Black Christmas (1974)
Mrs. MacHenry: These broads would hump the Leaning Tower of Pisa if they could get up there!
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: Sergeant Nash what's this?
Sergeant Nash: That's the address to the sorority house.
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: Fellatio?
Sergeant Nash: Yes, Fellatio, the new exchange address for the house.
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: Sergeant Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions.
Sergeant Nash: I know, the address is something dirty isn't it?
[Lt. Fuller and another detective laugh at him]
[upon seeing that Mrs. MacHenry is coming inside the house]
Barb Coard: Speaking of professional virgins - here we have the queen of vaudeville herself!
Barb Coard: Did you know, this is a very little known fact, but... did you know that there's a certain species of turtle that... there's a certain species of turtle that can screw for three days without stopping. You don't believe me, do you? Well, I mean, how could I make something like that up?
Mrs. MacHenry: Ah, Barb, dear, ah, I-I-I-ah...
Barb Coard: No, really! They just... three days, 24 hours a day, wha-voom! Wha-voom! Wha-voom! Can you believe that, three days? I'm lucky if I get three minutes! Do you know how I know this? Because I went down to the zoo and I watched them. It was very boring. Well actually, um, I, uh, didn't stay for the whole three days, I went over and I watched the zebras, because they only take thirty seconds! Premature ejaculation!
The Killer: Filthy Billy, I know what you did nasty Billy!
The Killer: Agnes, It's Billy! Don't tell what we did!
Barb Coard: Why don't you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it, that will give you a charge?
Barb Coard: I think the little buggers schnockered, son of a bitch.
Chris Hayden: Nash, you stupid son of a bitch, you've got a big god damn mouth!
Mr. Harrison: I didn't send my daughter in here to be drinking and picking up the boys.
Mrs. MacHenry: [singing as she packs her suitcase] Alligators come through the gate, but goodbye leg if ya get away late! Lollies love to pop!
[after the mysterious caller hangs up]
Clare Harrison: I don't think you should provoke somebody like that, Barb.
Barb Coard: Oh listen, this guy is minor league. In the city, I get two of those a day.
Clare Harrison: Well maybe. But you know that town girl was raped a couple of weeks ago.
Barb Coard: Darling, you can't rape a townie.
Sergeant Nash: Bernie? Call the doc.
Farmer: I'm not letting no son of a bitch trespass on my land in the middle of the night! I don't care what he is!
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: What the hell's going on here?
Cop #1: He fired on a police officer.
Farmer: You goddamn right! I'll do it again, too. The bastard was tresspassing!
Sergeant Nash: Hogan got an ass full of birdshells.
Cop #2: Yeah, I'm gonna make the son of a bitch pick every one of 'em out with his teeth.
Farmer: Next time you're gonna get the gun up your ass! Sideways!
Sergeant Nash: Excuse me? Could you give me the number at the sorority house? Please?
Barb Coard: Yeah, sure. It's, ah... Fellatio 20880. Fellatio. It's a new exchange, FE.
Sergeant Nash: That's a new one on me. How do you spell it?
Barb Coard: Capital F, E, little L, LA, TIO.
Sergeant Nash: Thanks.
Barb Coard: Don't mention it.
The Killer: [referring to her potential abortion] Just like having a wart removed.
Jessica Bradford: Oh my God!
The Killer: Let me lick your pretty piggy cunt!
Clare Harrison: [about the obscene phone call] Could that really be just one person?
Barb Coard: No Claire, it's the Mormon Tabernacle Choir making their annual obscene phone call.
The Killer: [to Barb, while on the phone] I'll stick my tongue up your pretty pussy!
The Killer: [to Barb, while on the phone]
The Killer: I'm going to kill you.
The Killer: [Quietly singing] Little baby bunting/Daddy's went a-hunting/Gonna fetch a rabbit skin to wrap his baby Agnes in.
Sergeant Nash: [after Sergeant Nash calls the sorority house] Who is this?
Jessica Bradford: It's Jess.
Sergeant Nash: Ms. Bradford, this is Sergeant Nash. Are you the only one in the house?
Jessica Bradford: No. Phyll and Barb are upstairs asleep. Why?
Sergeant Nash: Alright. Now I want you to do exactly what I tell you without asking any questions, okay?
Jessica Bradford: [Begins to question]
Sergeant Nash: No, no, no... no questions. Now just put the phone back on the hook, walk to the front door and leave the house.
Jessica Bradford: What's wrong?
Sergeant Nash: Please, Ms. Bradford, please just do as I tell you.
Jessica Bradford: Okay. I'll get Phyll and Barb.
Sergeant Nash: [Raising his voice] No, no, no, don't do that Jess.
Sergeant Nash: Jess, the caller is in the house. The calls are coming from the house!
Mrs. MacHenry: [looking at a hideous nightgown gift the sorority girls have given her] Jesus, I wouldn't wear this to have my liver out!
Mrs. MacHenry: [on her nightgown gift] Well, thank you, girls. It's lovely really...
Mrs. MacHenry: Got about as much use for this as I do a chastity belt.
Sergeant Nash: [Jess has managed to keep the caller on the line for almost a full two minutes, allowing the phone company to trace the call] Uh, Lt. Fuller?
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: Yeah, what is it?
Sergeant Nash: The phone company's on the other line sir, they say they got a trace on this one.
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: Yeah, let's have it!
Sergeant Nash: He says the calls are coming from #6 Belmont Street.
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: For Christ's sakes, Nash, you got it wrong, that's where the calls are going into.
Sergeant Nash: That's where they're coming from too, sir.
Lieutenant Kennet Fuller: [pause] Oh shit...