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Black Christmas (1974) Poster

Quotes

Billy: [to Barb, on the phone; sombre] I'm going to kill you.

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Barb: Oh, why don't you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it. That'll give you a charge.

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Sergeant Nash: [after Sergeant Nash calls the sorority house] Who is this?

Jess: It's Jess.

Sergeant Nash: Ah, Ms. Bradford, eh, this is Sergeant Nash. Are you the only one in the house?

Jess: No. Phyl and Barb are upstairs asleep. Why?

Sergeant Nash: All right. Now, I want you to do exactly what I tell you without asking any questions, okay?

[Jess tries to ask something]

Sergeant Nash: No, no, no... no questions. Now, just put the phone back on the hook, walk to the front door and leave the house.

Jess: What's wrong?

Sergeant Nash: Please, Ms. Bradford, please just do as I tell you.

Jess: Okay. I'll get Phyl and Barb.

Sergeant Nash: No, no, no! Don't do that, Jess... Jess, the caller is in the house. The calls are coming from the house!

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Lt. Fuller: [hands Nash a form] What's this?

Sergeant Nash: Oh, that's the number of the sorority house.

Lt. Fuller: Fellatio?

Sergeant Nash: Yeah, it's a new exchange: FE.

Lt. Fuller: [suppressing a laugh] A new exchange?

Sergeant Nash: Yeah, Fellatio. One of the girls that was in this afternoon gave it to me.

Lt. Fuller: [sarcastically] She gave it to you?

Sergeant Nash: Yeah.

Lt. Fuller: Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions.

[takes the form and walks back to his desk]

Sergeant Nash: [thinks for a moment] I know. It's something dirty, ain't it?

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Sergeant Nash: [Jess has managed to keep the caller on the line for almost a full two minutes, allowing the phone company to trace the call] Uh, Lt. Fuller?

Lt. Fuller: Yeah, Nash, what is it?

Sergeant Nash: The phone company's on the other line, sir. They say they got a trace on this one.

Lt. Fuller: Yeah, let's have it!

Sergeant Nash: He says the calls are coming from #6 Belmont Street.

Lt. Fuller: For Christ's sakes, Nash, you got it wrong. That's where the calls are going into.

Sergeant Nash: That's where they're coming from too, sir.

Lt. Fuller: [pause] Oh, shit...

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Mrs. Mac: These broads would hump the Leaning Tower of Pisa if they could get up there!

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[upon seeing that Mrs. Mac is coming inside the house]

Barb: Speaking of professional virgins, here we have the Queen of Vaudeville circa 1891.

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Mr. Harrison: I didn't send my daughter in here to be drinking and picking up the boys.

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Clare: [about the obscene phone call] Could that really be just one person?

Barb: No, Clare, it's the Mormon Tabernacle Choir making their annual obscene phone call.

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Billy: [quietly singing] Little baby bunting/Daddy's went a-hunting/Gonna fetch a rabbit skin to wrap his baby Agnes in.

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Mrs. Mac: [looking at a hideous nightgown gift the sorority girls have given her] Jesus, I wouldn't wear this to have my liver out!

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Barb: [on phone] You're a real gold-plated whore, mother, you know that?

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Barb: Did you know, this is a very little known fact, but... did you know that there's a certain species of turtle that... there's a certain species of turtle that can screw for three days without stopping. You don't believe me, do you? Well, I-I mean, how could I make something like that up?

Mrs. Mac: Ah, Barb, dear, ah, I-I-I-ah...

Barb: No, really! They just... three days, 24 hours a day, wha-voom! Wha-voom! Wha-voom! Can you believe that, three days? I'm lucky if I get three minutes! Do you know how I know this? Because I went down to the zoo and I watched them. It was very boring. Well actually, um, I, uh, didn't stay for the whole three days, I went over and I watched the zebras, because they only take thirty seconds! Premature ejaculation!

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Barb: I think the little buggers schnockered, son of a bitch.

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Chris: Nash, you stupid son of a bitch; you've got a big goddamn mouth!

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Mrs. Mac: [singing as she packs her suitcase] Alligators come through the gate, but goodbye leg if ya get away late! Lollies love to pop!

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Sergeant Nash: Bernie? Call the doc.

Farmer: I'm not letting no son of a bitch trespass on my land in the middle of the night! I don't care what kind of a uniform he has!

Lt. Fuller: What the hell's going on here?

Cop #1: He fired on a police officer.

Farmer: You goddamn right! I'll do it again, too. The bastard was tresspassing!

Sergeant Nash: Hogan got an ass full of birdshot.

Cop #2: Yeah, I'm gonna make the son of a bitch pick every one of 'em out with his teeth.

Farmer: The next time you're gonna get the gun up your ass! Sideways!

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Billy: [to Barb, on the phone] I'll stick my tongue up your pretty pussy!

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Billy: Let me lick your pretty piggy cunt!

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Mrs. Mac: [on her nightgown gift] Well, thank you, girls. It's lovely really...

[muttering]

Mrs. Mac: Got about as much use for this as I do a chastity belt.

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Billy: Filthy Billy, I know what you did, nasty Billy!

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[after the mysterious caller hangs up]

Clare: I really don't think you should provoke somebody like that, Barb.

Barb: Oh listen, this guy is minor league. In the city, I get two of those a day.

Clare: Well, maybe. But you know that town girl was raped a couple of weeks ago.

Barb: Darling, you can't rape a townie.

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Sergeant Nash: Excuse me? Could you give me the number at the sorority house? Please?

Barb: Yeah, sure. It's, ah... Fellatio 20880. Fellatio. It's a new exchange, FE.

Sergeant Nash: That's a new one on me. How do you spell it?

Barb: Capital F, E, little L, L-A, T-I-O.

Sergeant Nash: Thanks.

Barb: Don't mention it.

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Mrs. Mac: Oh goddammit, Claude, you little prick!

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Billy: [referring to her potential abortion] Just like having a wart removed.

Jess: Oh, my God!

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Barb: [to Sergeant Nash] You know, for a public servant I think your attitude really sucks!

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Peter: [to Jess over the phone] I love you.

Jess: [to Peter over phone] I know.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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