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IMDb > The Stepford Wives (1975) > Memorable quotes
Patricia Cornell: Oh, Frank you're the best, you're the champ, you're the master...!
Joanna Eberhart: I guess I want to be remembered.
Bobbie Markowe: Dave set me loose at Bergdorf's and I went mad!
Bobbie Markowe: If I were to apologize for every time I got smashed, I'd spend my life wandering around saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry."
Dale Coba: [Joanna is brewing coffee] I like to watch women doing little domestic chores.
Joanna Eberhart: Then you came to the right town.
Joanna Eberhart: When you come back, there will be a woman with my name and my face, she'll cook and clean like crazy, but she won't take pictures and SHE WON'T BE ME!
Joanna Eberhart: Why do they call you Diz?
Dale Coba: I used to work in Disneyland.
Joanna Eberhart: No, really!
Dale Coba: No. Really.
Joanna Eberhart: I don't believe you.
Dale Coba: Why not?
Joanna Eberhart: You don't seem to be the kind of person that likes to make other people happy.
Bobbie Markowe: Am I game? Am I GAME? Boy! Am I game!
[last lines]
Joanna Eberhart: Hello, Bobbie.
Bobbie Markowe: Oh, hello, Joanna.
Joanna Eberhart: How are you?
Bobbie Markowe: I'm fine. How are you?
Joanna Eberhart: I'm fine. How are the children?
Bobbie Markowe: Fine...
Kim Eberhart: Daddy, I just saw a man carrying a naked lady.
Walter Eberhart: Well, that's why we're moving to Stepford.
Walter Eberhart: She cooks as good as she looks, Ted.
Joanna Eberhart: If I am wrong, I'm insane... but if I'm right, it's even worse than if I was wrong.
Carol Van Sant: I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
Bobbie Markowe: If you tell me you don't like this dress, I'm sticking my head right in the oven.
Bobbie Markowe: [after being stabbed] Oh Joanna! My new dress! How could you do a thing like that? Just when I was going to give you coffee! How could you do a thing like that? I thought we were friends! Just when I was going to... how could you do a thing like that... just when I was going to give you coffee! Oh Joanna... I thought we were friends... I thought we were friends... friends... coffee... how could you do a thing like that? Like that? Like that? Like that? Friends... friends...
Bobbie Markowe: I just don't get it. It's like there's this contest, okay? And the housewife with the cleanest house gets Robert Redford for Christmas... but nobody will tell the rules!
Charmaine Wimperis: Ed never loved me. Sure, he married me because I look great and would make an impression on the other executives. He just NEVER loved me.
Bobbie Markowe: I'm also an ex-Gothamite, who's been living here in Ajax country for just over a month now, and I'm going crazy. You see doctor, my problem is that given complete freedom of choice, I don't WANT to squeeze the goddamn Charmin!
Mary Ann Stavros: I'm afraid I can't join you. I just don't have time.
Joanna Eberhart: It'll just be a little while...
Mary Ann Stavros: I don't think I'm interested.
Bobbie Markowe: You know, everything's not just housework, you must go out once in a while, right?
Mary Ann Stavros: Well, I'm out now, ain't I?
Joanna Eberhart: I can't just call him up and say, "I used be called Joanna Ingalls. You deflowered me ten years ago. Would you test my water?"
Joanna Eberhart: What do they do there?
Bobbie Markowe: Who knows? Sit around and reminisce about The Good Ol' Days.
Joanna Eberhart: What were The Good Ol' Days?
Bobbie Markowe: Back when "Playboy" still used the airbrush!
Carol Van Sant: [after a fender bender] This is oh so silly... it's just my head. This is oh so silly... it's just my head. This is oh so silly... it's just my head...
Charmaine Wimperis: [referring to the Men's Association] I'll admit it's unfair and sexist, but FRANKLY, ANYTHING that gets him out of the house at night is fine with me.
Mary Ann Stavros: [holding up some floral bouquets to Bobbie] Which one of these do you like?
Bobbie Markowe: Oh... ah... hmmmm... I don't think either one.
Joanna Eberhart: It'll happen to me before then. When you come back, there will be a woman with my name and my face, she'll cook and clean like crazy, but she won't take pictures and she won't be me! She'll be... like the robots at Disneyland.
Dr. Fancher: Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a prescription that you get filled, then you get your children and GET THE HELL OUT! Don't tell your husband, don't tell anybody, just get in your car and drive somewhere you feel safe.
Bobbie Markowe: Two things I always carry are Tampax and Wingdings.
Joanna Eberhart: [ambulance drives off] We may be new here but isn't the Stepford hospital the OTHER way?
Walter Eberhart: No, yeah, no... you're right, the ambulance DID go the *other* way, didn't it?
Joanna Eberhart: This is not me and what you're saying isn't you.

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