McMurphy: What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it.
McMurphy: But I tried, didn't I? Goddamnit, at least I did that.
Chief Bromden: My pop was real big. He did like he pleased. That's why everybody worked on him. The last time I seen my father, he was blind and diseased from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he didn't suck out of it, it sucked out of him until he shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs didn't know him.
McMurphy: Killed him, huh?
Chief Bromden: I'm not saying they killed him. They just worked on him. The way they're working on you.
McMurphy: Is that crazy enough for ya'? Want me to take a shit on the floor?
Chief Bromden: Mac... they said you escaped. I knew you wouldn't leave without me. I was waiting for you. Now we can make it, Mac; I feel big as a damn mountain.
[he suddenly sees the lobotomy scars]
Chief Bromden: Oh, no...
Chief Bromden: [embracing McMurphy] I'm not goin' without you, Mac. I wouldn't leave you this way... You're coming with me.
Chief Bromden: [laying him down] Let's go.
Nurse Ratched: Aren't you ashamed?
Billy: No, I'm not.
[Applause from friends]
Nurse Ratched: You know Billy, what worries me is how your mother is going to take this.
Billy: Um, um, well, y-y-y-you d-d-d-don't have to t-t-t-tell her, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: I don't have to tell her? Your mother and I are old friends. You know that.
Billy: P-p-p-please d-d-don't tell my m-m-m-mother.
Harding: I'm not just talking about my wife, I'm talking about my LIFE, I can't seem to get that through to you. I'm not just talking about one person, I'm talking about everybody. I'm talking about form. I'm talking about content. I'm talking about interrelationships. I'm talking about God, the devil, Hell, Heaven. Do you understand... FINALLY?
McMurphy: I can't take it no more. I gotta get outta here.
Chief Bromden: I can't. I just can't.
McMurphy: It's easier than you think, Chief.
Chief Bromden: For you, maybe. You're a lot bigger than me.
McMurphy: [about shock treatments] They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!
McMurphy: Get out of my way son, you're usin' my oxygen.
Night Nurse: Mr. Turkle?
McMurphy: Where the fuck is he, why doesn't he answer her?
Taber: He's jerkin' off somewhere.
Orderly Turkle: Ain't no one jerkin' off nowhere muthafucker!
McMurphy: Turkle what the fuck are you doing in here? Go out and talk to her.
Orderly Turkle: I'm doin' the same fuckin' thing your doin'- hidin'!
McMurphy: In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she don't know whether to shit or wind her wristwatch.
Nurse Ratched: The best thing we can do is go on with our daily routine.
McMurphy: I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this.
[McMurphy is pretending to watch the World Series on TV]
McMurphy: Someone get me a fucking wiener before I die.
McMurphy: She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what being crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.
[the inmates are playing cards and betting with cigarettes]
Martini: [rips a cigarette in half] I bet a nickel.
McMurphy: Dime's the limit, Martini.
Martini: I bet a dime.
[Puts the two halves onto the table]
McMurphy: This is not a dime, Martini. This is a dime.
[shows a whole cigarette]
McMurphy: If you break it in half, you don't get two nickels, you get shit. Try and smoke it. You understand?
McMurphy: You don't understand.
Nurse Ratched: If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it.
[McMurphy turns around to see Harding smiling at him]
McMurphy: Heh, YOU'D like it, wouldn't you?
[to Harding, regarding the pills]
McMurphy: Here, give it to me.
McMurphy: [pretending to watch the World Series on TV] Koufax... Koufax kicks. He delivers. It's up the middle! It's a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. He's going for second. The ball's into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! He's in there! He's safe! It's a double.! Richardson's on second base!
[McMurphy gets up as the other patients come to see what he's doing]
McMurphy: Koufax is in big fucking trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax... Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. It's a strike! Koufax's curve ball is snapping off like a fucking firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. It's a long fly ball to deep left center!
McMurphy: It's going! It's gone! Let's hear it! One way!
Dr. Spivey: Well, the real reason that you've been sent over here is because they wanted you to be evaluated... to determine whether or not you are mentally ill. This is the real reason. Why do you think they might think that?
McMurphy: Well, as near as I can figure out, it's 'cause I, uh, fight and fuck too much.
McMurphy: We're just having a little party.
Orderly Turkle: Party my ass, this ain't no nightclub!
Young Psychiatrist: Have you ever heard of the old saying "a rolling stone gathers no moss?"
Young Psychiatrist: Does that mean something to you?
McMurphy: Uh... tt's the same as "don't wash your dirty underwear in public."
Young Psychiatrist: I'm not sure I understand what you mean.
McMurphy: [smiling] I'm smarter than him, ain't I?
McMurphy: Well, that sort of has always meant, is, uh, it's hard for something to grow on something that's moving.
Taber: [Taber is picking on Harding as he plays Monopoly with Martini]
[pushing his back]
Taber: Come on, Harding. Play the game. Play it!
Harding: I am playing the game! Stop bothering me! I can't concentrate!
Taber: [pushing him again] Play the game, Harding. Come on!
Harding: [shouting] You keep your hands off me, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
McMurphy: Goddamn it Chief, you about as big as a damn mountain!
McMurphy: [to other patients regarding naked playing cards] "No, no, I'll show you some card tricks. You ain't seen the Spanish deck yet. That's 20 percent more torture!"
McMurphy: Koufax looks down! He's looking at the great Mickey Mantle now! Here comes the pitch! Mantle swings! It's a fucking home run!
[loud cheering from the patients]
McMurphy: What are you doin' here? You oughta be out in a convertible bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver.
McMurphy: I'm here to cooperate with you a hundred percent. A hundred percent. I'll be just right down the line with ya'. You watch.
McMurphy: Why don't ya shut your goddamn mouth and play some music.
[McMurphy, getting Chief into the basketball game]
McMurphy: Hit me, Chief, I got the moves!
[about Nurse Ratched]
McMurphy: Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc?
McMurphy: Nurse Ratched, Nurse Ratched! The Chief voted! Now will you please turn on the television set?
Nurse Ratched: [she opens the glass window] Mr. McMurphy, the meeting was adjourned and the vote was closed.
McMurphy: But the vote was 10 to 8. The Chief, he's got his hand up! Look!
Nurse Ratched: No, Mr. McMurphy. When the meeting was adjourned, the vote was 9 to 9.
McMurphy: [exasperated] Aw come on, you're not gonna say that now! You're not gonna say that now! You're gonna pull that hen house shit? Now when the vote... the Chief just voted - it was 10 to 9. Now I want that television set turned on *right now*!
[Nurse Ratched closes the glass window]
McMurphy: You're not an idiot. Huh! You're not a goddamn looney now, boy. You're a fisherman!
Nurse Pilbow: Don't get upset, Mr. McMurphy.
McMurphy: I'm not getting upset, Nurse Pilbow. I just don't want anyone to slip me salt peter!
[telling McMurphy about Chief]
Billy: He-he-he can't hear you. He's a d-d-deaf and d-d-dumb Indian.
McMurphy: [pointing to naked woman on playing card] Where do you suppose she lives?
McMurphy: Jesus Christ! D'you nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna fuckin' jerk off?
Psychiatrist: Dr. Sanji?
Dr. Sanji: I don't think he's overly psychotic, but, I still think he's quite sick.
Psychiatrist: You think he's dangerous?
Dr. Sanji: Absolutely so.
McMurphy: What are we doing in here, Chief? Huh? What's us two guys doing in this fucking place? Let's get out of here. Out.
Chief Bromden: Canada?
McMurphy: Canada. We'll be there before these sonofabitches know what hit 'em. Listen to Randall on this one.
Attendant Warren: Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: Good morning.
Attendant Washington: Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: Mr. Washington.
Nurse Ratched: Good morning.
Nurse Pilbow: Good morning, Miss Ratched.
Nurse Ratched: Good morning.
Attendant Washington: Morning, Bancini.
Attendant Washington: How do you feel?
Nurse Pilbow: Medication time. Medication time.