to take the cruise in order to help him conquer his fear of water.
Charo returns as April Lopez. Television sportscaster Ty Younger and his new fiancée can't leave his children and their "ninny" April behind them when they set sail. A college football player develops a crush on his friend's mother. A college friend of Gopher's tries to be one thing for the boss and another for the boss' daughter, all the while not realizing they are father and daughter.
A man (Dick Martin) in the middle of a divorce traveling with his mistress is convinced his wife is spying on him; a blind woman (Leslie Uggams) fends off a would-be suitor; nudist sunbather causes problems for the crew, especially Gopher.
Isaac's uncle (Demond Wilson), who has not exactly been an upstanding guy, comes on board. And, a government agent (Robert Ginty) tells the Captain that he is following Isaac's uncle, who he thinks is involved in something that's not exactly legal. A member of the crew (Larry Breeding) is attracted to a passenger (Kyle Aletter) but her mother (Lee Meriwether, Kyle Aletter's real-life mother) is hoping that her daughter can snag a wealthy man. So, he borrows another passenger (Steve Doubet)'s clothes and pretends to be a man of means. And a guy from Doc's hometown ('Randy Powell'), whom he helped send to medical school so that their hometown ...
Julie's friend sails with her fiancé only to discover her other fiancé is on board as well and has to spend the trip juggling them both; a man traveling with his elderly mother has trouble meeting a women whom his mother would approve; Gopher's personal nemesis, a difficult custom's inspector, comes aboard and makes his life even more difficult, although she may have some redeeming qualities.
A woman (Linda Cristal), tired of her fiancé (Alejandro Rey)'s wandering eye, makes time with Dr. Bricker; two men (Dack Rambo and Ken Kercheval), who constantly compete against each other, vie for Julie's attention; Capt. Stubing's Aunt Hilly (Olivia de Havilland) comes aboard for a visit and decides the ship isn't the proper place for a young lady like Vicki.
On a cruise to Acapulco for a fashion show, real-life fashion designers Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie, and Gloria Vanderbilt all appear as themselves. Romantic problems plague the husband-and-wife owners of a modeling agency. A cosmetics mogul seeks a unique woman to represent his new product, and finds two equally likely candidates. Julie steps into the spotlight when she substitutes for a model friend who has fallen in love. A couple frantically try to locate some designer clothes that they've misplaced while simultaneously attempting to hide their marriage ...
Julie has a run in with a guy who turns out to be a passenger and they butt heads. A young actress comes on board and makes a fool of Vicki. And an estranged husband and wife,one of whom is neat freak and the other a slob find themselves not only on the ship but in the same cabin.