Lt. Columbo: You know, I think my wife was right. Something wrong with me. Supposed to be on vacation, and right away I'm thinking like a cop. That's called, uh, occupational hazard.
Jaime: "Occupational hazard?" Uh, what is that?
Lt. Columbo: That's, uh, when wherever you go you take your work with you.
Jaime: Oh, I see. Uh, we call that "loco."
Commandant Sanchez: I hope you understand, Luis, that, uh, the lieutenant here is here as my guest. He has no official status.
Luis Montoya: So inquisitive. I find him amusing.
[Lt. Columbo recommends Commandante Sanchez order an autopsy on Hector Rangel]
Commandant Sanchez: Lieutenant, I can see the newspapers: "Don Luis Montoya, the Idol of Mexico, a Murder Suspect?"
Lt. Columbo: That's your problem. I'm just a tourist here.
Commandant Sanchez: Yeah, that's my problem. You know, a policeman who jeopardizes his pension, he must be loco, right?
Lt. Columbo: [referring to bullfighting] I don't know how you fight those things to make a living.
Luis Montoya: It's more than a living, Lieutenant. It's a way of life.
Lt. Columbo: I'll tell you the truth, uh, I don't think I would enjoy watching a man kill an animal like that, as big and as mean as he is.
Luis Montoya: Perhaps you do enjoy the spectacle of two men in the prize ring beating each other senseless, or murdering an innocent deer with a rifle, or catching a fish with another one which is still alive. Our culture is different than yours, Lieutenant. No better or worse, perhaps, but, uh, different.
Commandant Sanchez: If there is a crime here, I want to get to the bottom of it. Better yet, I would like YOU to get to the bottom of it.
Lt. Columbo: Me?
Lt. Columbo: May I ask you a personal question, sir?
Luis Montoya: Oh, by all means.
Lt. Columbo: Did you injure your leg in the bullring?
Luis Montoya: [nodding] On the Plaza Del Toros, Mexico. It was the wound that ended my career. And, ironically, it wasn't even the bull I was supposed to fight. You see, I was appearing mano a mano with a young matador who froze, and the bull gored him. I jumped to his rescue, and I, too, was gored. Badly. Here. They tried to take me to the infirmary along with the young matador, but I refused to go. Despite the blood flowing from my wound, I stayed in the ring and I did one of the best faenas of my career. I killed the bull with one thrust. The people loved it! They stood up and gave me an electrifying ovation. Two ears and a tail! That was my last fight.
Lt. Columbo: Well, that must have taken a lot of courage, sir.
Miguel: You know, my name is Miguel Hernandez, very well known to everybody, even to the bulls.
Miguel: But the patrón was kind enough to give me a bottle of mescal, and I had a very pleasant afternoon, but today I have a headache, señor.
Miguel: You know, it is funny, señor, in a desert like this, sometimes you see the rain but only over there in the mountains. It never gets here.
Lt. Columbo: [to Sanchez] Yes, I can see that, but it's important to be thorough - especially when a man dies alone.
Lt. Columbo: [to Sanchez] No, the bull was the murder weapon, sir, like a gun.
Commandant Sanchez: I have to go, Lieutenant. There's been a terrible accident out at the Montoya Ranch. Maybe you'd like to accompany me? We could talk on the way over.
Lt. Columbo: My wife is waiting at the hotel.
Commandant Sanchez: All right. I understand. You know, I was thinking that, uh, maybe we could speed up the paperwork on your accident - but, of course, you have to go to your wife, that's all.
Lt. Columbo: That sounds like blackmail.
Commandant Sanchez: Lieutenant, would I do such a thing to a fellow police officer?
Commandant Sanchez: A bull like Marinaro, how much he worth?
Luis Montoya: $8,000 - more with inflation.
Lt. Columbo: Seems like a valuable piece of property to destroy without permission.
Luis Montoya: You see, my cows are very aggressive, Lieutenant. That's why they breed such brave bulls.
Lt. Columbo: Let's start with small things. Let's finish our coffee.
Lt. Columbo: Actually, I thought if I got the chance I'd like to come out here one more time before I left. I'm fascinated by everything out here, but I don't want to be a pest.
Luis Montoya: Oh, not at all, Lieutenant. You're welcome here anytime.
Lt. Columbo: Well, thank you very much, sir. I've been fascinated by everything I've seen out here and I still think there's a lot to learn.
Lt. Columbo: Is that the autopsy?
Commandant Sanchez: That's the weather report.
Lt. Columbo: [trying to read it] It's in Spanish.
Commandant Sanchez: Yes, I know that. The people at the weather bureau speak it very well.
Lt. Columbo: I'll tell you the truth. I got a crazy notion I know why Rangel was killed.
Commandant Sanchez: What?
Lt. Columbo: Trouble is I don't think anybody's gonna believe me.
Luis Montoya: I am sorry, Lieutenant. I have tried to be gracious; I have answered all your questions; my courtesy has been rewarded with accusation. I must ask you to leave my house and not return.
Jaime: [regarding a piece of splintered wood] That is not from a pick, señor. That is from a lance.
Lt. Columbo: Well, what's the difference?
Jaime: The picks are used in the ring. They have metal tips to wound the bull, lower his head.
Lt. Columbo: And the lance?
Jaime: They are used in the fields by the vaqueros for herding. They are made of pine, not so strong.
Lt. Columbo: Well, now I'm puzzled.
Lt. Columbo: What is this "pinchazo in the glodio?"
Commandant Sanchez: [correcting] "Gluteo." That's a puncture in the buttocks.
Lt. Columbo: Well, did the bull get him there, too?
Luis Montoya: [losing control before Columbo] If you understood the first thing about bullfighting, you would not question Hector's death.