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Carry on Behind (1975) Poster

Quotes

[Prof. Anna Vrooshka crashes into Prof. Crump's caravan]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Good Mornings, so sorry!

Prof. Roland Crump: Well that's alright, don't mention it.

The Dean: Crump, I'd like you to meet Professor Vrooshka.

[In a heavy Russian accent]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: How are you doinks?

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: I have been examining Hadrian's Walls.

Prof. Roland Crump: He only had one.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: One what?

Prof. Roland Crump: He had one, one wall.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Terribly sorry, my English not yet perfected.

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The Dean: I'm glad to see you two look like hitting it off.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Hitting it off, what does hit it off mean? Means like having it off, no?

Prof. Roland Crump: Oh no, it means establishing a friendly relationship.

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[In a heavy Russian Accent]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Don't worry me and Professor Crump will soon be having it off.

Prof. Roland Crump: HITTING IT OFF!

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[in Fred Ramsden's Butcher Shop]

Fred Ramsden: Hello Elss.

Mrs. Rowan: Hello love, give us a bit of that for the old man.

Fred Ramsden: Give that to your husband and you're in for a night of romance.

Mrs. Rowan: Ooh, can I do it in the oven?

Fred Ramsden: Do it where you like, it's your kitchen.

Mrs. Rowan: Ooh!

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[Linda's mother brings her cacti on holiday with her]

Linda Upmore: Mummy your not bringing them are you?

Daphne Barnes: Well I can't leave them at home, they'll die.

Arthur Upmore: Good.

Daphne Barnes: Did you say something?

Arthur Upmore: I said good, we've nearly finished packing.

[Daphne asks the taxi driver who brought her plants to put them somewhere safe, but Arthur gets a prodd from the Cactus on his bottom]

Daphne Barnes: Put that on the table will you?

Arthur Upmore: AHH! BLOODY HELL!

Daphne Barnes: Arthur, there is no need for that!

Arthur Upmore: Oh deary me, bless me soul, I do believe I nearly said a rude word, which is not suprising since I nearly got a cactus spike right up my a...

Daphne Barnes: ARTHUR!

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[Fred Ramsden loses his Beach Ball and it ends up on Barnes' fire]

Barnes: What you yelling about?

Fred Ramsden: My ball's burning!

Barnes: Don't stand so close to the fire.

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Prof. Roland Crump: You mean the students got here before us?

Maj. Leep: Yes, were you held up?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Yes, before we started we had quick bang together.

Prof. Roland Crump: She ran into my caravan!

Maj. Leep: Oh?

Prof. Roland Crump: No! No! She collided with it now its a complete right-off.

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's ok we are squeezing in somehow.

Prof. Roland Crump: We will do nothing of the sort!

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[Professor Vrooshka and Professor Crump bargain with Barnes to rent his derelict looking caravan]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Fifteen quids a veek.

Barnes: Twenty.

Prof. Roland Crump: The only reason why we want the dilapidated mobile hovel, is for somewhere to do out operations.

Barnes: Operations? What operations?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: He will be getting them out and I will be examining them and schticking labels on them.

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Prof. Roland Crump: We can't share a caravan.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You thinking you getting crumpet, no?

Prof. Roland Crump: Certainly not, where on earth did you learn that expression?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Crumpet, is to squash it, it is in dictionary, crumpet is to squash it together.

Prof. Roland Crump: Oh! You mean cramped.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Its what I say crumpet.

Prof. Roland Crump: Crumpet, crumbit, crampit, well I'm not staying round here much longer, I'm going to the pub to see if they have rooms there.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Maybe you're getting crumpet in pub also?

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: So you are sleeping in caravan?

Prof. Roland Crump: I suppose we could divide it up or something.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: H'ok, if you wishink.

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[Professor Vrooshka cleans her dirty caravan but finds her scrubbing brush isn't up to standard to do the job]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Ahh, scrubber. Scrubber no working, borrowing from comrades.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Excuse please, ahh this is nice, this is very nice, no?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: In this caravan your not getting much crumpet, no?

Arthur Upmore: Pardon?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: CRUMPET.

Arthur Upmore: Yes that's what I thought you said.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am keeping a, how you say, a dirrrty caravan.

Arthur Upmore: Keeping a what?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am having birds in my caravan you want to come and see?

Arthur Upmore: No thank you, not just now.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Therefore, I am going round camp looking for scrubbers.

Arthur Upmore: Really?

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Excuse please, you have scrubbers in caravan?

Ernie Bragg: Certainly not!

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[in the shower block, Linda Upmore tries to find her husband, Arthur]

Linda Upmore: Oh I do beg your pardon, my husband has one just like yours.

Joe Baxter: Hey?

Linda Upmore: It's also creased and wrinkled.

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Tomorrow, we are poking holes all over caravan site.

Prof. Roland Crump: I don't think they would like that at all.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's ok, we are poking early.

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: I'm sorry Major but I'm not loving you.

Maj. Leep: Yes, but...

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, when I love a man I give him everything, I give it all.

Maj. Leep: But I don't want it all, I just want a bit.

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It's time for knocking off!

Prof. Roland Crump: Time for what?

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[In a heavy Russian accent and in reference to the strip teeze]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: It is wrong for a lady to show her kernickers in public, No?

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[Professor Vrooshka objects to the strip teeze act at the Caravan site clubhouse]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: What is lady doing?

Prof. Roland Crump: It's a kind of dance.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Very perculiar, in my country we don't have dance like this.

Prof. Roland Crump: No, you have mixed bathing instead.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: But lady is not taking bath.

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Must be finding doctors. Man is injured.

Ernie Bragg: But what man?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Is professor of archaeology. Is bleeding terrible.

Fred Ramsden: Never mind his qualifications. Is he hurt badly?

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Prof. Anna Vrooshka: [examining a mosaic of Venus that Crump is excavating] Aah! That is a Wenus, no?

Prof. Roland Crump: [puzzled] I beg your pardon?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: [emphatically] It is a Wenus!

Prof. Roland Crump: Well, that's neither one thing nor another.

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Daphne Barnes: Major, I do believe you're trying to get me sloshed.

Maj. Leep: Heavens above, no! There's no need to. What I mean was... only a damn swine would try and get a girl drunk first.

Daphne Barnes: First?

Maj. Leep: Well it would be a damn waste of time getting her drunk afterwards.

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