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19 out of 19 people found the following comment useful :-
Imagination, dialog and a storyline in a porn film!, 12 February 2005
9/10
Author: paullee01 from United States

Try crossing My Fair Lady with Deep Throat and you'll end up with "The Opening of Misty Beethoven", a porn film with good production values, surprisingly decent acting, and a young, knockout female lead actress.

This film could never have been made today where all you see are numerous gynecological closeups with copious amounts of spewing bodily fluids. Instead you are treated to an imaginative film with a lot of laughs wrapped around enough sex to earn it's XXX rating.

Constance Money, worth seeing in this film by herself, plays the Eliza Doolittle role as the classless gum popping French street hooker (Misty Beethoven) who gives hand jobs in a dingy Paris movie theater. Jamie Gillis plays the Henry Higgins part as Dr Seymour Love, willing to take on Misty and turn her from this cheap trollop into a high class "Goldenrod Girl" with the help of Jacqueline Beaudant (a female Colonel Pickering?).

There are some very funny sequences on the adult airlines and in the training sequences which brought to mind the "Rocky" films. The sex is not of the grind house variety that you find in most XXX films but it is highly erotic, entertaining and with Ms. Money, surprisingly romantic. This is a jewel of an erotic film.

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17 out of 18 people found the following comment useful :-
Pornographic Pymaglion loved by Men and Women, 14 July 2005
10/10
Author: jghitchins from United States

This film could only have been made in the 70's during a very brief period in porn and the general population of the US when it was possible to make an erotic film of more than fake moans and money shots because porn actually for a brief few years had a potentially wide outlet both in terms of who would go see them and where they could be shown.

I'm a woman and I first saw it at the University of Minnesota where they were going to show it in a 1000 seat theatre one time for one night. (Try getting any porn onto a campus now.) They added two more showing to that night and then kept it around for a month or so with 3 shows on Fri and Sat. All the major papers in Mpls and St. Paul accepted ads back then for porn and X rated movies in addition to all the weeklies and student paper. Believe it or not but the reception of Deep Throat (a lousy movie IMHO) being so wide and broad it was made this possible. (Most major papers won't even accept an advert for a NC-17 movie nowadays.)

It was wonderful, the audience was made of both sexes, young and old and probably 60% couples and the film was loved. Women walked out smiling and hot. What I liked about it was the women actually looked liked they were having fun, and the sex was shot with the men actually satisfying women. (Go see Showgirls for a movie which in the major sex scene the actress looked like she was having a epileptic fit.) Additionally, there was always a tenderness exhibited during all "major" scenes which was unheard of before and after this period. For instance bodies got played with, there was cuddling after a few hour stand?? Revolutionary, toss in the humour and ending and well -- what more could you ask for.

But what was really wonderful was that so many of us women finally had an erotic movie that we could thoroughly enjoy on all levels just like the men. For the last 30 years I been telling everyone this was the best, the ultimate porn flick for everyone. Such a shame it's not one of a large group.

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14 out of 14 people found the following comment useful :-
quality porn movie with a touch of humor, 4 February 2003
6/10
Author: morton grimp

This movie is actually a porn MOVIE. I emphasize the word 'movie' since all recent porn "movies" aren't movies at all, just low quality sexual stimulants.

On a humorous level, it's quite good. It's set in an odd world where sex is everywhere. Planes have sex and non-sex sections, and oral sex is as common and often as drinking water, in fact, more so. There are people standing around with their pants down always ready to receive head, and sex-maids walking around for the soul purpose of giving head.

As the story goes, Misty Beethoven, a prostitute, has been chosen by a writer to become the next "goldenrod girl". He trains her to have sex with people, and to not be too disgusted with certain sexual acts. And well, no need to say that the whole movie is about her having sex with different people in different ways. But don't be fooled, The Opening of Misty Beethoven is very far from being your regular garbage porno.

It's an interesting idea, and it truly is a good movie. The cast is good, and the sex scenes aren't overly dramatic. The music is good as well. The film quality is not great, but after all it is from 1976 (and its a porn). If you are a fan of mainstream pornos, then this film is definitely not for you, it might be a little too good for your low standards. And this is because it's not so much about the sexual stimulation as it is about the story.

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10 out of 10 people found the following comment useful :-
If Jack Horner had made Pretty Woman, 1 December 2002
Author: drosse67 from Virginia

Jack Horner, Burt Reynolds' character in Boogie Nights, was determined to make "a real movie." This is probably what it would have looked like, right down to the mid '70s production quality and costumes. No one should be ashamed to admit they've watched it. It is a witty, intelligent comedy that just happens to be a porn film. Watch the exchange between Jamie Gillis and the flight attendant for proof of this. It's just as funny as anything in an early Woody Allen film. And the "swindle singing" that was featured prominently in Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid and Allen's Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Sex gets a real workout here. And dare I say that this is a really good "date flick," of course after you've been dating for a while. I remember this movie playing in Northern Virginia for 12 years, from 1976 or so to 1988. Had video stores not flourished in the late '80s, I would be willing to bet that it would still be playing. It definitely has staying power, and the dated quality of the film just adds to the appeal.

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7 out of 7 people found the following comment useful :-
My Fair Lady with a money shot, 10 June 1999
Author: matthew wilder (picqueur@aol.com) from los angeles

When the filmmaker in Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS waxes elegiac about what porn could have been--a porn movie that's a real movie--THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN is what he's talking about. Directed by Radley Metzger under the nom de guerre Henry Paris, this remake of "Pygmalion" has some wit, stylish production design, a story, rhythm, characters, and, if you can believe it, some not at all bad acting. Nothing else--not even Metzger/Paris' big-selling BARBARA BROADCAST--ever equaled it. See it, laugh, and mourn for what could have been.

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6 out of 6 people found the following comment useful :-
Blue Movie Gold, 24 June 2006
10/10
Author: Dries Vermeulen (dirtymoviedevotee@live.nl) from Brugge, Belgium

Here it is, the Holy Grail of adult cinema, the finest porn film ever made both by critical consensus as from a fan's point of view. Director Radley Metzger of course had a solid background in mainstream movie-making with tasteful titillation along the lines of CAMILLE 2000 and THERESE AND ISABELLE to his credit before taking the plunge into explicit territory with a mere five high class productions. SCORE and THE PUNISHMENT OF ANNE, both of which contain a little bit of hardcore footage, don't really count as they're borderline cases.

THE OPENING OF MISTY BEETHOVEN rests proudly in the middle of this fabulous five-some, following THE PRIVATE AFTERNOONS OF PAMELA MANN and NAKED CAME THE STRANGER yet preceding BARBARA BROADCAST and MARASCHINO CHERRY. It has charm, style, wit and grace, qualities not usually associated with pornography. Every aspect of production has been handled with the utmost care, from its sumptuous cinematography (as good as any seen in big studio movies from the same period) to its lively soundtrack by rock group Elephant's Memory. Unlike other well-produced adult fare though, this one also has all the scorching sex to cement its legendary reputation for generations to come. This is the kind of adult film that should sway even the most ardent of naysayers, unless the very thought of explicit eroticism repels them. It was made by and for intelligent people who can also appreciate a good dirty joke.

Borrowing its plot from Shaw's PYGMALION, MISTY finds noted sexologist Dr Seymour Love (porn's bad boy Jamie Gillis cast against type and delivering a career performance) cruising the streets of Paris and running into a coarse streetwalker by name of Misty – formerly Dolores – Beethoven, played to perfection by the all too rarely seen Constance Money who made only a handful of flicks. Never one to resist a challenge and fired up because of a wager with fellow jet-setter Geraldine (one time performer Jaqueline Beudant), Seymour invites the girl to come along to his mansion in the States where he will groom her to become the next Goldenrod Girl of naughty magazine publishing tycoon Lawrence Lehman (handsome Ras Kean, star of Armand Weston's brilliant EXPOSE ME, LOVELY), a title only bestowed on women who're revered the world over for their exceptional beauty, sensuality and lovemaking skills. On a crash course, Misty's put through her sexual paces, gaining insight and technique as she's presented with a number of "difficult" cases for seduction. All the while, she is falling in love with her mentor who doesn't (or pretends not to) notice… It is absolutely impossible to overpraise this film. While other adult movies made since may eclipse it in certain areas, there has yet to be made another one that surpasses it in all aspects. The sheer brilliance of the leads is ably supported by a cast filled to the brim with fan favorites, most of whom deliver equally fine performances vertically as well as horizontally. Terri Hall (the leading lady from Gerard Damiano's STORY OF JOANNA) shines as ballerina Tanya who does a sweltering Sapphic number on beautiful Beudant. Gay porn icon Casey Donovan (BOYS IN THE SAND) plays the effeminate gallery owner who finds himself at Misty's mercy and later supplied the buttocks for the Ras Kean rectal excavation portion of a three-way involving Misty and Gloria Leonard, the latter then at the start of what was to become a most distinguished career in the adult field. Mary Stuart (who had played the lead in Shaun Costello's extraordinary THE PASSIONS OF CAROL) and Jenny Baxter (from Costello's TRAVAILS OF JUNE) are stewardesses on a most peculiar airline in a sequence characteristic of the type of off the wall humor Metzger excelled at.

.

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7 out of 9 people found the following comment useful :-
How can a film this HOT be sooo COOL, 6 November 2004
10/10
Author: filmchap from England

Those of you know about the king of erotica, Radley Metzger will have most likely checked under his name... this is where you will find my thoughts on the truly talented and great Mr Metzger. So to keep it short, this movie is not just a classic porno movie, it's the greatest PORNO movie ever committed to celluloid (made in an era when this genre was at its 'porno chic peak') This film actually defines the term 'Chic'! I am a devoted fan of Radley Metzger and since my final year dissertation on his films, he has gotten a number of new fans that too believe as I, he was and still is a master of erotica! My lecturer at uni is even thinking of naming his band after one of the films I studied... The Lickerish Quartet.

See this, see The Lickerish Quartet, see Camille 2000, see The Image (if you dare... wow!) see Score, just see them all!

Boy or EQUALLY a girl (very rare in this genre is an adult film made equally erotic for both sexes) Just Seek these films out, you will not be disappointed and you will have a great RETRO night in, dance and dance to the funky lounge sounds!

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7 out of 9 people found the following comment useful :-
Hands down, the BEST porn movie ever made., 19 April 2001
10/10
Author: hydroboo

Radley Metzger has created an unbelievable amalgamation of great script, fantastic actors, and the best production value I've ever seen. Other films may have spent more on cheesy helicopter shots or period costumes, but you will never find a porn movie as good as this. The opening of Misty Beethoven holds up not only under the porn standard, but under any film standards. Simply a great film.

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4 out of 4 people found the following comment useful :-
Before Porn, there was Erotica, 19 January 2007
9/10
Author: Steve P from Branson, MO

For a brief moment in the mid '70's, before herpes, AIDS; at the beginning of the disco revolution and the absolute beginnings of the VCR, American society had grown up enough to allow genuine adult entertainment on the mainstream big screen as entertainment and not disguised as a morality play like "Reefer Madness." Unlike its predecessors, "Deep Throat" and "The Devil in Miss Jones," "The Opening of Misty Beethoven" features rich production values and exotic locations. The production values of this film are on par with most Hollywood productions at the time and huge cut above "B" movies of the era.

Explicit sex fills this film, even when the main characters are not engaging in it, the background extras on screen are. It's an interesting mix, leading to explicit sex being both glorified and trivialized. More than any other single film, this movie celebrates the promises of the 1960's Sexual Revolution with candid portrayals of sexual behavior from solo sex to heterosexual to both forms of homosexual-ism, namely gay and lesbian (though the references to gay sex are not presented as direct man on man contact).

While the sex is explicit and at times shown in the kind of close-ups that makes one feel as if they are a gynecologist, few of the sex scenes follow the pattern of modern pornography where the partners are filmed in close-up and changing positions every three to five minutes. On one hand, little of the sex between the main characters is gratuitous, yet, since this IS a sex film, it can be argued it is ALL gratuitous. The story is clearly a twist on the classic "My Fair Lady" theme. Can a lowly, "civil servant" class sex worker be elevated to the pinnacles of being a sexual legend? The dialog can be very witty at times and the movie doesn't mind stopping the "action" for a few good lines. The acting is above average for the period. The hip, very vogue fashions of the day are a wonderful flashback to another time and may be worth witnessing for their own value.

By 1978's "Debbie Does Dallas," the moment was over. Production values had fallen along with the caliber of the story lines and quality of the actors ability to act. Theater owners were under political pressure about showing such explicit movies. Mainstream Hollywood never took the bait to make their own adult productions, marginalizing the industry. And most importantly, there was a new technology entering the homes of Americans that would allow people to view such explicit content in the privacy of their homes, the VCR (first introduced to consumers as the Sony Betamax in 1975).

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4 out of 4 people found the following comment useful :-
Definitely a must see for those of you coming of age., 20 April 2000
Author: dunphyk1 from Edmonds, WA

I must admit that I gave this movie a 10 partly because I was relatively young and was seeing my first 'porno flick'. In the many years since then, I have seen many of both good and bad quality.

But this particular one has always held a special place in my soul. The dialogue was actually decent, the visual effects were absolutely stunning and there was a good humor that came through from everyone involved.

I'd love to see it again!

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