Columbo: You know, when I say "Homicide Department," most women, they act a little upset, so I try and calm 'em with a little chit-chat. I've been doing that for so long that I forgot to notice that you weren't upset. Forgive me for wandering off.
Ruth Lytton: I've disappointed you. My sister won't. You needn't even bother saying "homicide." "Foul play" will do it. She faints.
Columbo: My watch costs thirty dollars. His must have cost a couple hundred and it's wrong. It says May first. Goes to show you money doesn't buy quality.
Sgt. George Carter: Lieutenant, it IS May first. Your watch is wrong, his watch is right.
Columbo: Oh. Well, what do you expect for thirty dollars.
Ruth Lytton: Lieutenant, you must never underestimate me... nor I you. I don't in the least mind you playing tricks, but you're going to have to be a little cleverer, aren't you?
Columbo: Excuse me, Darryl?
[sees Columbo's hair]
Darryl: A challenge but I'll do my best. Sit please, please.
Columbo: Uh, no, actually I just wanted to ask a few questions.
Darryl: Ah, don't sue. Just wear a hat and never let him cut it again.
Columbo: Uh, no, sir.
[looks in the mirror]
Columbo: Is it that bad?
Darryl: Mm-hm, yes. Yes, now that's all the questions I have time for. Next!
Columbo: ...and I would like, if possible, to ask you a few questions about a man...
Darryl: You joking, Lieutenant? This is the middle of a working day.
Columbo: Well, sir, if you don't answer the questions here, I'm afraid I'll have to take you down to police department. You see, this is a murder case, sir.
Darryl: Fine. Arrest me. I'd be disappointed in the police if they didn't do that. If I don't lose a fortune, cancel the day, offend my customers, you're gonna take me to the police headquarters. Well, go right ahead! Arrest me! Do you have the handcuffs with you? Why don't you handcuff me? I'm surprised you don't beat me unconscious so you can carry me out so I don't cause trouble. Isn't that correct?
Columbo: Well, you've got some family, Miss Lytton. Everybody thinks I'm getting ready to arrest them.
Ruth Lytton: Everybody but me.
Columbo: Yes. It's a relief talking to you. I was beginning to feel like a policeman.
Ruth Lytton: You ARE a policeman - and a good one. You say a thing when you're ready to say it and not before.
Janie Brandt: Aunt Ruth, he was in the Army, he can handle a gun, and he's the only one who was willing to work for that salary.
Mrs. Brandt: There is a man's arm to support any woman who wants one.
Ruth Lytton: No, not any woman.