The Criminologist: And crawling on the planet's face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning.
Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip...
Magenta: You're into a time slip...
Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same.
Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation. HAH!
Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation!
All: Let's do the time warp again!
Frank: Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.
Frank: [singing] I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania.
Janet: What have you done to Brad?
Frank: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?
The Criminologist: [reading from dictionary] "Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of mind; vehement or excited mental state." It is also a powerful and irrational master. And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet was indeed... its slave.
Frank: Enchanté. Well! How nice. And what charming underclothes you both have. But here. Put these on. They'll make you feel less... vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality.
Brad: Hospitality? All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, goddammit, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore!
Janet: Brad, don't be ungrateful.
Frank: How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant.
The Criminologist: I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.
Frank: [singing] Whatever happened to Fay Wray / That delicate satin-draped frame / As it clung to her thigh / How I started to cry / 'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.
Frank: Do you think I made a mistake splitting his brain between the two of them?
Frank: Oh, I just love success!
Riff Raff: He's a credit to your genius, Master.
Magenta: A triumph of your will.
Columbia: He's okay!
Frank: Okay? Okay? I think we can do better than that! Well, Brad and Janet, what do you think of him?
Janet: Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.
Frank: I didn't make him for you! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval!
Brad: [after Dr. Scott charges through the wall] Great Scott!
Frank: That's a rather tender subject. Another slice, anyone?
Riff Raff: It's astounding... Time is... fleeting. Madness... takes its toll. But listen closely...
Magenta: Not for very much longer!
Riff Raff: I've got to... keep... control.
Frank: It's not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!
Dr. Everett Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Dr. Everett Scott: Janet!
Janet: Dr. Scott!
Janet: If only we were amongst friends... or sane persons!
Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chain and vanished. Your new playmate is loose and somewhere in the castle grounds. Magenta has just released the dogs.
Frank: Hmmm? Coming.
Columbia: My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named after the rocks in his head!
Frank: Well, really, that's no way to behave on your first day out. But, uhm, since you're such an exceptional beauty, I'm prepared to forgive you.
Janet: Brad, please, let's get out of here.
Brad: For God's sake, keep a grip on it, Janet.
Janet: But it seems so unhealthy here.
Brad: It's just a party, Janet.
Janet: Well, I wanna go!
Brad: Well we can't go back to the car unless we get to a phone.
Janet: Well, ask the butler or someone!
Brad: Just a moment, Janet. We don't want to interfere with their celebration.
Janet: This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad!
The Criminologist: It's just a jump to the left.
All: And then a step to the right!
The Criminologist: With your hands on your hips...
All: You bring your knees in tight! But it's the pelvic thrust / That really drives you insane / Let's do the time warp again!
Dr. Everett Scott: My vheels! My god, I can't move my vheels!
Eddie: [singing] Hot patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock n' roll!
Richard M. Nixon: [On the car radio] I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as president, I must put the interests of America first. America needs a full time president, and a full time Congress...
[fades with dialog]
Riff Raff: [singing] Frank-n-Furter it's all over. Your mission is a failure, your lifestyle's too extreme. I'm your new commander. You are now my prisoner. We return to Transylvania. Prepare the transit beam.
Columbia: [singing] I said hey listen to me. Stay sane inside insanity, but he locked the door and threw away the key.
Frank: Because I've seen blue skies, through the tears in my eyes. And I realize, I'm going home.
Frank: In just seven days, I can make you a man. Dig it if you can.
Frank: He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups. Do the snatch, clean and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Such strenuous living I just don't understand. When in just seven days, oh baby, I can make you a man.
Frank: He'll eat nutritious, high protein and swallow raw eggs... Tried to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms and legs. Such an effort, if he only knew of my plan. In just seven days I can make you a man.
Magenta: How sentimental.
Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said that 'we' were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you are to remain here, in spirit, anyway.
Dr. Everett Scott: Great heavens! That's a laser!
Riff Raff: Yes, Dr. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.
Brad: You mean, you're going to kill him? What's his crime?
Dr. Everett Scott: You saw what became of Eddie. Society must be protected.
Riff Raff: Exactly, Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N. Furter, your time has come. Say good-bye to all of this... and hello to oblivion.
Dr. Everett Scott: This sonic transducer, it is I suppose some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?
Janet: You killed them!
Magenta: But I thought you liked them. They liked you.
Riff Raff: THEY DIDN'T LIKE ME! THEY NEVER LIKED ME!
Frank: It was strange the way it happened. Suddenly... you get a break! All of the pieces seem to fit into place. What a sucker you've been, what a fool. The answer was there all the time. It took a small accident to make it happen. AN ACCIDENT! And that is how I discovered the secret. That elusive ingredient, that... spark that is the breath of life... yes I have that knowledge! I hold the key to life... ITSELF!
Columbia: You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege.
Brad: Some people like you, maybe?
Columbia: Ha! I've seen it.
Frank: A weakling, weighing 98 pounds, will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground. And soon in the gym, with a determined chin. The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause. Will make him glisten and gleam. And with massage and just a little bit of steeeeeam... He'll be pink and quite clean. He'll be a strong man... Oh honey, but the wrong man.
Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep. A hot groin and a tricep makes me... ooo... shake! Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the hand.
Frank: I don't want no dissension. Just dynamic tension.
Janet: I'm a muscle fan.
Janet: [singing] There's a light, over at the Frankenstein place.
Magenta: Come along. The Master doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Magenta: Shift it!
Frank: Oo, I know he has a certain naïve charm... but NO MUSCLE!
Lips: [singing] Science fiction... double feature/Dr. X... will build a creature/See androids fighting... Brad and Janet... Anne Francis stars in..."Forbidden Planet"/Whoa-oh-oh-ohh/At the late-night double feature picture show
Dr. Everett Scott: We've got to get out of this trap! Before this... decadence... saps our wills. I've got to be strong, und try to... hang on! Or else, my mind may well *snap*! Und my life... will be lived...
Dr. Everett Scott: for ze *thrills*...
Lips: [last lines; in song] Science fiction... double feature/Frank has built and... lost his creature/Darkness has conquered... Brad and Janet/The servants gone to... a distant planet/Whoa-oh-oh-ohh/At the late-night... double feature... picture show/I wanna go/Ah-ohh/To the late-night... double feature... picture show.
Lips: [singing] I knew Leo G. Carroll / Was over a barrel when "Tarantula" took to the hills / And I really got hot / When I saw Janette Scott / Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills / Dana Andrews said prunes / Gave him the runes / And passing them used lots of skills / But when worlds collide / Said George Pal to his bride / I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills / Like a...
Frank: [punishing Riff Raff for letting Rocky get away] How did it happen? I understood you were to be watching!
Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute... master.
Frank: Well... see if you can find him, on the MONITOR!
Dr. Frank-N-Furter: [singing] I'll tell you once, I won't tell you twice, you better wise up, Janet Weiss. Your apple pie don't taste too nice. You better wise up, Janet Weiss.
[Janet knees him in the balls and runs away]
Janet: [whispering] Say something!
Brad: Say! Any of you guys know how to Madison?
Frank: Magenta. Columbia. Go and assist Riff Raff. I will entertain... err...
[chortles, extending hand to Brad]
Brad: Brad Majors.
[Shakes hands firmly]
Brad: This is my fiancee, Janet Vice.
Lips: [first lines; in song] Michael Rennie was ill The Day the Earth Stood Still / But he told us where we stand / And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear / Claude Rains was The Invisible Man...
Frank: Oh, come on Brad, admit it, you liked it didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure. Oh, Brad, you've wasted so much time already. Janet needn't know - I won't tell her!
Brad: Well, you promise you won't tell?
Frank: On my mother's gra...
[voice trails off into gurgles as mouth becomes otherwise occupied!]
Magenta: I grow weary of this world! When shall we return to Transylvania, huh?
Dr. Frank-N-Furter: Magenta, I am indeed grateful to you and your brother Riff Raff. You have both served me well. You will discover that when the mood takes me... I can be quite generous.
Magenta: I ask for nothing, master.
Dr. Frank-N-Furter: And you shall receive it. IN ABUNDANCE!
Riff Raff: Hello.
Brad: Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. I wonder if you'd mind helping us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road. Do you have a phone we might use?
Riff Raff: You're wet.
Janet: Yes, it's raining.
Riff Raff: Yes... I think perhaps you better both come inside.
Janet: You're too kind. Oh, Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?
Brad: Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.
Riff Raff: This way.
Janet: Are you having a party?
Riff Raff: You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs.
Janet: Oh, lucky him.
Magenta: You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha...
Janet: [singing] Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me / I wanna be dirty! Chill me, thrill me, fulfill me / Creature of the night!
Frank: So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici... pation.
Riff Raff: The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be.
Frank: How do you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman.
Frank: One from the vaults... Don't be upset. It was a mercy killing. He had a certain naive charm, but no muscle.