Joey Ziegler:
He'd fuck a woodpile on the chance there was a snake in it.
Paula:
Oh, that's a beauty.
Harry Moseby:
Yeah, but he didn't see it. He played something else and he lost. He must have regretted it every day of his life. I know I would have. As a matter of fact I do regret it, and I wasn't even born yet.
Paula:
That's no excuse.
Harry Moseby:
Listen Delly, I know it doesn't make much sense when you're sixteen. Don't worry. When you get to be forty, it isn't any better.
Harry Moseby:
You told me fairy tales... About Malone... Billy Danreuther... The President getting shot... Your erect nipples!
Ellen Moseby:
[
of a football game] Who's winning?
Harry Moseby:
Nobody. One side is just losing slower than the other.
Harry Moseby:
What happened to your face?
Quentin:
I won second prize in a fight.
Paula:
[
of the uninhibited Delly] Did she offer you the key to the city?
Harry Moseby:
Well, no. It was, uh, more like a sightseeing tour.
Harry Moseby:
Harry thinks if you call him Harry again he's gonna make you eat that cat!
Paula:
When we're all as free as Delly there'll be rioting in the streets.
Harry Moseby:
I saw a Rohmer film once. It was kind of like watching paint dry.
Arlene Iverson:
Are you the kind of detective who, once you get on a case nothing can get you off it? Bribes, beatings, the allure of a woman...
Harry Moseby:
That was true in the old days. Before we had a union.
Marv Ellman:
There's nothing like having a mother and a daughter. Gives you sort of a kind of perspective.
Paula:
How do you resist Delly?
Harry Moseby:
Oh, I just think good, clean thoughts, like Thanksgiving, George Washington's teeth.
Paula:
Where were you when Kennedy got shot?
Harry Moseby:
Which Kennedy?
Paula:
Any Kennedy.
Harry Moseby:
When the president got shot, I was on my way to San Diego. Football game. When Bobby got shot, I was sitting in a car waiting for a guy to come out of a house with his girlfriend. Working on a divorce case. One of those times I wish I was in another business.
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