The Likely Lads (1976)
Terry Collier: I'd offer you a beer, but I've only got six cans.
Bob: In the chocolate box of life the top layer's already gone. And someone's pinched the orange creme from the bottom.
Terry Collier: Bloody hell.
Terry Collier: Back in time for a drink, watch the box this afternoon - that's what a weekend should be - sport, sleep, slippers and sex.
Bob: Not necessarily in that order.
Terry Collier: Oh Chris, I can't stand saying goodbye like this.
Christina: You really mean that?
Terry Collier: Yeah - you finish packing, I'm going to the pub.
Bob: When it comes to women you're hardly Omar Sharif.
Terry Collier: If Omar Sharif lived in Gateshead I doubt he'd be Omar Sharif.
Bob: I think I'm going through what psychiatrists call an identity crisis.
Thelma: Is that what Alan Pooley had?
Bob: I think Alan just liked dressing up in women's clothes.
Thelma: She must have quite a hold on Terry.
Bob: Probably at this very moment.
Thelma: Maybe we should invite Chris and Terry to badminton club.
Thelma: I know the city is a bit grey but outside we're surrounded by breathtaking grandeur, aren't we Bob?
Bob: Oh yes, breathtaking.
Bob: These streets are ugly, but they have a kind of beauty.
Terry Collier: Working class sentiment is the indulgence of working peopled created through football and rock-and-roll or people like you who moved out to the elm lodge housing estate at the earliest opportunity.
Bob: Well I didn't want my kids growing up in these streets.
Bob: Nobody cares, nobody's moved by the occasion.
Terry Collier: Residents are, moved to a highrise.
Bob: Of course you always had an irresistible sexual magnetism.
Terry Collier: True but its not just that.
Bob: What is it then, I'm dying to know!
Terry Collier: Well once I've got them up here, there's no way they're going to risk leavin this dodgy area after dark.
Bob: I'm going through a very depressed state recently, I think we should talk it through.
Thelma: Oh Bob, we've got so much to get done, can't we talk about if later over a cup of tea, it'll keep won't it.
Bob: Of course, its not important Thelma, I'm only questioning the validity of my entire life.
Fireman: We've got better things to do with taxpayers money.
Bob: I'm sorry, when I get to the top I just lost me nerve.
Terry Collier: Keeps your hand in doesn't it, better than polishing your bell up all afternoon.
Bob: Mind you my wife isn't really with me.
Terry Collier: In town though.
Bob: Out of sight, out of mind.
Terry Collier: Good thinking Bob.
Christina: I learn much this weekend Terry, it has been, how you say in English, an eyesore.
Terry Collier: [to young couple kissing passionately in lift] It's young Marsha isn't it, shouldn't you be in bed?
Marsha: We'd rather be but dad's in, that's why we're in the lift.
Bob: I bet we could go right round the world and you'd have a pat response ready.
Terry Collier: I've travelled man, I've seen a bit of the world now you know.
Bob: What do you think of Koreans, for instance?
Terry Collier: Not to be trusted. Cruel people. Much the same as all Orientals.
Bob: That's a third of the world's population dismissed in a phrase. Russians?
Terry Collier: Sinister.
Terry Collier: Cowardly.
Bob: Oh? I thought you might have saved that for Italians.
Terry Collier: No, no, they're greasy aren't they? Not as greasy as the French mind.
Terry Collier: Arrogant.
Terry Collier: Lazy.
Terry Collier: Pornographic.
Bob: Well that's just about everyone. Oh, Americans?
Terry Collier: Well, they're flash aren't they?
Bob: So it's just down to the British, is it?
Terry Collier: Well, I haven't got much time for the Irish or the Welsh, and the Scots are worse than the Koreans.
Bob: And you never could stand Southerners.
Terry Collier: To tell you the truth I don't like anybody much outside this town. And there's a lot of families in our street I can't stand either. Come to think of it, I don't even like the people next door.
Bob: I see, so from the distant blue Pacific through the barren wastes of Manchuria, to 127 Inkerman Terrace, you can't abide anyone.
Christina: You are so tired, I put you up.
Bob: You've put up with me long enough.
Christina: I not mean with, I up-put you.