11 October 1975
The host for the episode is George Carlin, and the musical guests are Billy Preston and Janis Ian. The skits for this episode are as follows: an ESL teacher gives increasingly bizarre sentences to his student, who repeats his every word; until the teacher suffers a fatal heart attack, and the student dutifully acts out an identical "death". New Dad Insurance offers bereaved families a new father to take the place of their deceased one. A distraught rape victim in a courtroom describes the attacker's words in writing, which then confuses an inattentive jurist. Andy Kaufman sings along with a Mighty Mouse record. A reporter interviews the victim of a shark bite who, despite his claims to the contrary, obviously still has all his limbs. Two men, claiming to be a married couple, discuss the benefits of a new vitamin product called Jamitol. A mock ad for pain-reliever Triopenin plays up the product's child-proof caps. Albert Brooks presents a documentary titled "The Impossible Truth," in which he presents several shocking news stories. In the maternity ward of a hospital for bees, father bees anxiously wait to find out if their children will be drones or workers. The Academy of Better Careers offers people an exciting new life answering telephones. Valri Bromfield presents a monologue as a volleyball coach giving some very personal advice to her players before a game. In a mock commercial parodying Lark cigarettes, a truck rolls through town asking people to show their guns. A home security system installer breaks into a couple's home and scares them to death to demonstrate how much they need an alarm installed. Finally, another mock commercial presents 3-bladed razors as an absolute household necessity. During the show, George Carlin performs monologues on blue food, religion, baseball vs. football, and other observations. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports about President Ford blowing his nose and Emperor Hirohito visiting Disneyland. Billy Preston performs "Nothing from Nothing" and "Fancy Lady," while Janis Ian performs "At Seventeen" and "In the Winter".
18 October 1975
The host for the episode is Paul Simon, and the musical guests are Randy Newman and Phoebe Snow. The skits for this episode are as follows: former Chicago Seven member Billy Rubin pitches graffiti wallpaper. The Bees are informed by Paul Simon that their skit has been cut from this week's show. Albert Brooks presents a film of failed Candid Camera-style stunts. A mock commercial demonstrates the strength of Try-Hard batteries in a head-to-head contest powering pacemakers. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports about President's Ford's car accident and Muhammad Ali's newest name change, while Marv Albert reports on a basketball game between Paul Simon and Connie Hawkins.Paul Simon performs "Still Crazy After All These Years," "Marie," "My Little Town," "American Tune," "Loves Me Like a Rock" (with Jesse Dixon), "The Boxer" (with Art Garfunkel), "Scarborough Fair" (with Art Garfunkel), and "Gone at Last" (with Phoebe Snow and Jesse Dixon). Randy Newman performs "Sail Away". Art Garfunkel performs "I Only Have Eyes for You". Phoebe Snow performs "No Regrets".
Season 1, Episode 3: Rob Reiner25 October 1975
The host for the episode is Rob Reiner, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: a man in a wheelchair inadvertently discovers he can walk, but is unable to repeat the miraculous feat. Rob Reiner performs a number of lounge-singer acts. The National Pancreas Association stresses the importance of taking good care of your pancreas. Rob Reiner, together with his wife Penny Marshall, honors some of the more popular fashion faux-pas. The Golden Needles voodoo acupuncture technique offers healing without surgery. Andy Kaufmann sings along with a record of Pop Goes the Weasel. In an interview with Squeaky Fromme, Fromme keeps trying to assassinate the interviewer, only to fail each time. Dance group The Lockers perform a comic dance. A man speaks out against defamation of droolers. An ad for a moving company promotes their skill at moving people from place to place, though not their belongings. A pair of nuns attempt to emcee their church's talent night. Albert Brooks presents a film about heart surgery. Gilda Radner recites a list of things she ate that day. Rob Reiner blows up at having his ending skit interrupted by the Bees, only to have his rant backfire. During the Weekend Update, Don Pardo is kidnapped and used by the kidnappers to announce their demands.
8 November 1975
The host for the episode is Candice Bergen, and the musical guest is Esther Phillips. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford gives an accident-laden introduction to the show. Candice Bergen is interrupted during her monologue by one of the Bees. A commercial informs viewers of the opportunities for wealth by becoming an ambassador. A man demanding to see his CIA file is faced with a seemingly insurmountable pile of disarray. A special on intelligent animals profiles the dangerous land shark. A gay man has fond memories of dressing in his mother's clothes. Catherine Deneuve endorses Chanel perfume. Andy Kaufman's foreign man character attempts to entertain the audience, but bombs terribly. Albert Brooks presents previews of new shows for the coming TV season, including an over-dramatic medical series, a show about a frustrated man living with two women, and a Vietnam vet who becomes a veterinarian. A strange man makes a crank call to an airline and begins talking about torturing the receptionist. A reporter interviewing a third-world dictator keeps playing practical jokes on the leader. A talk show host interviews a controversial black author who is very obviously white. Two men discuss whether one should bring his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving while they play Pong. Esther Phillips performs "What a Difference a Day Makes" and "I Can Stand a Little Rain".
15 November 1975
The host for the episode is Robert Klein, and the musical guests are ABBA and Loudon Wainwright III. The skits for this episode are as follows: Sherry wins the Miss America beauty pageant, but refuses to accept the honor. Two men discuss the results of their latest mid-term exam while playing Pong. One of the Bees delivers an inspirational message for the Bicentennial about moments in Bee history. An interviewer asks Greg Allman about his love life, but Allman keeps trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. Director Sam Peckinpah describes his vision to a new actress, steadily brutalizing her in the process. A parody ad for Jamitol features a husband and his exhausted wife. An exterminator, horrified at the prospect of killing, shows his partner a film about the history of cockroaches. Gilda Radner offers viewers a number of fire safety tips. A commercial offers viewers a way to save money when shopping with their own pricing gun. Emily Litella appears to pitch her new book. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports on President Ford bumping his head on a little girl, George Wallace's next run for president, and the execution of David and Julia Eisenhower. Robert Klein performs "I Can't Stop My Leg". Loudon Wainwright performs "Bicentennial" and "Unrequited to the Nth Degree". ABBA performs "S.O.S." and "Waterloo".
22 November 1975
The host for the episode is Lily Tomlin, but there is no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford attempts to speak to the American people while also answering the phones, and manages to hit his head and tumble over his desk. Beethoven, struggling to come up with a new symphony, creates "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," "My Girl" and "What'd I say?". The Land shark continues to prey on unsuspecting apartment dwellers, but just before the shark hunters can catch it, they are told to cut the skit short. A bellboy at the Atlanta Hotel is shocked to find a white woman and a black man staying together. Young Edith Ann talks about going ice skating with her dog. A commercial introduces Spud Beer for people whose electroshock therapy has rendered them senseless. Women starting work on a construction site take lessons in how to harass passing men. Patty Hearst receives a letter from one of her sorority sisters. A girl at a high school dance gossips with an unseen friend about their classmates. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase reports on CIA assassination attempts, Ronald Reagan's potential bid for the presidency, Franco's death, Eldridge Cleaver's return to America, and a new Peanuts character. Lily Tomlin performs "St. James Infirmary," "I Got You Babe" and "Bee Scat".
13 December 1975
The host for the episode is Richard Pryor, and the musical guest is Gil Scott-Heron. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris tricks Chevy Chase into taking a bad fall during a skit. Richard Pryor does an opening monologue about why he doesn't drink or take LSD. A man checks into a hotel managed by a samurai who speaks no English. A black author talks about his latest book in which he disguises himself as white. A woman tries to identify her attacker from a series of stacked line-ups. An interview for a job using word association turns racially tense. Two men discuss a hockey game while playing Pong. A father complaining that blacks are taking over is oblivious to the fact that his entire family has turned black. A major accidentally uses a piece of new equipment that was intended for emergencies. In a sequel to The Exorcist, Regan manages to push both priests over the edge. Albert Brooks tries to make another film while sick in bed. Richard Pryor witnesses a conspiracy theorist get gunned down just before announcing the truth about the JFK assassination. Shelly Pryor sings a song about carousel horses. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase comments on homosexuality in sports, Kissinger's accent, and Franco's continuing death. Emily Litella delivers an impassioned speech on busting children. Gil Scott-Heron performs "Johannesburg" and "A Lovely Day".
20 December 1975
The host for the episode is Candice Bergen (her second appearance), and the musical guests are Martha Reeves and The Stylistics. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford delivers a special message for Christmas and falls out of a tree. An ad for a restaurant where customers can choose their cow, kill it and butcher it. A boy calls home from the police station to tell his parents he's killed 26 people. Candice Bergen invites people to send home movies to NBC, then shows her own movie of herself ice skating with the Bees. A young man comes out of the closet and admits to his family that he's an elf. A pair of strangers at a laundromat share a vicarious romance through their clothes. Two men discuss the prowess one of them has at pinball, while playing Pong. Gilda Radner lists off the things she ate at last year's Christmas. Margaret Kuhn delivers an inspirational message about growing old, and Gary Weiss presents a film about travelers returning home for the holidays. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman comments on the New Year's festivities, even though it's still a week early, while Chevy Chase reports from the wrong location and Emily Litella gets worked up over firing the handicapped. Martha Reeves performs "Higher & Higher" and "Silver Bells". The Stylistics perform "You Make Me Feel Brand New". Candice Bergen performs "Winter Wonderland".
10 January 1976
The host for the episode is Elliott Gould, and the musical guest is Anne Murray. The skits for this episode are as follows: A quartet of dead musicians perform a piece. Elliott Gould sings during his opening monologue. Gilda Radner and Elliott profess their love for each other through the course of the show and get married. A housewife is caught off guard when a couple of workmen come to destroy her home. The Godfather talks about his feelings about the Tattaglia family in a group therapy session. A commercial presents Shimmer, a combination floor wax and dessert topping. Gary Weis presents a film on lounge singers performing "Misty". A family is trapped in their home by a swarm of killer bees, but before the matter can be resolved the cameras suddenly go off-balance. Forcing Lorne Michaels to confront a drunken control-room director. Albert Brooks presents a film about using audience research to judge his work. Two American Indians speak at a press conference to give their views on stereotyping. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman comments on toxic nerve agents, while Chevy Chase once again gets lost on his way to a story. Anne Murray performs "Long Distance Call" and "Boogie With You".
17 January 1976
The host for the episode is Buck Henry, and the musical guests are Bill Withers, Toni Basil and The Blues Brothers. The skits for this episode are as follows: A suicide hot-line operator tries and fails to prevent a caller from killing himself. Buck Henry gives a self-effacing speech during the opening monologue, while notices superimposed on the screen tell the real story. A man orders a sandwich at a restaurant run by a samurai. President Ford learns of a new campaign strategy to make him look more intelligent. A speed-reading course is presented that helps people read faster, but not better. A sequel to Citizen Kane is presented in which a reporter investigates Kane's other last words. A mechanic tells his daughter nothing but automotive bedtime stories. Gary Weis presents a film with Buck Henry looking for the funniest person on the streets of New York. Michael O'Donoghue does an imitation of Michael Douglas with needles in his eyes. A spokesman for the American Constipation Society discusses the social pain that constipation causes. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase once again gets lost while tracking down a story, while a guest commentator rails against masturbation. Bill Withers performs "Ain't No Sunshine". Toni Basil performs "Wham Re-Bop Boom Bam". The Blues Brothers perform "King Bee".
24 January 1976
The hosts for the episode are Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and the musical guest is Neil Sedaka. The skits for this episode are as follows: A bomb squad is called in to investigate a mysterious package, but unfortunately does not defuse it in time. A casting director for a new Tarzan movie is faced with an aspiring actor auditioning for the lead role, despite having one leg. A maximum-security prison holds auditions for a production of Gigi, in which several of the inmates perform songs they've prepared. Don Pardo presents a luxury vacation plan from inside an elevator. A reporter interviews the owner of the Frog and Peach restaurant about their choice of cuisine. Gary Weis presents a film about novelty store items. A British version of Sonny & Cher sing their own rendition of "I Got You Babe" that turns nasty. A reporter conducts an interview with a male-impersonator actress named Sheila. A team of doctors decides to harvest a body for organs after their patient dies, even though the patient is raising protests. Matthew interviews a shepherd who saw the Baby Jesus for the new Gospel he's working on. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase gets a wrong number while trying to reach an Angolan prison, Emily Litella gets confused over Soviet Jewelry, and Laraine Newman conducts interviews in the street on the topic of abortion. Neil Sedaka performs "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" and "Lonely Night".
31 January 1976
The host for the episode is Dick Cavett, and the musical guest is Jimmy Cliff. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris uses voodoo to get Chevy to fall down. Commercials attempt to draw students into The Dick Cavett School of Auto Refinishing and The Dick Cavett School of Hydroplane Operation. An accounting firm talks about just how far they'll go to lower their customers' tax bills. Dick Cavett does his version of "Our Town" about New York City, a swell place where crime is rampant and nothing works. Betty Ford gives a personal advice talk where she compares life's problems with dancing. Gary Weis presents a film about a tailor and a plastic surgeon altering each other. An author pitches his new book about pimping in Nebraska. For the Weekend Update, one of the reporters finally reaches Angola, where she is accosted by horny mercenaries, and Emily Litella expresses her displeasure over the Eagle Rights Amendment. Jimmy Cliff performs "The Harder They Come," "Many Rivers to Cross" and "Wahjaka Man".
14 February 1976
The host for the episode is Peter Boyle, and the musical guest is Al Jarreau. The skits for this episode are as follows: A restaurant customer in 1929 Chicago asks the waiter to park his car for him, sending the man into the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Peter Boyle sings a love song to his girlfriend for the opening monologue, oblivious to the fact that she's making out with another man. The Samurais decide to get divorced and must go about splitting their assets, as well as dividing custody of their daughter. Three little girls lip-sync a Natalie Cole song. A pair of drugged-out hippies invite their neighbor in after he receives some of their mail. Ricardo Montalban pitches a new car that seems to be falling apart. The Bees take on the Wasps in a tag-team wrestling match. A reporter interviews "Mr. X", Richard Nixon in disguise, over his new activities. Gary Weis presents a film of children reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Two Brando impersonators have a quote duel. A woman convinces her suspicious husband that all the men he finds in their house are actually household appliances. Garrett Morris recites an obscene valentine for a shocked Gilda Radner. For the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase comments on Patty Hearst and the Winter Olympics, while Emily Litella rants about money spent on canker research. Al Jarreau performs "We Got By" and "Somebody's Watching You".
21 February 1976
The host for the episode is Desi Arnaz, and the musical guest is Desi Arnaz, Jr. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford receives a word-association test from his psychiatrist that ends with him falling over. Desi Arnaz gives his opening monologue, in which he thanks the cast for the special cigars they gave him. Prisoner Ruben Carter talks about how he gets recognized in prison now because of his National Express card. A man receives consoling from his friends when his 40th birthday doesn't go as he had hoped. Vampire Luciana Vermicelli shares her beauty tips. Desi Arnaz recites Jabberwocky in a very heavy Cuban accent. Desi and his son share some of the initial failed ideas that were proposed before "I Love Lucy" was picked up by the network. An extremely white man named Very White attempts to perform a love song in a soul club. A gangster's wife, named Lucy, gives her husband the wrong gun. Lucy shares some of her more extreme costume ideas with Ethel before sneaking into Ricky's club. A Cuban acupuncture doctor uses cigars on his patients instead of needles. Lucy talks about the new book that her husband has coming out. Jane Curtain shares an important moment in American lesbian history. Desi Arnaz and Desi Arnaz, Jr. perform "Cuban Pete" and "Babalu".
28 February 1976
Mr. Bill makes his first appearance.
13 March 1976
The host for the episode is Anthony Perkins, and the musical guest is Betty Carter. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase delivers a long and rambling monologue in which he berates critics who claim the cast deliberately wastes time to fill up a 90-minute time slot. In his opening monologue, Anthony Perkins attempts to dispel the common perception that he is creepy, only to finish by eating a fly. President Ford shares his thoughts on marijuana usage. A new dominatrix cleaning service tries to whip lazy housewives into shape. Norman Bates pitches his new school of hotel management, only to be interrupted by his unseen mother. During the weekend update, John Belushi ponders why lions and lambs were chosen to represent March weather and what greater significance they may have, while Emily Litella gets upset over calls to preserve natural race horses. A student complains to her teacher about getting a literal Bee as her grade. A set of movie trailers advertise low-budget horror films in the style of Psycho. Other skits include land scarcity and intra-office extramarital romance. Betty Carter performs "Music, Maestro, Please", "Swing Brother Swing" and "I Can't Help It".
17 April 1976
The host for the episode is press secretary to President Ford Ron Nessen, and the musical guest is Patti Smith. The skits for this episode are as follows: The opening act features a return of the dead string quartet. Ron Nessen's opening monologue includes a message from the actual President Ford. An ad for the Bass o' Matic promises a new way for viewers to enjoy bass. Nessen asks the president for permission to appear on a new comedy show, then briefs his boss on his daily schedule. A string of jam advertisers pitch products with increasingly disgusting names, since they must taste good to sound so repulsive. A number of skits feature historic figures like Catherine the Great, Oedipus and Thomas Jefferson. During the Weekend Update, Emily Litella becomes upset over presidential erections. Gary Weis presents a film about the dumps that handle New York's garbage, and the men who work there. An ad pitches new Autumn Fizz carbonated douche. Billy Crystal performs a stand-up routine about the old-time jazz greats he used to know. Re-run ads pitch graffiti wallpaper and Try-hard batteries. Patti Smith performs "Gloria" and "My Generation".
24 April 1976
Lorne Michaels tries to lure the Beatles onto the show. Baba Wawa makes her first appearance.
8 May 1976
The host for this episode is Madeline Kahn, and the musical guest is Carly Simon. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ronald Reagan attempts to demonstrate that he's in tune with modern black culture, only to get punched out by the musician he keeps inadvertently insulting. A preview for the upcoming series, Wilderness Comedian, presents a man who does stand-up comedy for animals. Baba Wawa attempts to interview Marlene Dietrich, but neither can understand what the other is saying. At a slumber party, several girls are disgusted by the thought of how babies are made. A spokesman for impoverished families in Namibia asks people to please donate their fondue sets. The Bride of Frankenstein gets up from her slab and sings "I Feel Pretty". During the Weekend Update, Emily Litella wonders why everyone is upset over violins on television. Pat Nixon drunkenly writes her memoirs about Richard's nervous breakdown during his final days in the White House. Madeline Kahn performs "Lost in the Stars" and Carly Simon performs "You're So Vain" and "Half a Chance".
15 May 1976
The host for the episode is Dyan Cannon, and the musical guests are Leon & Mary Russell. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase, lying on his back after a tremendous fall, is informed that the control room clock was running fast and he'll have to do it all again to get it on air. During her opening monologue, Dyan Cannon confesses to a lifelong dream of being swept off her feet by a man on a white horse, and during the rest of the show, different male cast members attempt to re-interpret its meaning to make themselves her dream man. A woman takes a taste test to see which is better: a new diet soda or a glass of phlegm. Participants in a hearing test don't notice that their teacher has been taken hostage by a pair of wanted criminals. A husband catches her wife having an affair, but the woman and her lover make up an outrageous story to explain everything. A Bulgarian travel agent attempts to convince a woman to vacation in Bulgaria. During the Weekend Update, a man claims to have a new version of Howard Hughes' will. Anita Bryant attempts to pitch Florida orange juice while being held hostage in Beirut. A priest tries to deliver a funeral eulogy, but is interrupted by a bad case of hiccups. Roy Waddmaker attempts to sell bathwater of the stars. A soldier gets berated by his drill sergeant for repeatedly flubbing his lines in a recruitment ad. A teenage girl is hoping to make an impression on her dream date, but her parents discover that her date is actually three Hell's Angels. In an home movie, a hubcap thief gets caught up in his work and dragged around town by an oblivious driver. Leon and Mary Russell perform "Satisfy You" and "Daylight"(with John Belushi as Joe Cocker).
22 May 1976
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his second appearance), and the musical guest is Gordon Lightfoot. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase announces that because he broke his ankle accepting his Emmy Award, his fall will be done by Laraine Newman, but Laraine instead shoves him off the stage. Buck Henry is supposed to come on for his opening monologue, but is nowhere to be found; after a frantic search, the crew discovers that the security guards don't recognize him and won't let him in the building. Lounge singer Peter Lemon advertises a mood ring that changes color as he sings. The samurai tailor performs alterations on a customer's suit. The host of a call-in show tries to get more controversial when nobody calls him. A restaurant owner invites guest to try his all-toad cuisine. During the Weekend Update, the Patty Hearst trial is reenacted with fruit. Lorne Michaels repeats his offer to the Beatles, adding another $200 to the deal. Baba Wawa interviews film director Lina W. Gary Weis presents a film of Buck Henry interviewing people shopping for toilet seats. Jane Curtain interviews the author of a new sex book, only to find he is painfully shy. Garrett Morris sings "An Die Musik" and Michael O'Donaghue does an impression of Tony Orlando and Dawn with needles stuck in their eyes. Gordon Lightfoot performs "Summertime Dream" and "Spanish Moss".
29 May 1976
The host for the episode is Elliott Gould (his second appearance), and the musical guests are Leon Redbone (his second appearance), Harlan Collins and Joyce Everson. The skits for this episode include scenes inside a wax museum and a European poker player, as well as a presentation by Shirley Temple Black. Re-run ads inform viewers how they can join the fast-paced life of stand-by operators, and asks America to show their guns. A doctor warns a woman that she's been neglecting the proper care of her uvula. The crew of The Enterprise faces their final foe: network executives coming to announce that the series has been canceled. During the Weekend Update, Emily Litella lends Chevy Chase a hand in reading the news after one of the stories flops. An ad pitches the new Vibramatic personal massager for tense muscles. The Bees put on a performance of The Honeymooners. Leon Redbone performs "Shine On, Harvest Moon" and "Walking Stick" and Harlan Collins & Joyce Everson perform "Heaven Only Knows".
24 July 1976
The host for the episode is Louise Lasser, and the musical guest is The Preservation Hall Jazz Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Belushi and Chevy Chase have an argument over how the opening to the show should be done. After Louise Lasser's opening monologue, General Idi Amin comes on to warn viewers about the importance of checking oneself for V.D., using himself as an example of the effects of advanced-stage syphilis. In a parody of Swedish films, a couple involved in a secret affair fool death by sending him out for a pizza. An advertisement pitches potholders made from human hair. Chevy Chase presents the Weekend Update, with a special segment on Olga Korbut. Two teenage girls discuss the hazards of dating with a padded bra and whether they'd want to see a guy naked. The Preservation Hall Jazz Band performs "Panama".
31 July 1976
The host for the episode is Kris Kristofferson, and the musical guest is Rita Coolidge. The skits for this episode are as follows: Kris Kristofferson sings "Help Me Make It Through The Night" after Chevy Chase falls out of bed, where he was with musical guest Rita Coolidge. After Kris' monologue, secretary Sherry Norwalk talks about how she got a job at SNL helping the writers come up with ideas by having sex with them. The Samurai general practitioner treats one of his patients. Jesse Owens presents a set of commemorative medals honoring white athletes. A clip from a new TV show called Police State is shown, about two cops in Los Angeles who respond to every call by killing anyone they encounter and then talking about where to go eat. Kris Kristofferson talks about how viewers can overcome the handicap of a good education to become successful country music stars. Kris gets reunited with the original Bobby McGee, only to find that she's now become a straight-laced suburban housewife married to a jealous handbag salesman. A woman gets set up for a blind date, only to discover that the date is her gynecologist. Two tramps wait around for a mysterious philosopher named Pardo. Kris Kristofferson performs "I've Got a Life of My Own", Rita Coolidge performs " Hula Hoop", and together they perform "Eddie the Eunuch".
18 September 1976
The host for the episode is Lily Tomlin (her second appearance), and the musical guest is James Taylor. The skits for this episode are as follows: For the opening skit, everyone is waiting around for Lily Tomlin to arrive, but she shows up late and announces she's not going to bother rehearsing for the show. After Lily's opening monologue, she begins talking about what she really thinks of the show, thinking that her microphone is off. President Ford gets into a strange debate with Jimmy Carter. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman reports on an outbreak of Legionnaire's disease and Emily Litella wonders about crustaceans hijacking airplanes. Ernestine the operator talks about why phone service is unreliable and why they don't care. A housewife is persuaded to perform a series of increasingly bizarre stunts. Lily finishes the show performing The Antler Dance with the SNL band. James Taylor performs "Shower the People", "Road Runner" and "Sweet Baby James".
25 September 1976
The host for the episode is Norman Lear, and the musical guest is Boz Scaggs. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase, in the hospital after injuring himself in the previous episode, coaches Gilda Radner through the opening via telephone. Norman Lear gets to hear what the actors in his shows really think of him. Jimmy Carter discusses lust in his heart and looks forward to more lusting as president. Norman Lear reviews the pilot of a new show about a family of snake handlers in Pittsburgh. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain discusses the Ford-Carter debate, Patty Hearst's sentencing, Elton John's sexuality and the sex lives of nuns, while Laraine Newman reports from Times Square for the upcoming Jewish New Year. The women of SNL sing a get-well song for Chevy, wishing he would fall for them. A spokesman from the U.S. Council of Standards and Measures talks about the advantages of switching over to metric time. A divorce lawyer gets rough with his client while trying to make her claims sound believable. Boz Scaggs performs "Low Down" and "What Can I Say?"
2 October 1976
The host for the episode is Eric Idle, and the musical guests are Joe Cocker and Stuff. The skits for this episode are as follows: A Chevy Chase impersonator attempts to do the opening fall. Eric Idle starts to perform a song, but is convinced by Jane Curtain to put it off until the end of the show. A young couple discusses assembling their new child with the help of a geneticist who presents them with bizarre options. A DJ attempts to work two stations simultaneously, maintaining opposite personas for each one. Baba Wawa talks to America about why she's leaving NBC. During the Weekend Update, Jane discusses the Norton-Ali fight, while Garrett Morris reports on the circumcision of Michelangelo's David. The Rutles trick Lorne Michaels into giving them the money for the Beatles reunion. Dan Aykroyd and Eric Idle dress up in drag, only to be told by John Belushi that American audiences don't find it funny. Dan and Eric begin drag racing, running around the studio in women's clothing. Jacques Cousteau talks about the care and feeding of fish, pouring all sorts of items into his fish tank. Ken Norton insists that he's a better boxer than Ali, despite losing the close-fought match. Erica Viedonagen ponders whether comedians from outer space visited Earth in the past. Two college guys talk about their math test while playing Pong. Joe Cocker performs "You Are So Beautiful" and "Feelin' Alright" (with John Belushi). Stuff performs "Foots".
16 October 1976
The host for the episode is Karen Black, and the musical guest is John Prine. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase returns after his injury and is pushed out of his wheelchair by John Belushi. Karen Black talks about her son and great mothers in history during her opening monologue. Baba Wawa interviews Indira Gandhi. Ford and Carter have another unusual debate. A re-run ad pitches amazing new triple-bladed razors. Amish crime fighters help out victims when catching crooks quickly isn't a priority. A wife feeds her husband Green Cross cupcakes since they're guaranteed not to cause cancer. Catherine the Great takes her horse as her new lover. A high school loser meets up with a former cheerleader at the lunch counter at Woolworth's and completely fails to make a good impression. Mr. Bill goes to a party where he suffers a variety of physical abuse. John Belushi sings "One for the Road" while a caption lists the number of crimes he's committed. John Prine performs "Hello in There" and "The Bottomless Lake". Karen Black sings "Ten Cents a Dance".
23 October 1976
The host for the episode is Steve Martin, and the musical guest is Kinky Friedman. The skits for this episode are as follows: The coach of the Yankees consoles his team after losing the World Series, and one of the players gives him their final decision. Chevy Chase attempts to make an endorsement for milk, but keeps adding in its less pleasant effects. An episode of Jeopardy from 1999 gives a look at some social changes in the future. During the Weekend Update, Chevy comments on Jimmy Carter's cross-dressing, the latest election poll results, a mafia funeral in a pizza oven, and a gorilla crashing an airplane. An ad features a new combination watch and German Shepherd. Several counter-culture acts perform in a late-50's beatnik café. Jane Curtain interviews the author of a book analyzing the connection between sexual activity and sports performance. Mary Tyler Moore gets murdered by Ted before their newscast as a prank. A new diet plan works by stranding dieters out in the wilderness with an Eskimo who steals their food. Kinky Friedman performs "Dear Abbie".
30 October 1976
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his third appearance), and the musical guest is The Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: The land shark makes its return, pretending to be a late trick-or-treater. In his opening monologue, Buck Henry praises the cast for being able to perform so professionally in light of how absolutely messed up their personal lives are. The samurai stockbroker loses one of his clients after a string of bad advice. Baba Wawa has a joint interview with First Ladies Betty Ford and Rosalynn Carter. Garrett Morris discuss his own roots, including some famous ancestors. Ford and Carter have another debate, this time in the form of a beauty pageant. During the Weekend Update, Chevy Chase presents some campaign ads that haven't been used yet, while Jane Curtain announces that Chevy will soon be leaving the show. A warlock pitches the new Bat-o-Matic potion maker. Ambassador Thorne searches for the real parents of Damien, the son of Satan. Garrett gives a report from the grave of Houdini for the 50th anniversary of his death and sees a ghost. Mr. Mike tells a bedtime story about a little Eskimo boy who freezes to death. The Band performs "Life is a Carnival", "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down", "Stage Fright" and "Georgia On My Mind".
13 November 1976
The host for the episode is Dick Cavett (his second appearance), and the musical guest is Ry Cooder. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Chroma-Trak girl gets her colors mixed up during broadcast. Dick Cavett fields questions from the audience during his opening monologue. John Dean looks back on Nixon trying to frame him for Watergate. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman reports on the death and cremation of Smokey the Bear. A marine walks down the street, looking to pick up a few good men. A psychiatrist makes house calls. The Bees talk about how they were able to overcome discrimination. Mr. Mike tells a bedtime story about a blind chicken. A pair of scientists look into the question of why some words are funnier than others. Ry Cooder performs "Tattler" and "He'll Have To Go".
20 November 1976
The host for the episode is Paul Simon (his second appearance), and the musical guest is George Harrison. The skits for this episode are as follows: George Harrison feels that he should receive the $3000 Lorne Michaels promised the Beatles for appearing on the show, while Paul Simon has doubts about the costume he's been asked to wear. Paul Simon starts to sing "Still Crazy After All These Years" dressed as a turkey, but gives up halfway through and tells Lorne he won't do it. A housewife raves about mineral-packed Quarry cereal. Baba Wawa interviews Henry Kissenger. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on contraceptives, expenditures by the Carter campaign, Morris the Cat's attempted suicide, and a new strain of gonorrhea. Rod Serling presents an episode of the Twilight Zone in which three actresses end up in a motel room with a television show presenter. A violent renegade named Billy Paul fights racism at an ice cream parlor. Paul Simon performs "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover", "Something So Right" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Paul Simon and George Harrison perform "Here Comes the Sun" and "Homeward Bound". George Harrison performs "Crackerbox Palace" and "This Song".
27 November 1976
The host for the episode is Jodie Foster, and the musical guest is Brian Wilson. The skits for this episode are as follows: Gilda Radner opens the show to explain why she won't be appearing much, while caption explain that she's been fired. Jodie Foster explains in her opening monologue that she's treated just like every other guest even though she's just 14. Chevy Chase advertises convenient feedbag dinners. Two Bees come into a girl's room claiming they're Peter Pan and Tinkerbee. Jodie demonstrates the new Puberty Helper to get teens through their awkward years. A man tries to get through the security gate at the airport, but his personal fetish causes a problem. An SNL fan is interviewed on why he likes the program. A schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher tries to say goodbye for the summer. For his 50th birthday, the cast re-enact the life of Don Pardo. A man is shocked to discover that his wife of six years isn't black. Mr. Mike tells Jodie a story about a little train that died. Brian Wilson performs "Back Home", "Love is a Woman" and "Good Vibrations".
11 December 1976
The host for the episode is Candice Bergen (her third appearance), and the musical guest is Frank Zappa. The skits for this episode are as follows: For the opening, Patty Hearst enjoys a Christmas back with her family. Instead of doing her opening monologue, Candice Bergen hides in her dressing room and has to be coaxed out by John Belushi doing a Humphrey Bogart impression. President-elect Carter admits he can't follow through on all the things he promised during the campaign. A pitchman convinces a woman to use Santi-Wrap before sitting on the lap of a disreputable Santa. Irwin Mainway defends the safety of his company's obviously unsafe toys. A re-run ad promotes saving money with your own pricing gun. A woman defends her right to be extremely stupid. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain's husband urges her to quit SNL and come home, after which Jane comments on Amy Carter, Olga Korbut's marriage and the killing of Rudolph the Reindeer, while Emily Litella doesn't think people should give money to unisex. Candice advertises an instant camera that dispenses cheese slices. Two police officers investigate a string of murders perpetrated by trees. Candice announces that John has no place to spend Christmas and asks someone to adopt him for the holiday. The cast perform a song hoping that Gary Gilmore gets his wish to be executed as soon as possible. Frank Zappa performs "The Slime", "Lagoon" and "Peaches & Regalia".
15 January 1977
The host for the episode is Ralph Nader, and the musical guest is George Benson. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ralph Nader announces that he's going to relax and have fun for this week's show, but soon begins lecturing everyone on safety hazards throughout the studio. During Ralph's opening monologue, he rails against NBC's parent corporation, RCA, only to be cut off by a technical glitch. A grandfather waiting for his grandson to call starts ranting about the boy's thoughtlessness. A convict goes through a dress rehearsal for a televised execution. Baba Wawa pitches her new show featuring her talking to herself. Ralph has a dream in which President Carter explains his plan to revive the Confederacy. During the Weekend Update, John Belushi calls in to complain that nobody's visited him in the hospital and gets upset that everyone is so happy that Bill Murray has joined the cast, Jane Curtain reports on the change in administrations and the sentencing of Claudine Longet, and Emily Litella wonders why people want to make Puerto Rico a steak. Andy Kaufman performs several Elvis songs. Beldar and Prymaat Conehead explain the family's origins to their daughter Connie before her big date. Ralph performs stress tests on inflatable sex dolls. Teens ask Ralph questions about himself and his work that belie their lack of awareness. George Benson performs "Masquerade" and "Gonna Love You More".
22 January 1977
The host for the episode is Ruth Gordon, and the musical guest is Chuck Berry. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Belushi's doctor announces that he will cut off the cast's drug supply if they don't put John in tonight's show. Barbra Streisand performs a song that's all about herself. Emily Litella visits with her sister to talk about current events. Dino De Laurentis gives an interview with Tom Snyder about his new remake of King Kong, claiming that his ape was much easier to work with than the original Kong. During the Weekend Update, Laraine Newman interviews President Carter's mother, and Jane Curtain reports on the inauguration, a restaurant hold up, and elections in India, then scolds Emily Litella for not preparing a report this week. In a Gary Weis film, Garrett Morris' girlfriend complains about his long absences. An elderly woman takes a job as a hooker. A little girl and her babysitter compare notes on where babies come from. Mr. Bill gets chopped apart by Sluggo the Magician. Ricky Jay performs several magic tricks for the audience. E. Buzz Miller gets turned on by an anthropologist's film about a remote native tribe. Mr. Mike tells a bedtime story about a worm who gets run over by a truck. Chuck Berry performs "Johnny B. Goode" and "Marie & Carol".
29 January 1977
The host for the episode is Fran Tarkenton, and the musical guests are Leo Sayer and The Donny Harper Singers. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Belushi gives Fran Tarkenton a pre-game pep talk. Bill Murray provides color commentary as Fran sings "Feelings" for his opening monologue. A salesman pitches multi-purpose Swiss Army guns. Amy Carter goes to class and uses the Secret Service to cheat on a quiz. A football coach sends his player back in the game, despite his missing a limb. Garrett Morris interviews Fran on the subject of black quarterbacks. A husband and wife open a restaurant in their home, but their constant fighting disrupts the mood. Fran pitches an anabolic steroid cereal. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain responds to critics who don't think the show is sexy enough, and comments on women priests and Gerald Ford's post-president activities. An appeal to the community is made to help get John Belushi off the streets. John and Fran do a sketch in a hotel room together, but John keeps trying to show Fran how to do it right. An ad presents perfumes tailored to different types of women. A woman tries to explain her purchases to a credit claims reviewer, but they end up in a one-upmanship competition. Leo Sayer performs "When I Need You" and "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing", and The Donny Harper Singers perform "Sing a Song".
20 February 1977
There's no host for this broadcast. Randy Newman is the musical guest for this episode, which is performed live in New Orleans for the Mardi Gras celebration. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter attempts to inspire Americans with a speech delivered from the rear end of a statue of Andrew Jackson on his horse, while Rosalyn frets over the fact that Jimmy has been up there for two days. For his opening monologue, Randy Newman sings about the floods that damaged New Orleans, then announces that SNL teams are in place to cover the passing of the Bacchus Parade. Jane Curtain and Buck Henry report on the crowds in the street, then watch the traditional 'Let's hit Al Hirt in the Mouth with a Brick!' contest, in which Al Hirt gets pelted with debris as he attempts to play the trumpet. A repeat ad pitches Quarry, the breakfast cereal made entirely of minerals. Three women complain about the lack of men at the parade, then get picked up by a gang of biker bees. Garrett Morris performs a selection of songs by Fats Domino, but can only play the same bar of music for each. A Gary Weis film features an interview with a man who paints above-ground tombs in a cemetery. Tom Snyder stands in front of the Pink Lady strip club, where he interviews a bouncer named Honker and a dancer named Velocity. As Buck and Jane continue to wait for the Bacchus Parade to arrive, Baba Wawa interviews Henry Winkler on how he separates his own persona from his character, The Fonz. Ricky Mussolini performs a re-enactment of his grandfather's historic visit to New Orleans. Eric Idle attempts to interview Mardi Gras revelers, but the French Quarter café he's in is completely deserted. Another Gary Weis film shows a montage of signs all using the word Dixie. Penny Marshall reports from the Krewe of Apollo Ball, where all the attendees, both débutantes and escorts, are men. Stanley Kowalski stands in the street shouting for Stella, only to find he's in front of the wrong building. Paul Schaffer sings the Antler Dance song, while Mr. Mike dances and gets pelted with objects from the crowds. For the Weekend Update, Garrett Morris receives the combination to the city from Mayor Landrieau, Evel Kenivel jumps the Mardi Gras parade in his hospital bed, Larraine Newman interviews a man carrying on the Mardi Gras tradition of taping mice to his eyes, and Emily Litella interviews a liver-boat captain. Captain Jean Lafitte insists that, despite his historical reputation, he is not a pirate. Back at the Krewe of Apollo Ball Penny Williams and Cindy Marshall report on the crowning of the Queen of the Ball. Back on the parade route, Buck and Jane give up on the Bacchus Parade showing up, and wish everyone a good night. Randy Newman performs "Louisiana 1927", "Marie", "Kingfish" and "Sail Away", and The New Leviathan Oriental Fox Trot Orchestra performs "Rebecca Came Back From Mecca".
26 February 1977
The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his second appearance), and the musical guest is The Kinks. The skits for this episode are as follows: Steve gets hostility from the cast over his treatment of Gilda since the last show. For his opening monologue, Steve gets happy feet, talks about his goals, then mentions what drugs he and the cast are going to take after the show. The Coneheads receive a visit from the IRS. Jackie Onassis enters a celebrity weightlifting contest. A diet book promises weight loss by using the pages of the book itself as meals. A doctor advises parents to pull the plug on their comatose son, only to have him wake up just as they are about to do it. A celebrity bingo game can't get started because all the time is wasted making introductions. Alex Haley talks about some of his lesser known ancestors. A couple who meet in a singles bar share all the same bizarre quirks. The Kinks perform "You Really Got Me Going", "All Day And All of the Night", "Well-Respected Man", "Lola" and "Sleepwalker".
12 March 1977
The host for the episode is Sissy Spacek, and the musical guest is Richard Baskin. The skits for this episode are as follows: Following the death of director Dave Wilson, the show's future is in jeopardy. Sissy Spacek performs a baton twirling scene that was cut from Carrie. A burger restaurant prepares burgers according to the customers' bizarre specifications. President Carter answers call-in questions with very specific answers. A doctor is interviewed about a condition called quintlexia, which he suffers from. John Belushi announces that he's retiring from show business to train for the Olympic decathlon. During the Weekend Update, Muhammad Ali announces that he's making his own Rocky-style movie, and Emily Litella wonders why anyone cares about endangered feces. Al Franken and Tom Davis report the news live from World War III. Three women suffer from Gidget's Disease, causing intolerable cuteness. Leonard Pinth-Garnell presents 'The Millkeeper', a Bad Playhouse Production. Richard Baskin performs "One I Love You" (with Sissy Spacek) and "City of One Night Stands".
19 March 1977
The host for the episode is Broderick Crawford, and the musical guests are Levon Helm, Dr. John and The Meters. The skits for this episode are as follows: Rhonda Weiss and the Rhondettes sing a goodbye song to saccharine. Broderick Crawford recounts his first failed attempt to work for NBC. The samurai hit-man carries out his work disguised as a chef at Benihana. Mel's Hide Heaven lets people pick the animal they want their clothes made from. Bill Murray makes a plea to the audience for more support. A parody of I Love Lucy has Lucy putting whipped cream on nuclear warheads as they come down a conveyor belt and not being able to keep up. During the Weekend Update, John Belushi talks about the luck of the Irish and whips himself into a raging frenzy. A Siamese twin holds his twin brother hostage in a police standoff. Baba Wawa does an interview with Godzilla. President Nixon seeks advice and solace from J. Edgar Hoover. Dr. John performs "Sing, Sing, Sing", Levon Helm performs "Ain't That a Lot of Love" and The Meters perform "I Got to Get My Name Up in Lights".
26 March 1977
The host for the episode is Jack Burns, and the musical guest is Santana. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Belushi holds the network hostage and has to be tricked into saying the opening lines. Jack Burns gets to touch himself during the opening monologue. The Farbers invite the Coneheads over for drinks and dinner. A marine couple is married by a tough chaplain. Eliot Ness overthrows Indira Gandhi as part of the Untouchables. During the Weekend Update, the winners of the Oscars are announced from envelopes stolen before the ceremony. A pharmacist prescribes leeches for all his customers. Jack ruins a skit about a despondent businessman committing suicide and the rest of the cast all heckle him. Ricardo Montalban introduces a panty-gram service to send messages to friends and loved ones. Santana performs "Black Magic Woman" and "Europa".
9 April 1977
The host for the episode is Julian Bond, and the musical guests are Tom Waits and Brick. The skits for this episode are as follows: Emily Litella sings that her lover makes her feel like a national woman. An accountant advertises his tax preparation services from behind bars. On Black Perspectives, Julian Bond explains that light-skinned blacks are smarter than dark-skinned blacks. The mysterious Dr. X helps counsel a family through their problems. A model for Ebony advertises a hair lustre that comes in a fist-shaped can. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain is drowned out by the noise of a passing Concorde. In an ad for soup, the narrator forces a little girl to stick corn up her nose. Leonard Plith-Garnell reviews bad cinema. The Farbers talk to Julian Bond about racial tolerance. Mr. Mike tells his version of the Brer Rabbit story to Uncle Remus, in which the folk hero is skinned and eaten. Patti Smith talks about censorship in a Gary Weis film. George Wallace tries to rehabilitate the South's tarnished image. Tom Waits performs "Eggs & Sausages" and Brick performs "Dazz".
16 April 1977
The host for the episode is Eliott Gould (his third appearance), and the musical guests are Kate & Anna McGarrigle and Roslyn Kind. The skits for this episode are as follows: Soviet Premier Brezhnev negotiates an appearance on the Tonight Show. Eliot Gould sings "The Castration Walk" for his open monologue. The Coneheads have 35 phones installed in their house, and receive an emissary from Remulak who asks about their progress. A men's advocacy group offers inspirational advice for men, as well as a rape hot-line. During the Weekend Update, Bill Murray reports on an anti-porn rally, while John Belushi describes weather for shut-ins. Lounge singer Nick performs for a resort audience. A face bank keeps donated faces to give to the faceless. A Gary Weis film shows fights at sporting events to the tune of "America the Beautiful". A customer must go through a series of strict security tests to use an ATM. Kate & Anna McGarrigle perform "Kiss & Say Goodbye" and "Heart Like a Wheel". Roslyn Kind performs "I'm Not Anyone".
23 April 1977
The host for the episode is Eric Idle (his second appearance), and the musical guests are Alan Price and Neil Innes. The skits for this episode are as follows: A British soldier interrogates an Irish prisoner by torturing a potato. During his opening monologue, Eric Idle joins the Queen in hosting a telethon to help save England, and over the course of the show manages to raise $20. The pot growers of America urge everyone to buy locally. Nixon gives an interview to David Frost but turns out to be terribly boring. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on an iceberg floating from Antarctica, Alex Haley being accused of plagiarism, and Groucho Marx's former manager, Bill Murray talks about punishing schoolgirls, and Emily Litella confesses her love for Tom Snyder. Two boxers face off to get the most laughs. A low budget film depicts the Battle of Britain. A host and guest conduct an interview based solely of nonsense words. Alan Price performs "Poor People" and Neil Innes performs "Cheese & Onions" and "Shangri-La".
14 May 1977
The host for the episode is Shelley Duvall, and the musical guest is Joan Armatrading. The skits for this episode are as follows: The opening act is interrupted by an announcement that NBC wants to get their money's worth out of the recent Bobick-Norton fight by replaying it at the start of every show. The women of the show sing as the Video Vixens. A bank robber is upset that his disguise isn't as good as those of the other members of his gang. Three women are joined in a restaurant by three men arguing over which one is Ricardo Montalban. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on David Frost's presidential interviews, Patty Hearst's personal life and Roy Roger's funeral plans, while boxer Duane Bobick makes a plea for better civil rights so blacks will stop beating up white people, and Emily Litella fails to show up for her commentary. Elvis tries his hand at Shakespeare. Baba Wawa interviews Richard Burton on the subject of Elizabeth Taylor. Leonard Plith-Garnell reviews bad ballet. Members of the Moonies start turning violent. Joan Armatrading performs "Love & Affection" and "Down to Zero".
21 May 1977
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his fourth appearance), and the musical guests are Jennifer Warnes and Kenny Vance. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter delivers a message to the people urging them to switch to electric power. Buck Henry tries to get an audience member to have sex with him on stage during his opening monologue. The Samurai college student faces disciplinary action for his poor grades. A man in the shower pretends to host a talk show, but surprises his wife by producing her secret lover as a guest. The Coneheads fly back to Remulak, taking the Chrysler building with them. During the Weekend Update, Buck Henry makes a pass at Jane Curtain, and Emily Litella announces that Bella Abzug has thrown her cat in the ring for the next election. A William Wegman film shows him waking his dog with an alarm clock. Charles Lindburgh encounter the land shark while flying across the Atlantic. Michael O'Donoghue does an impersonation of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with nails stuck in their eyes. Jennifer Warnes performs "Right Time of the Night", Kenny Vance performs "The Performer", and Howard Shore performs "Departure Lounge" with the SNL band.
24 September 1977
The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his third appearance), and the musical guest is Jackson Browne. The skits for this episode are as follows: Burt Lance, President Carter's budget management director, pitches the National Express charge card after being asked to resign. During his opening monologue, Steve Martin promotes his new album and confesses that his cat has been embezzling from him. An ad introduces a watch so complex that it requires two people to operate it. The wild and crazy Festrunk brothers try to pick up two girls in their apartment rec room. A defense attorney berates a rape victim on the witness stand, then chuckles about it afterward. A great moment in rock history is commemorated: Roy Orbison standing completely still while singing in sunglasses. An ad promotes the Royale Deluxe II, a sedan that rides smoothly enough for a rabbi to perform a circumcision in the back seat at 40mph. Jackson Browne performs "Runnin' on Empty" and "The Pretender".
8 October 1977
The host for the episode is Madeline Kahn (her second appearance), and the musical guest is Taj Mahal. The skits for this episode are as follows: After the opening monologue, a man talks about his favorite drink: Swill, a mineral water straight from Lake Erie. Leonard Plinth-Garnell provides a review of bad opera. The cast announces the first "Anyone Can Host" contest, in which a viewer from home will be chosen to host the show. Bianca Jagger talks with some of her close friends. A show takes a retrospective of the acid generation and tracks down where they've gone. Madeline Kahn sings Silver Balls and Golden Pins". Taj Mahal performs "Queen Bee".
15 October 1977
The host for the episode is Hugh Hefner, and the musical guest is Libby Titus. The skits for this episode are as follows: A Playboy bunny flubs a number of party jokes. For his opening monologue, Hugh Hefner comes out in his pajamas and sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls". A housewife praises her new soap that contains tranquilizers. The Planet of the Men does battle with the Planet of the Women in genital-shaped spacecraft. The X-Police burst in on a couple smoking pot and brutally beat them. The host of a music appreciation show starts hallucinating to Wagner. During the Weekend Update, Jane and Dan report on Howard Cosell and abortion rights, while Nadia Comaneci asks everyone to come see her while she's still cute. Hugh presents a deleted sex scene from "The First Mrs. Kimball". A magician tries to cheer up an audience at a funeral. The Farbers pay a visit to a Playboy club. Libby Titus performs "Fool That I Am".
29 October 1977
The host for the episode is Charles Grodin, and the musical guest is Paul Simon (his third appearance, but first as the musical guest). The skits for this episode are as follows: The opening starts with Charles Grodin missing his rehearsal. The Coneheads celebrate Halloween giving out beer and fried eggs to children. Irwin Mainway of Mainway Toys comes in to defend his products against accusations that they're unsafe. The Samurai dry cleaner deals with his customers. The Bees go out for some trick-or-treating. Judy Miller, instructed by her mother to stay in her room, puts on a show for everyone. Paul Simon performs "Slip Sliding Away", "The Sound of Silence" (with Charles Grodin as Art Garfunkel), and "You're Kind".
12 November 1977
The host and musical guest for the episode is Ray Charles. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Godfather discusses with Tom Hagen the effects of letting NBC do a series about their life, and whether they should allow this to continue. During his opening monologue, Ray Charles talks about what SNL had to do to get him to come on the show. President Carter delivers a message to the United States. Howdy Doody's widow talks about life with the former star. Tom Snyder talks about returning to New York and interviews Ray Charles. Evelyn Woodski offers people the opportunity to learn how to read slower. A burglary takes place during a blackout. Mr. Mike tries to trick Ray with a fake painting, only to have Ray reveal he has a trick planned of his own. Ray Charles performs "I Can See Clearly Now", "What'd I Say" and "Oh What a Beautiful Morning", as well as a medley of his other works.
19 November 1977
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his fifth appearance), and the musical guest is Leon Redbone (his third appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Gilda and Garrett introduce the five finalists in the "Anyone Can Host" contest, including an 80-year-old grandmother from New Orleans and the governor of South Dakota. During his opening segment, Buck Henry greets and interviews the five finalists. John Belushi credits his success in the decathlon to eating little chocolate donuts. The samurai psychiatrist commits suicide after angering his patient. A stunt baby stands in for an abuse scene in place of the actor baby. A motel sanitizing team shows how they clean each room. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd report on the Egypt-Israel peace talks, Jimmy Hoffa, and new breakthroughs in genetics, while Laraine Newman interviews the five finalists and Baba Wawa talks about meeting Omar Sharif in Jerusalem. A group of Russians on a train go through a series of overlapping flashbacks. Mr. Mike hosts the Rickey Rat Club. Leon Redbone performs "Champagne Charlie" and "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone".
10 December 1977
The host for the episode is Mary Kay Place, and the musical guest is Willie Nelson. The skits for this episode are as follows: At the start of the show, the cast decides to make this episode the peppiest ever. A perfume called Hey You is advertised as perfect for one-night stands. A speaker talks about dangerous and harmful insects. Leonard Plinth-Garnell gives his reviews of bad musicals. Bobbi Farber talks about the meaning of Hanukkah. Willie Nelson performs "Whiskey River", Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" and "Something to Brag About" (with Mary Kay Place).
17 December 1977
The show was notable for Elvis Costello and the Attractions beginning their song "Less than Zero" about British wartime fascist leader Oswald Mosley then quickly stopping it, with Elvis announcing "I'm sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen, there's no reason to do this song here". This apparently led to Costello's being barred from SNL for over 10 years.
21 January 1978
The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his fourth appearance), and the musical guests are Randy Newman (his second appearance) and the Dirt Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter gives his State of the Union address, but the members of Congress are bored by it. During his opening monologue, Steve Martin accuses John Belushi of stealing from him, then explains how to avoid paying taxes. A forest ranger talks with a mountaineer without realizing the man is actually Bigfoot. The Festrunk brothers meet up with their computer dates from Croatia. An ad for a new Swedish body floss promises to make hygiene fun. The Coneheads go on Family Feud and win by picking things that people bite. Steve gives tours of the homes of his close friends, but never actually goes inside. A panel discusses the possibilities of Napoleon possessing a B-52 bomber. The Dirt Band performs "On the Loose With the Blues" and "White Russia", and Randy Newman performs "Short People" and "Rider in the Rain".
28 January 1978
The host for the episode is Robert Klein (his second appearance), and the musical guest is Bonnie Raitt. The skits for this episode are as follows: Mr. Mike sings with Tina Turner and tells a story about a rabbit that gets mangled in factory machinery. For his opening monologue, Robert Klein talks about anti-Semitism at his old college. The Olympia diner serves only cheeseburgers, Pepsi and chips. The X-police burst in on a couple for cohabitating, kill the girlfriend and frame the boyfriend for murder. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on a nuclear-powered satellite that crashed into a Nova Scotia lobsterbed, and Roseanne Roseannadanna explains what an aneurysm is. Nick the lounge singer performs badly for a ski lodge. As the rest of the show continues, reports of monster lobsters start coming in, until the studio is overrun and by them and everyone killed. Bonnie Raitt performs "Runaway" and "Give It All Up or Let Me Go" (with Robert Klein).
18 February 1978
The host for the episode is Chevy Chase, and the musical guest is Billy Joel. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Ford returns to give a rebuttal to Ronald Reagan's comments on the Suez Canal. Chevy Chase uses his opening monologue to milk the audience for applause. An ad pitches a new way to preserve moths by mashing them. A couple discusses what just happened after their one-night stand. During the Weekend Update, Chevy tricks Dan Aykroyd into giving him the anchor spot, and John Belushi gives a commentary on boxing that gets him so wound up he attacks Jane Curtain. A trainee customs inspector misses a pair of smugglers carrying cocaine. A priest of the Church of Confusion gives a sermon that rambles in circles. Two German soldiers behind enemy lines answer a series of baseball questions to prove they're actually American. For the final skit, several different endings are tried out. Billy Joel performs "Only the Good Die Young" and "Just the Way You Are".
25 February 1978
The host for the episode is O.J. Simpson, and the musical guest is Ashford & Simpson. The skits for this episode are as follows: Gilda Radner opens the show by answering questions supposedly from the audience. O.J. Simpson gives him opening monologue dressed as a Conehead. Samurai Futaba goes to a disco. Babe Ruth promises a dying child that he'll hit a home run for him, and then fails to do so. A pitchman touts the advantages of a hair clipper made especially for Mohawks. Al Franken attempts to tell jokes despite suffering from a brain tumor. E. Buzz Miller presents several clips of animals having sex, and gets increasingly turned on by them. O.J. reprises his famous Hertz car rental ad. Ashford & Simpson perform "So, So Satisfied", and "Don't Cost You Nothing".
11 March 1978
The host for the episode is Art Garfunkel, and the musical guest is Stephen Bishop. The skits for this episode are as follows: During Art Garfunkel's opening monologue, one of the speakers goes out during his song, prompting John Belushi to come on stage and start ranting about the show getting short shrift from the network managers, then accuse Art of backstabbing when the singer wants to just brush off the mishap and try again without causing a fuss. Tom Snyder presents another installment of the Tomorrow show. The Nerds Todd DiLaMuca and Lisa Loopner talk about the books they like. John, as an elderly man, goes to the graveyard where all the other SNL cast members are buried and reminisces on how they died. Andy Kaufmann appears in his British Man character and begins reading from to the audience from The Great Gatsby, only to be met with heckling. Stephen Bishop performs "On & On" and Art Garfunkel performs "All I Know", Scarborough Fair" and "Crying In My Sleep".
18 March 1978
The host for the episode is Jill Clayburgh (her second appearance), and the musical guest is Eddie Money. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris does a performance of "Danny Boy". An ad features the Royal Deluxe, a car smooth enough to perform circumcisions in the backseat while driving. At the Olympia diner, a new waitress finds the place hard to adjust to, while a woman who wants to put an ad in the window runs into difficulties. Leaonard Plinth-Garnell presents his reviews of bad one-man theater. Richard Herkiman puts on a performance from his shower. Beldar Conehead has an affair with a human woman, but soon after Prymaat catches him, her own affair with a human man is revealed. Eddie Money performs "Baby Hold On" and "Two Tickets to Paradise"
25 March 1978
The host for the episode is Christopher Lee, and the musical guest is Meatloaf. The skits for this episode are as follows: After Christopher Lee's monologue, a series of movie trailers promote some upcoming films. Baba Wawa makes an appearance in a production of My Fair Lady. Death comes to apologize to a little girl for taking away her dog, and the pair get into a long conversation over why he has to do what he does. Dell Stator invites customers to visit his Rabbit Hut. Mr. Bill goes to the circus, where he suffers all manner of abuse. Meatloaf performs "All Revved Up & No Place To Go" and "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad".
8 April 1978
The host for the episode is Michael Palin, and the musical guest is Eugene Record. The skits for this episode are as follows: For his opening monologue, Michael Palin comes out as a manager trying to stall for time while the real Michael is getting ready, and proceeds to put on a song and dance that has him stuffing cats down his pants. John Belushi pitches Little Chocolate Donuts. H&L Brock demonstrate just how far they'll go to save money on taxes. Lisa Loopner chases Todd out of the room so she can take her piano lesson in peace, but her teacher then attempts to kiss her. Mr Bill tries to pay his taxes, but ends up getting mangled and beaten again. Eugene Record performs "Have You Seen Her?" and "Trying to Get to You".
15 April 1978
The host for the episode is Michael Sarrazin, and the musical guests are Keith Jarrett and Gravity. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter delivers a special message for the viewers at home. After Michael Sarrazin's opening monologue, a re-run ad pitches Angora Bouquet, a skin soap that contains tranquilizers. E Buzz Miller presents a series of exercise tips with his assistant, but each suggestion is another opportunity for him to make lewd comments. Gilda Radner appears in a European-style art film about a beloved actress trying to run away from the hectic life of fame. Keith Jarrett performs two instrumental pieces.
22 April 1978
The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his fifth appearance), and the musical guest is The Blues Brothers (their second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Concert promoter Don Kirschner presents footage of an old club performance by The Blues Brothers. For his opening monologue, Steve Martin talks about the inspiration for his comedy ideas, then does a magic act that ends with him tackling and beating a member of the audience. The Festrunk brothers prepare their apartment for the two girls they believe are on the way, but their neighbor Cliff tells them they've been stood up. Medieval doctor Theodoric of York treats a series of patients by draining their blood. A man and woman catch each other's notice in a crowded club, and dance together romantically as the rest of the club freezes in place around them. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd debate abortion, Jane reports on Carter's energy policy and a new nasal contraceptive, and Dan berates Garrett Morris for short-changing him on the weed he bought. Steve performs a song about King Tut. The Nerds Todd and Lisa prepare their science fair projects. The Blues Brothers perform "I Don't Know".
13 May 1978
The host for the episode is Richard Dreyfuss, and the musical guests are Jimmy Buffett and Gary Tigerman. The skits for this episode are as follows: A presentation on Paraquat shows how the chemically treated marijuana makes its way into the U.S. Richard Dreyfuss performs Hamlet for his opening monologue after John Belushi taunts him over his Best Actor Oscar, but ends up in a fight with John instead. A man obsessed with a tower-like vision he had sees Beldar Conehead in a TV commercial and rushes to the Conehead household just as an emissary is arriving from Remulak. Dreyfuss tests viewers on their knowledge of sex. During the Weekend Update, Bill Murray heckles Richard Dreyfuss during his review of the Oscar winners, and Jane Curtain snaps at Roseanne Roseannadanna for getting sidetracked about rude bodily functions. Nick the lounge singer entertains couples at a honeymoon resort. David Susskind interviews celebrities together with their mothers. Father Guido Sarducci gives the report on things at the Vatican. Jimmy Buffett performs "Son of a Son of a Sailor", Gary Tigerman performs "White Oaxacan Moon", and Richard Dreyfuss performs "I Want to Be Seduced".
20 May 1978
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his sixth appearance), and the musical guest is Sun Ra. The skits for this episode are as follows: Richard Nixon asks viewers to please buy his book so they can kick it as much as they'd like to kick him. Todd DiLaBounta takes Lisa Loopner to the prom, along with his father and Mrs. Loopner. The Samurai TV repairman attempts to fix a customer's television by slicing it with his sword. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd start their debate by first debating over who gets to represent which side. At the Olympia grill, Pete decides to get a guard dog, and promptly fires a very confused Nico to make room. Mr. Mike sings a song about baby ghouls. A stunt puppy fills in for the star dog when a movie scene calls for it to be beaten up. Leonard Plinth-Garnell reviews bad conceptual art. Tom Davis reveals that he and Al Franken are actually gay lovers. Sun Ra performs "Space Is The Place" and "Space-Lonliness".
7 October 1978
The hosts and musical guests for the episode are The Rolling Stones (their first appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: New York Mayor Ed Koch opens the show by awarding John Belushi a certificate of merit for his work in Animal House, but John is unimpressed by the gesture. An ad pitches Autoscent, a perfume to put in the engine of your car. Tom Snyder interviews Mick Jagger for the Tomorrow show and talks with him about dancing, barbecues and wearing women's clothing. A repairman with sagging pants comes to the Loopner's house to fix the refrigerator while Todd and Lisa are discussing their homework. President Carter attempts to negotiate a peace treaty between the Beatles. The Battle of the Network T's and A's puts large-breasted actresses in sports events. The Rolling Stones perform "Shattered", "Beast of Burden" and "Respectable".
14 October 1978
The host for the episode is Fred Willard, and the musical guest is Devo. The skits for this episode are as follows: The opening act is interrupted by a honker in the audience. Aging stuntman Cliff Preston attempts to do his job but doesn't move as fast as he used to. During the Weekend Update, Dan Aykroyd rants about the NFL's new cheerleader uniforms, paying particular attention to the disgusting ways in which the outfits are designed to arouse male viewers. Mainway toys again attempts to defend the quality of its products. Mr. Bill visits New York only to get ripped apart by an escalator and dropped from the top of the Empire State Building. A new store, The Scotch Boutique, sells nothing but tape, and is having a hard time staying in business. Devo performs "Satisfaction" and "Jocko Homo".
21 October 1978
The host and musical guest for the episode is Frank Zappa (his second appearance, the first as host). The skits for this episode are as follows: NBC President Fred Silverman opens the show by announcing that all of their viewer research indicates that everyone wants to see more Frank Zappa, so the network is signing Zappa to an extended TV contract. Zappa performs "Dancing Fool" for his opening monologue and picks up a member of the audience to go home with. Connie Conehead has a date with Frank Zappa, so Beldar helps to entertain while Connie gets ready to go out. During the Weekend Update, Father Guido Sarducci reports on the latest developments from The Vatican. Mr. Bill moves into his new home, but is soon mangled by Sluggo and Mr. Hands. Frank Zappa performs "Meek" and "Rollo".
4 November 1978
The host for the episode is Steve Martin (his sixth appearance), and the musical guest is Van Morrison. The skits for this episode are as follows: Desperate after his austerity measures have failed to halt inflation, President Carter attempts to encourage Americans to welcome inflation as a wonderful new opportunity to be a millionaire. Despite Elvis' death, his coat continues to perform the King's classic hits to packed audiences. Theodoric of York treats his patients with bleeding and other crude remedies. The Festrunk brothers continue trying to pick up swinging American girls. Todd DiLaMuca visits Lisa Loopner in the hospital, but a jealous fight breaks out when rival nerd Charles Knerlman shows up with Lisa's homework. Jane Curtain interviews the author of the book "Mauled", who talks of his experiences being savagely attacked by bears. Steve Martin apologizes to the audience when the final skit has to be cut short because of time restrictions. Van Morrison performs "Wavelength" and "Kingdom Hall".
11 November 1978
The host for the episode is Buck Henry (his seventh appearance), and the musical guest is The Grateful Dead. The skits for this episode are as follows: Candidate Hunkler discusses his campaign strategy, particularly which pitfalls he needs to avoid. Buck Henry's opening monologue is replaced with previews for Star Wars. A spokesman for the Rovco Ranch invites customers to raise their own fur animals. The samurai optometrist fits a customer for a new pair of glasses. A couple leaves their two young girls with Uncle Roy, a pedophile who has the girls play various games for his amusement. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on the next census, Elton John's health and Seattle Slew's racing injury, Bill Murray interviews a choking Elizabeth Taylor, and Dan Aykroyd debates the necessity of keeping the Shah in power. Nick the lounge singer performs for tourists at a bar in Vegas. Joan Face interviews Dr. Ike Badenza about the new Australian flu that's heading our way. Chico Escuela appears at the St. Mickey's Knights of Columbus. The Grateful Dead perform "Casey Jones", "I Need A Miracle" and "Good Lovin'".
18 November 1978
The host for the episode is Carrie Fisher, and the musical guest is The Blues Brothers (their third appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: During her opening monologue, Carrie Fisher is instructed by Obi-Wan to tell a joke about aliens that completely bombs. Princess Leia arrives on Earth and joins a beach party with Frankie and Annette. Two boys show up for their dates with the Loud family sisters, only to be taken aback at how loud everyone speaks. Two orderlies take it upon themselves to release a dying patient from her misery, but get the wrong bed by mistake. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtin reports on an archaeological find in Egypt, McDonald's hamburgers and Sambo's restaurants, Bill Murray reports on Neil Armstrong, Vietnamese refugees, and the death of Jimmy Hoffa. Father Guido Sarducci answers allegations that the Vatican Bank is becoming a tax haven, and Roseanne Roseannadanna rants about smoking and naked people in health clubs. Mr. Bill goes fishing with Mr. Hands but ends up getting speared with hooks and eaten by a dolphin. At a waterfront dive in Marseilles, while the other bar girls try to get the sailors to buy expensive drinks, one gets them to sign up for insurance policies. The Blues Brothers perform "Soul Man", "Got Everything I Need, Almost", and "B Movie Boxcar Blues."
2 December 1978
The host for the episode is Walter Matthau, but there was no musical guest. The skits for this episode are as follows: NBC President Fred Silverman wonders aloud about what needs to be done to pick up the network's failing ratings. An ad for Epoxy-Dent claims the denture adhesive is strong enough to let you hold onto a helicopter with your teeth. The coach of the Bad News Bees gives his team some advice on life after one of them is caught buzzing off. At the Olympia grill, a Coca-Cola sales rep tries to get the place to switch from Pepsi, while several customers are grossed out by the cook's insect-killing technique. Nixon gets together with one of his old conspirators to talk about staging a comeback. Connie Carson interviews new teen idol Vanessa Lake. Garrett Morris sings "Della Sua Pace". Spot gets set on fire while Mr. Bill is still trying to get ready for his show.
9 December 1978
The host for the episode is Eric Idle (his third appearance), and the musical guest is Kate Bush. The skits for this episode are as follows: The telepsychic takes questions from callers about the future, giving each one the same answer. Julia Child demonstrates how to prepare a roast chicken and proceeds to slice her hand open and bleed to death in the studio. A game show host explains the convoluted rules of the show using sound effects. During the Weekend Update, Jane Curtain reports on serial killers, Christmas shopping and the Nobel Peace Prize, Bill Murray interviews Valerie Harper who claims her show was canceled because of anti-Semitism, after which Jane proposes a grass-roots movement to build support for ERA by withholding oral sex. Father Guido Sarducci relates his experiences at a nude wrestling club. A studio manager is waiting for a drugged-out punk rocker to show up for a recording while her handlers try to keep everyone patient and high. Joan Face interviews Irwin Mainway regarding the shoddy and dangerous products his company makes. Apache chief Cochise attends a rhetoric class at Oxford where he gets frustrated with the inanity of the professor's lecture. Kate Bush performs "The Man With The Child In His Eyes" and "Them Heavy People".
16 December 1978
The host for the episode is Eliott Gould (his fourth appearance), and the musical guest is Peter Tosh. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter appears with his daughter Amy for an event on the White House lawn. Rovco presents their new all-flammable Christmas tree. The Widette family, who all have enormous backsides, prepare for dinner at home. During the Weekend Update, the reports include Beethoven's birthday, human rights abuses in Iran, and Cleveland's default, while Laraine Newman interviews the owner of Studio 54, Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd debate relations with China, and Roseanne Roseannadanna gives advice about beating depression during the holidays that ends up making Jane sick. An interviewer talks with a down-on-his-luck man who came to New York from Tacoma to help make his holiday better. Honker starts selling Christmas trees when the owner o the lot steps out for a minute. Peter Tosh performs "Don't Look Back" (with Mick Jagger) and "Bush Doctor".
27 January 1979
The host for the episode is Michael Palin (his second appearance), and the musical guest is The Doobie Brothers. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter delivers his State of the Union address despite his painful hemorrhoids, but the speech is peppered with references to the affliction. Lisa Loopner has another piano lesson with her lecherous teacher, Mr. Brighton. A discussion panel looks at the topic of what would have happened if Superman had landed in Nazi Germany instead of the United States. During the Weekend Update, Chico Escuela gives the sports news, while Father Guido Sarducci gives the latest report on events in the Catholic Church. Mr. Bill gets called in to court, where he is pounded with a gavel, sees his mother and dog torn apart, and ends up strapped to the electric chair. The Doobie Brothers perform "What a Fool Believes" and "Taking It to the Streets".
10 February 1979
The host for the episode is Cicely Tyson, and the musical guest is The Talking Heads. The skits for this episode are as follows: Jane and Gilda run in panic when John comes on the set, thinking he's going to throw a tantrum after learning that his Deng Xiaoping act has been cut. Before Cicely Tyson can give her opening monologue, Garrett Morris comes out dressed as her because he think he's supposed to play all black roles, leading Cicely to berate him for throwing his talent away on degrading parts. Elvis Presley's coat continues to perform to sell-out crowds after its owner's death. The Widettes meet up with another family with similarly large backsides. Receptionist Sherry is now working for the Shah, where she keeps all his visitors waiting. The frontier midwife delivers a baby in front of a room full of men. Nick the lounge singer performs on an auto-train bound for Florida. Garrett invites Cicely to talk about the lack of positive perceptions regarding black characters and black actors, and Cicely blindsides him by blaming it on the poor behavior of black men. The X-police burst in on a pair of women they think are lesbians and proceed to beat them up. Cicely performs a selection of songs about Sicily. Emily Litella acts as host for her production of "Porky & Bess". The Talking Heads perform "Take Me to the River" and "Artists Only".