It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown (1976 TV Short)

Dylan Beach: Charlie Brown

Quotes 

• Charlie Brown : Does your mother take your little brother everywhere?

  Linus van Pelt : Uh-huh. She says riding a bike is such good exercise that she's already lost three pounds.

  Rerun van Pelt : And from total fear, I've lost five pounds!

• Charlie Brown : [to Linus]  I'm surprised your little brother doesn't get bored riding on the back of that bike.

  Linus van Pelt : Well, I suppose he finds different ways to pass the time.

  Rerun van Pelt : [singing]  Eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall / Eighty-nine bottles of beer / If one of those bottles happens to fall / Eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall!

• Charlie Brown : I like the way your mother handles that bike.

  Linus van Pelt : Yes, I must admit, her steering is getting a little better.

  Rerun van Pelt : Yesterday, we only hit four parked cars.

• Peppermint Patty : You know what I don't understand, Chuck? I don't understand love.

  Charlie Brown : Who does?

  Peppermint Patty : Explain love to me, Chuck.

  Charlie Brown : I can recommend a book, or a painting, or a song, or a poem, but I can't explain love.

  Peppermint Patty : Try, Chuck! Try to explain love.

  Charlie Brown : Well, say I happen to see this cute little girl walk by, and I...

  Peppermint Patty : Why does she have to be cute, Chuck? Huh? Can't someone fall in love with a girl who isn't cute, and has freckles and a big nose? EXPLAIN *THAT*, CHUCK!

  Charlie Brown : Well, maybe you're right. Let's just say, then, that I happen to see this girl walk by who has a great big nose and...

  Peppermint Patty : I DIDN'T SAY A GREAT BIG NOSE, CHUCK!

  Charlie Brown : You not only can't explain love. Actually, you can't even talk about it.

• Charlie Brown : Let's see. Peppermint Patty is their big slugger. So I'll walk her each time she comes to bat. But she might get mad. Let's see. Snoopy's my best hitter, so I'll lead off with Snoopy. Then Schroeder, then Linus, that fills the bases up.

  [excitedly] 

  Charlie Brown : Then I'll come up and hit a home run!

  [depressed] 

  Charlie Brown : There I go. Daydreaming again.

• Charlie Brown : [looking at the baseball field which is now filled with flowers and plants]  What have you done?

  Sally Brown : It was all my idea, big brother, to celebrate Arbor Day!

  Frieda : And to make Charlie Brown Field presentable.

  Charlie Brown : But we can't play baseball here! It's impossible! Can't you see that?

  Lucy van Pelt : Oh, come on, Charlie Brown. We couldn't play before anyway. So you haven't lost anything.

• Charlie Brown : Look at my pitcher's mound! It's got a tree on it! I can't pitch from there!

  Schroeder : Come on, Charlie Brown, give it a try. Beethoven never gave up.

  [Charlie Brown walks up to the mound in despair] 

  Charlie Brown : Beethoven never had a tree on his piano.

• Charlie Brown : Okay, Schroeder, this is it! You promised to kiss her!

  Schroeder : A promise is a promise.

  [Schroder walks up to home plate reluctantly, covers his eyes and puckers up. When Lucy approaches her, she sees how Schroeder is not up to the idea] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Forget it! If that's the only way I'll ever get you to kiss me, forget it!

  [walks back to the bench] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Another victory for women's lib!

• [Peppermint Patty pitches and Lucy hits the ball] 

  Charlie Brown : SHE DID IT! SHE HIT A HOME RUN!

  [to Schroeder] 

  Charlie Brown : And you're gonna have to stand out by home plate and kiss her! You promised! She's heading for home! It's kissing time! La-dee-da-da-da-da-da-da-dum...

• Schroeder : No problem. She's never hit the ball out of the infield in her life.

  Charlie Brown : C'mon, Lucy! You can do it! If you hit a home run, maybe we'll *all* give you a kiss!

  [Snoopy smiles at Lucy] 

  Lucy van Pelt : Bleah!

• Charlie Brown : We need a run! We need a run!

  Lucy van Pelt : Hey, manager, what'll you give me if I hit a home run?

  Schroeder : A home run? You've never hit the ball out of the infield in your life!

  Lucy van Pelt : If I hit a home run, Schroeder, will you give me a kiss?

  Schroeder : If you hit a home run, I'll meet you at home plate and give you the biggest kiss you've ever had!

  Lucy van Pelt : INCENTIVE!

• [last lines] 

  Charlie Brown : I wonder if I'll ever win at anything.

  Peppermint Patty : Well, at least you got a baseball field named after you, Chuck. And it's got all those pretty trees and plants. Happy Arbor Day, Charlie Brown!

• Peppermint Patty : Have you seen our baseball schedule for the new season, Chuck? My team plays your team twelve times. We slaughter you twice in April, smash you three times in May, ruin you twice in June, murder you three times in July, annihilate you four times in August and destroy you altogether in September!

  Charlie Brown : My stomach hurts.