The Rockford Files (1974–1980)
Electric Larry: Harry, the soda machine at the bar is busted again.
Harry Smick: It was fixed last week.
Electric Larry: Tell that to the customer drinking scotch and air.
Jim Rockford: What's wrong?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I am THROUGH talking to you! Look at you, an inch or two to the right and you'd be missing that eye!
Jim Rockford: Yeah, but look at it this way, an inch or two to the left and he'd have missed me completely.
Jim Rockford: [answering machine picks up] This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Angel Martin: Jimmy, old buddy buddy! It's Angel! You know how they allow you one phone call? Well, this is it.
Jim Rockford: [Grabbing Angel by the lapel and throat & walking him back against a fence] Angel, you are driving me crazy, you understand me, I'm going crazy, I can't take it anymore!
Angel Martin: Jimmy!
Jim Rockford: Years and years and years, I'm goin out of my mind, with your stupid and ridiculous lies and games, year after year!
Angel Martin: You're jammin' my windpipe!
Jim Rockford: [ripping his hands from Angel's neck, showing Angel his trembling hands] Look at me, look at me, look at me!
Angel Martin: Jimmy?
Jim Rockford: Just don't say anything, just don't - say - anything!
Angel Martin: Jimmy?
Jim Rockford: [exasperated] What?
Angel Martin: I'm sorry. A stick of fruit gum?
[Angel pulls up a stick from a pack which Jim begrudgingly snaps out of the pack]
Jim Rockford: A senator and a bus driver? What's the connection?
Lance White: This is just a hunch but I'd say the bus driver had something on the senator. Like maybe the senator was having an affair with the bus driver's wife.
Jim Rockford: Lance, where did that come from?
Lance White: It didn't come from anywhere Jim it's just a hunch. I get a hunch, it turns out to be right and the case is solved. I don't know how you make a living as a private eye Jim. You don't seem to know any of this stuff.
Karen Hall: You met up with the Surete; they actually followed me. That's why I had that horrible feeling I was being watched. And they're the ones who ransacked my room.
Jim Rockford: Oh no, not nearly so simple. Your room was ransacked by an Olympic wrestling champion and a German ex-neurosurgeon.
Karen Hall: What? Who are they?
Jim Rockford: That's multiple choice. They're were either two former members of Wermacht Intelligence, two old friends of your father's or two cops from East Berlin.
Armand Teasdale: I am a good judge of people, and that is a fine young man, with a remarkable character.
Jim Rockford: No doubt about it, Lance is perfect. It's his only flaw.
Jim Rockford: Hey, I'm sorry Dad, you just caught me at a bad time. Reading that detective fiction doesn't help. I mean things aren't like that you know? They're not black and white. They're aren't any heroes left, they die young. (pointing to a book cover) His gun is deadly? Mine's in a cookie jar.
Jim Rockford: Yeah, well, we got snarled up in a case in August. I ended up doing 90 days on a county honor farm.
Lance White: Well, I'm sorry about that, Jim, but I had my client's interests to protect and you did break into that hotel room.
Jim Rockford: What client? Who where you working for? Nobody seemed to know.
Lance White: Well, that was kind of a strange one, those 3 little boys hired me.
Jim Rockford: The triplets? They were only 8 years old.
Lance White: Yeah well when their folks were killed by the mob, I kind of took 'em in. Finally, I made arrangements for them to live on a friend's farm in Vermont.
Jim Rockford: Isn't that nice? A happy ending. We all got to go to a farm.
Marcus Hayes: You have a hair-trigger, Mr.Finch.
Gandolph Finch: That's right, mouth... and you're sitting on the edge of a big disaster.
Marcus Hayes: I like him Jimmy. He's got pluck.
Jim Rockford: [to hood who has just kidnapped him] Does your mother know what you do for a living?
Beth Davenport: And Jim, try to be nice.
Jim Rockford: Are you kidding? You don't mouth off to anything that big. He looks like 190 pounds of gristle.
Dennis Becker: Step back Jim. This is information is for police department personnel only.
Jim Rockford: Boy, mention the Nazis around you and it rubs off.
Jim Rockford: Why didn't you get me 'Little Eddie' or 'The Greek?'
Angel Martin: They said they wouldn't do it. They said the last time they were in a con with you, it blew sky high. What does he mean by calling me a halibut?
Jim Rockford: It's a fish that swims at the bottom.
Angel Martin: I don't like him.
Jim Rockford: But I will need a diversion so I can get back to Bloomberg's room and try to talk to him.
Angel Martin: Ohh. Now we're getting to the nitty-gritty. Now it's beginning to make sense. 'Come on over to Rocky's, Angel.' Serve my favorite food. First time I been invited over here for so much as a glass of water.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I could use a little help in the kitchen with the coffee and dessert.
Angel Martin: Forget about the dessert, you don't buy Angel Martin with a couple of drumsticks and some redeye gravy.
Security Guard: Can I see your security passes?
Richie Brockelman: Sure!
Jim Rockford: No!
[punches security guard]
Lance White: I hate it when anybody dies. Even someone like Blackwood. I'm sure he wasn't a bad guy at heart probably.
Jim Rockford: Oh yeah, you throw out the cocaine busts and what, a little pushing around the high schools and what have you got left? Just a sweet guy with a problem.