Lightfoot: You ain't no country preacher, Preacher.
[Lightfoot is driving a truck and he sees a woman riding a motorcycle in shorts]
Lightfoot: Hey were did you get those pants?
[the woman pulls out a hammer, pounds the truck and rides off]
Lightfoot: You freak! I love you, come back!
Lightfoot: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. That sounds like something.
Lightfoot: Hey. You stick with me kid. Your gonna live forever.
Red Leary: Go... fuck... a duck.
[a woman runs out of a motel falsely crying rape]
Woman in car: You really want to stay here?
Husband: [smiling] Why not?
John "Thunderbolt" Doherty: What's your name boy?
John "Thunderbolt" Doherty: You Indian?
Lightfoot: Nope. Just American.
Lightfoot: [John Doherty, aka Thunderbolt, dressed in preacher's garb, has jumped into Lightfoot's stolen Trans-Am] I thought you were the heat.
John Doherty: Do I look like heat?
Lightfoot: You look like one crazy sonofabitch for a preacher, I'll tell ya' that.
Lightfoot: Howdy. How's business?
Station Attendant: In this business, you're always one step away from bankruptcy. Funny money, credit, speculation... Somewhere in this country's a little ol' lady with $79.25. The five cents is a buffalo nickel... If she cashes in her investment, whole thing'll collapse. General Motors, the Pentagon, the two-party system and the whole shebang... We're all running downhill. Gotta' keep running faster or we'll fall down.
John Doherty: I don't wish to be forward but we'd like to exchange cars with you. So the faster you get out, the better it'll be for your ass.
Lightfoot: [Eyeing the clothes in the back of the car they've just stolen] Hey, look at this, man. It's like they got a whole department store back here. I like that.
John Doherty: Yeah... Those clothes and your mouth, you could be a big man.
John Doherty: Hey, why don't you take this watch, huh? I want you to have it.
Lightfoot: I don't want your watch, man... I want your friendship!
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?... Hey, maybe we had the same father?
John Doherty: [Thunderbolt and Gloria are having sex] Take it easy, Gloria. You're killin' me.
Gloria: Where'd you get all those scars from?
John Doherty: Marines. Korea.
Gloria: Oh, yeah? I heard about that war...
Lightfoot: [Repeated line] Red-haired women are bad luck.
Eddie Goody: [Looking at the stolen Buick Riviera, parked in front of a truck stop diner] You sure that's their car?
Red Leary: That's their hearse.
Lightfoot: How you feelin' today, preacher?
John Doherty: [Reciting a line of poetry] The clock uncoils the working day, and he wakes up feeling his youth has gone away.
Lightfoot: Now what the hell is that? A prayer?
John Doherty: A poem.
Lightfoot: [In a mocking tone] A poem?
John Doherty: Poetry.
Lightfoot: Ah. You stick with me, kid. You can live forever.
Lightfoot: A man can do whatever he sets his mind to. Now, me, I wanna' walk in and buy a white Cadillac convertible. Actually walk in and buy it, cash.
John Doherty: You might set your mind to gettin' us a lift. This walkin' is tough on my bad leg.
Lightfoot: [Hitchhiking: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot have accepted a ride from a crazy driver with a mess of a car] This guy another friend of yours?
John Doherty: Slightly advanced, isn't he?
John Doherty: [Exhaust fumes start billowing up in the back seating area] Hey, what's wrong with this wreck? We're gettin' gassed back here!
Lightfoot: This guy's a basket case. He's got the exhaust pipe in here.
John Doherty: In small-town banks, they leave the telephone off the hook in the vault at night so the local operator can listen in.
Lightfoot: People walk into these banks with paper sacks, fill 'em with money and walk out. Anybody can do it.
John Doherty: Bullshit. The newest bank vaults have walls of reinforced concrete five feet thick, backed by six inches of steel. The vault door is stainless steel-faced. It's an inch and a half of cast steel, another 12 inches of burn-resisting steel, and another inch and a half of open-hearthed steel... A vault door has 20 bolts, each an inch in diameter. Eight on each side, two top and two bottom. This holds the door into a 16-inch steel jamb set in 18 inches of concrete. It's crosshatched by steel bars running both vertical and horizontal. This door is precision-made so you can't pour nitro between the door and the vault. If that isn't enough, there's microphones, electric eyes, pressure-sensitive mats, vibration detectors, tear gas, and even thermostats that detect the slightest rise in temperature. Still interested in banks?
Lightfoot: I *knew* you weren't a preacher!
Lightfoot: [Asking about a former heist in which Thunderbolt played a role] Montana Armored? How did you get into the vault?
John Doherty: 20mm cannon with armor-piercing shells. Wasn't too hard.
Lightfoot: Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. That sounds like somethin'.
John Doherty: You're forgetting I'm a lot older than you.
Lightfoot: There are plenty of guys twice my age who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
John Doherty: I won't fault you there.
Lightfoot: [Arriving at the site of what was supposed to be the old schoolhouse, now replaced with a modern new school] Are you sure this is the spot?
John Doherty: Yeah.
Lightfoot: What? I didn't hear what you said.
John Doherty: I said, yeah, this is it.
Lightfoot: Well, what happened to it?
John Doherty: I don't know... Progress.
Eddie Goody: [Just been punched by Thunderbolt] You come from hitters, don't you?
Lightfoot: The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
John Doherty: Where do you pick up these pearls of wisdom?
Red Leary: [Mockingly] You mean you can actually read?
Lightfoot: I read *you* loud and clear.
Red Leary: You better believe it.
Secretary: [Thunderbolt is working in a metal shop] You forgot to give me your Social Security number.
John Doherty: What?
Secretary: I said that you forgot to give me your Social Security number.
John Doherty: Oh, I've forgotten it.
Secretary: Forgotten it?... Ha ha!... Nobody ever forgets their number. Where you been workin'?
Young Boy: [Goody, with Red along, are in a tiny ice-cream vendor's truck] You're early. You're supposed to go down the next street first, then come up here.
Eddie Goody: Well, listen. While we're here, can I sell you anything?
Young Boy: No, I'm waiting for Judy Ann. They have a better flavor of pistachio.
Red Leary: Look, kid, go fuck a duck.
Voice over Department Store PA system: All maintenance personnel off the floor. Bringing in the guard dogs now.
Red Leary: To hell with them dogs. They treat 'em better than us. They rush us outta' here like animals.
Janitor in Department Store: Let's not argue now, Sam. Those dogs ate up a man here once.
Red Leary: Ate him?
Janitor in Department Store: Yeah. Wrong man came on duty, dogs ate him up. They'll go through a plate-glass window to get at ya'. A man don't fool around with those kinda' animals.
[Sound of barking dogs in background grows louder]
Red Leary: [Lightfoot shows up with the van, newly dented by the girl on the motorcycle] Where'd you get the dents?
Lightfoot: [Nonchalantly] Progress. I dreamt about you last night.
Red Leary: What about?
Lightfoot: I dreamt you said hello to me.
Red Leary: Don't you get smart with me. I'll break both your arms.
Lightfoot: I'll keep that in mind.
Red Leary: Remember what I said. John and me go back a long way. But you don't mean nothin' to me, understand? Nothin'!
Lightfoot: What'd you try and kill him for then?
Red Leary: Because we were friends.
Lightfoot: [Expressing reservations about his role in the upcoming heist] Look, I don't know if I can pull this thing off. How do I know what to do?
John Doherty: What's the matter? The job too tough for ya'?
Lightfoot: [Repeated line] In for a penny, in for a pound.
John Doherty: Seems there was another hook-up after all.
Lightfoot: Everything I did was for nothing?
John Doherty: Seems that way, doesn't it?
John Doherty: What happened to Goody?
Red Leary: I threw that little sucker out.
Lightfoot: You prick!
Red Leary: [Knocks Lightfoot to the ground and kicks him savagely] Say somethin' funny now, smart-ass!
Lightfoot: [Final lines] You know... you know somethin'? I don't think of us as criminals, you know? I feel we accomplished something. A good job. I feel proud of myself, man. I feel like a hero.
John Doherty: Are you all right, kid? You don't look too well.
Lightfoot: I believe you're right.
John Doherty: Lightfoot!
Red Leary: Shut up, Goody.
Eddie Goody: What do we do now, Red?