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The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) Poster

Quotes

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?

Hotel Clerk: No.

Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.

[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]

Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!

Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

[after Clouseau accidentally reduces a piano to a pile of splinters]

Mrs. Leverlilly: You've ruined that piano!

Clouseau: What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here?

Mrs. Leverlilly: But that's a priceless Steinway!

Clouseau: Not anymore!

[Suddenly the American football game is interrupted just before the end by Charles Dreyfus' transmission]

The President: Call the FBI, the CIA and the Pentagon. Find out who won that game!

Clouseau: Now then, what do we know? One, that Professor Fassbinder and his daughter have been kidnapped. Two, that someone has kidnapped them. Three, that my hand is on fire.

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?

Clouseau: The exploding kind.

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[last lines]

Clouseau: Cato! You imbecile, not now Cato!

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[Refering to the aftermath of the Doomsday device]

Dreyfus: What do you suppose they will call the crater, huh? The Dreyfus Ditch?

Dr. Fassbender: There shall be no crater.

Dreyfus: No crater? But I want a crater! I want wreckage, twisted metal. Something the world will not forget!

Dr. Fassbender: They won't forget today.

Dreyfus: They won't? Wonderful. I have to tinkle again. Don't do anything till I get back.

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Clouseau: There is someone in this room who knows more about the murder than he is telling.

Mrs. Japonica: Murder?

Clouseau: What was that you said?

Mrs. Japonica: I said "murder".

Clouseau: What murder?

Mrs. Japonica: I-I-I don't know, y-you said "murder".

Clouseau: I said murder? *You* said murder!

Mrs. Japonica: No, I said murder because *You* said murder.

Clouseau: *I* said murder?

Mr. Shork: You said there is someone in this room who knows more about the murder than he is telling.

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Clouseau: [on the phone] Hello?... Yes. There is a beautiful woman in my bed, and a dead man in my bath.

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Clouseau: [after knocking Cato unconscious, goes to answer the phone] Relax. I'll get it.

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[Clouseau has dressed himself as a local doctor/dentist in order to gain access to the gothic castle that is Dreyfus' headquarters; he is now examining Dreyfus for a bad tooth, but accidentally puts his thumb in Dreyfus' eye instead]

Dreyfus: OW! My eye!

Clouseau: Your eye? I thought it was your tooth.

Dreyfus: Hmm? It IS my tooth!

Clouseau: I wish you'd make your mind up; I don't normally make castle-calls in the middle of the night yeu kneuw!

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[Clouseau is walking through a pitch-black room with a match in his hand; calling out]

Clouseau: Is there anybody hiding there in the dark?

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Clouseau: [chatting with Scotland Yard about sniffing out Dreyfus, who now has Europe's most infamous hitmen working for him] Of course it won't be easy; nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

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Clouseau: Good evening commissioner. How are you, how is madame and all the little Commissioners?

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Bar Patron: Something wrong, Ainsley?

Ainsley Jarvis: No of course not, Bruno. The Inspector here was just warning me that I had to watch my step. You see, back in France, he's known as King of the Tango.

Clouseau: [shocked] Tango?

Ainsley Jarvis: Oh, I'd love to.

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Clouseau: [after listening to Dreyfus singing "Over the Rainbow" at the insane asylum] I'm afraid today is just not your day, my friend.

Dreyfus: [quickly stands up] Oh, but it is! It is, my "friend" after three, long terrible years it is AT LAST my day! I will not permite, "repeat," not permit anything..."repeat" anything to spoil it. Now, I will walk you to the gate, to the car which should rightfully be mine. And then I will kiss you goodbye!

[kisses Clouseau's cheeks]

Dreyfus: And then I will have my meeting with the sanitary commision where I will set free! And then...

[gets hit in the head with an arrow and turns to Clouseau]

Dreyfus: I will kill you!

[starts choking him]

Clouseau: [running away] Francois! Start the car!

Dreyfus: [chasing close behind] KILL YOU! KILL YOU!

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Clouseau: You're the cook?

Mr. Shork: No, I'm the gardener!

Clouseau: Ah, now we're getting somewhere!

[points to the beekeeper]

Clouseau: You!

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Dreyfus: Every day and in every way, I am getting better, and better.

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Dreyfus: Now this is my plan. Step number one: I will recruit the world's greatest criminal mind. Step number two: I will build an organization so sinister, so powerful, that by comparison La Cosa Nostra will seem like the Vienna Boys' Choir!

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Clouseau: You have received a beump on the head.

Dreyfus: Beump?

Clouseau: What?

Dreyfus: You said beump.

Clouseau: Yes, I know that. It is a large beump. You could receive the concussion from such a beump.

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Clouseau: Allow me to assist you.

Dreyfus: No! I'm fine. Never better. Just a little... a little shaky. Probably the shock of... I mean, the surprise of seeing you here again today.

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Clouseau: Mark my words, François. Sinister forces are at work.

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Clouseau: Well now, I expect you're all wondering why I asked you here

[steps on Mrs. Japonica's foot. She screams]

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Clouseau: Look, there is no need for you to speak unless I ask you a question. What is your name?

Mr. Shork: I'm Shork, the gardener.

Clouseau: What is it you do?

Mr. Shork: I'm the gardener.

Clouseau: Then why didn't you say that to me in the first place?

Mr. Shork: I did.

Clouseau: Don't try to be funny with me, monsieur!

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Clouseau: This is a very serious matter, and everyone is this reum is under the suspicions.

Cook: Reum?

Clouseau: What was that?

Cook: You said 'reum'?

Clouseau: Yes, I know that!

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Clouseau: A beekeeper who has lost his voice, a cook who thinks he's a gardiner, and a witness to a murder. Oh, yes. It is obvious to my trained eye, that there is much more going on here than meets the ear.

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Margo Fassbender: What are you going to do?

Dreyfus: Something so very, very painful, so hideous, your father will have no choice but to cooperate.

[puts on a glove, with very sharp claws attached to the finger sockets, and walks to the blackboard]

Margo Fassbender: No!

[Dreyfus nods, and scrapes his clawed glove down the blackbird, making a hideous screeching noise]

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Dreyfus: Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Ignition!

[fires a laser which disintegrates the United Nations building]

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Dreyfus: Compared to Clouseau, this doomsday machine is just a water pistol.

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Clouseau: Tell me do you have a reum?

Hotel Clerk: I do not know what a 'reum' is.

Clouseau: [looks up the word 'room' in his German dictionary] Zimmer.

Hotel Clerk: Ah, a 'room'.

Clouseau: That is what I have been saying, you idiot. Reum. Zimmer.

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Clouseau: [disguised as Dr. Schirtz] Hello... It's Dr. Schirtz from the village, you know.

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Dreyfus: He has pulled the wrong tooth! There's only one man who would pull the wrong tooth. It's Clouseau! Kill him! Kill him!

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Olga Bariosova: Do you think you could fall in love with an ex-Russian agent?

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Clouseau: I was known as the Pavlova of the parallels. Oh, yes.

[starts swinging on the parallel bars]

Clouseau: Yes, it's all coming back now.

[sings]

Clouseau: Ah yes, I remember it...

[loses grip and falls down the stairs]

Clouseau: Aagh! Well, that felt good.

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Clouseau: Are you alright, former chief inspector?

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Quinlan: You'll need help.

Clouseau: I prefer to do this alone.

Quinlan: Yes, but if Dreyfus is what we suspect, he probably has an army behind him.

Clouseau: No, of course it won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

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Olga Bariosova: I gave Cato the night off.

Clouseau: But what has happened to my reum?

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Marty the Mugger: You have several of the world's greatest criminal minds right here, in this very room.

Bruce the Knife: Yeah, why don't we take care of it ourselves?

Dreyfus: Because you wouldn't stand a chance.

[Crims murmur disbelief]

Dreyfus: You don't know Clouseau.

Tournier (a.k.a. Tony the bank robber): He can't be that good.

Dreyfus: Good? Ha, he's not good, he's terrible; he's the worst. There's not another man like him anywhere in the world. Compared to Clouseau this doomsday machine, it's just a mere water pistol.

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[Exits a closet after mistaking it for the door out of the room]

Clouseau: Most ingenious. The old closet ploy. I really must congratulate you. If there's one thing I do enjoy, it's a good closet ploy.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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