The Captain's ex-wife who is now married to one of the cruise lines executives comes on board and is walking all over him and he's letting her. A woman who's engaged to a politician upon learning that a nude photo she had taken years ago is coming out in a magazine tries to make sure he doesn't see it. And a woman who wants to get married but her boyfriend who just wants things to stay as they are follows her wherever the ships docks.
When the girlfriend of a guy named Dale who's materialistic decides to go on the cruise with a guy she just met, who drives an expensive car. He tries to get on the cruise but the only available slot can only given to a woman. So he dons a dress and pretends to be a woman named Dale. He shares the cabin with a woman who's just been dumped at the altar. A couple who are constantly bickering find themselves stuck in a elevator. A married woman who decides she needs sometime apart from her husband so she goes on the cruise alone. What she doesn't know is that her husband...
Ruth Gordon is the meddling grandmother to exasperated Patty Duke Astin and she is determined to marry off her granddaughter and quickly. Am old and forgotten comedian asks a favor of crew director Julie to put him in the show as a favor to her dad who he assisted once. Four college buddies are on deck and they are kidding and placing bets as to whether the one who is a virgin will be able to change his status before the ship docks back in San Pedro.
Ellen and Helen are identical twins with only one ticket so they've planned it out courtesy of an alarm wrist watch so that only one of them is out of the room. This causes confounding and perplexing situations for Doc as Helen comes on to him while her twin spurns him creating some hilarious scenes. Julie's old heartthrob is on the cruise by himself and as charming as she remembered but he was married at the time. And a delightful old couple who were married and survived their cruise on the Titanic are thought to be a jinx according to the old wive's tale as told by ...
An young boy pays for his cruise with his paper route money and neglects to tell his parents at home he's booked his ticket and is on board. A wife cannot release the pain of their eight-year-old son's death. Julie is training a pretty, vivacious cruise director trainee who will stop at nothing to get Julie's job. Who can and will stop her?
When the Captain's father comes on board, he drives his son nuts that he asks the crew to run interference. He then meets one of the crew's staff and takes a liking to her. A passenger finds himself trapped in is cabin when an attack dog comes on board and gets in his cabin and won't let him out. And three women who were friends decide to play a game wherein they get a guy to say a word and if he says it they should hook up with that guy. And one of them, gets the ship's repairman to say it.
Will Geer is pitch perfect as the irascible old gentleman who finds a fifteen-year-old girl who is a stowaway in his bathroom. There is lots of banter between he and the scamp Bayn Johnson. One of Julie's brother's friends, is looked at with interest by Julie, no longer a young scamp herself with braces. His cabin mate is an older Lothario urging him to put the moves on Julie. Julie arranges two "professional" painters to paint the Captain's suite to his favorite longed-for color Singapor Sunset Saffron. to.
While Isaac's girlfriend comes on board to spend sometime with him so does his mother. And he's shocked to see that she's traveling with someone and doesn't approve. And Julie books a divorced couple of entertainers who can't get along but have to when Julie tells them that one of them will have to pay their passage if they don't perform. And Gopher brings on board a chimpanzee who goes around pilfering things but brings him in contact with a girl who just had a nose job and is hesitant to remove the bandage.
A husband and wife as a famous Hollywood couple arrive with paparazzi. She is adorned in a famous gigantic diamond which, of course, entices a dim-witted bumbling crooks in a delightful caper reminiscent of old Hollywood. A husband is chagrined into bringing his wife on the cruise when he finds the tickets for his mistress and himself with some unexpected surprises. A masquerade night moves the plots right along.
Stubing's nephew comes on board to be trained to work on ships like everyone in their family but doesn't exactly do a good job at whatever he is told to do. Eventually he reveals a secret to the crew that he can't tell Stubing. A man who stole a million dollars hooks up with a female passenger but when he reveals what he did she reveals that she's a cop and intends to turn him in when they return. Two sisters compete for the same man.
A young man's parents are determined to have him date other women on the cruise and not settle on marrying "Ginger" who is not on board. A man is having second thoughts about age differences in marrying a woman 21 years younger. A new nurse is on staff for the cruise who is a pretty ex-showgirl. Of course, Doc is hitting on her, and a bit frustrated when she does not return his advances.
A spunky reporter is aboard to write an expose of lust on the high seas. A man has one week to marry or lose his inheritance. A woman moves out of her chauvinist fiancé's cabin. A suburban widow impersonates a glamorous Hollywood socialite.
Gopher is fed up with Stubbing always ordering him around. He meets a girl who's a bit of a rebel and encourages him to stand up to Stubbing and it ends with Gopher getting fired. A businesswoman comes on board and also a man who wants to buy her company whom she is constantly turning him down. So he sends his associate who tries to charm her. He shows her an invention of his which his boss doesn't think is worth anything. And a guy who is married goes on the cruise with his girlfriend and she begins to wonder where are they going in their relationship.