Shaft in Africa (1973)
Jazar: How long is your phallus, Mr. Shaft?
Shaft: My what?
Jazar: Your cock?
Shaft: Baby, by now it shrunk down to 20 inches.
Shaft: Now, wait a minute. Now, I'm not James Bond. Simply, Sam Spade.
Col. Gonder: Well, Mr. Shaft, it seems we've brought you a long distance for nothing. Obviously the opposition knows about you. If you choose to call it off, we'll understand.
Shaft: What? And blow 25 grand?
Col. Gonder: Only money brings you here?
Shaft: Hell no! I just love to have my picture taken with lions.
Wassa: Where did you study stick fighting, Mr. Shaft?
Shaft: Conducting the New York Philharmonic.
Wassa: The Emir will be pleased. Also, by the fact you're already circumcised.
Shaft: Look, why don't you get rid of that jolly giant over there, so you and I can get down to the finer strokes.
Aleme: Oziat has guarded me since I was a child. Sometimes I think of him as my living chastity belt.
Shaft: Damn! - A man that size, baby, that's a whole lot of chastity!
Aleme: I'm still on my first age grade. We call that fareita. No one is permitted to marry while they are in fareita.
Shaft: What do you do for relaxation?
Aleme: I enter chala, my second age grade, this February. Then, even the emir's daughter may have sex and marry, after my clitoradectomy.
Shaft: Your what?
Aleme: My clitoradectomy. Female circumcision.
Shaft: You mean when they cut off your...?
Aleme: Are you afraid to say the word? My clitoris! Yes! That's what they do in the time of chala.
Shaft: Hell, no wonder the natives get restless!
Aleme: Mr. Shaft, the emphasis in our marriage is not about sexual pleasure, but on the rearing of children.
Shaft: Listen, baby. Now, February is just around the corner. Now how the hell are you gonna know what you are missing unless you give it a little wear and tear before they take it away?
Aleme: Are you volunteering?
Shaft: Your damn right!
Osiat: Where are your stick?
Aleme: It's time for your lesson.
Amafi: Listen, Mr. Wassa. I don't love this young lady. I don't even particularly like her. But she's the only person in the world I've ever found who can get it up for me.
Shaft: [looking at a naked prostitute with her arms crossed propping up her breast] No wonder they call Africa the mother country! Mama, I ain't gonna fight it.
Amafi: For the benefit of the others, an example has to be made. Kill him.
Angelo: What about his father? He's got a lot of clout.
Amafi: He can't throw a spear all the way from New York, now, can he? Angelo, I said kill him.
Parking Garage Attendent: Hey, some Africans are lookin' for you, brother.
Shaft: I don't know any Africans, brother.
Telephone Answering Service Operator: Is that you, Mr. Shaft?
Emir Ramila: I make you a most generous offer. Twenty-five thousand dollars.
Shaft: I was 21 before I found out that isn't is another way of sayin' ain't.
Col. Gonder: They 16 hours a day, seven days a week, for literally pennies. This, Mr. Shaft, is slavery - in the 20th century.
Aleme: They vanished as mysteriously as they appeared. But, they left behind our spoken culture, their drums, their copper spears, their beaded crowns. Nobody knows what happened to them. But, our tribes are descendant from these proud and ancestors. Don't laugh, Mr. Shaft. Your survival depends on how much you can remember.
Shaft: Who's laughing? I was just thinkin', they made us study Shakespeare in school. Man, was he a Johnny-Come-Lately, compared to your Cats groovin' on poetry a thousand years ago.
Shaft: Who was the cat in drag who tried to kill me?
Col. Gonder: A Sardinian named Boko, an assassin, long criminal record.
Shaft: And the dude that - saved my ass?
Col. Gonder: He works for us.
Shaft: Now, you're wrong. See, my folks weren't in cotton, they were in tobacco.
Amafi: I'd give ten years of my life if I could do that. To be able to see the world only in sexual terms and to feel it - the way you do, Jazar.
Shaft: Okay, what about some iron?
Col. Gonder: Iron?
Shaft: A piece.
Col. Gonder: No gun. Too difficult to hide and dead giveaway if somebody searches your bag. Anyway, you've got your stick.
Aleme: Where you disappointed I wasn't a virgin? Hmm?
Shaft: Hell no, baby, you had some good teachers.
Shaft: Nobody's ever cried for ya, have they baby? Nobody even knows your gone.
Amafi: I wish I could watch you with Shaft. Where will you do it?
Jazar: On the boat. I like the way it rocks you back and forth.
Amafi: Get it on tape. Play it back for me, Friday.
Jazar: That's a delicious idea.
Amafi: If you do it, I'll buy you an emerald.
Jazar: How large an emerald?
Shaft: Next time, you mutha, don't bite off more than you can chew!
Jazar: When did he bathe last?
Wassa: Very soon, now. Five hundred feet of water.
Jazar: Not until I spend the night with him.
Wassa: Look, if anything happens to you, Amafi will kill me!
Jazar: If I don't get to spend the night with this man, I'll tell Amafi you raped me. You know what he'd do to you?
Jazar: Mr. Shaft, I do hope you're not looking for the shower. I like - a natural man.
Shaft: You can usually tell by the size of a man's nose or the length and thickness of his thumbs. I always look for a man with prominent nose and long, thick thumbs.
Shaft: Baby, you're not turning me on. I got too many things on my mind.
Jazar: [Strips] A man who has been in the desert as long as you have? You know, the man you pays my bills, thinks I'm oversexed.
Shaft: And whatever gave him that idea?
Shaft: Baby, this may blow your mind, but, I ain't about to f*ck you. I'm taking you out of here right now, as a hostage.
Jazar: Do it later, please. Please.
Shaft: Move it, baby.
Jazar: You've been recorded.
Shaft: By what network?
Jazar: He asked me to put our love affair on tape.
Shaft: What's his name?
Jazar: If I tell you, will you come to bed?
Jazar: [Shaft takes off his pants] My God!
Shaft: Baby, my nose may not be too prominent. But, I got two of the longest, thickest thumbs.
Jazar: You know something? You are the first man who's ever made love to me the way a man should.
Shaft: Fantastic, baby. Write my Congressman later. Come on, get dressed.
Jazar: What ever you say, John. Oh!
Cusset: I remind you, Monsieur, you are now back in a civilized country where due process of law prevails.
Col. Gonder: Inspector, I resent that implication. My country was - building churches while your people were still living caves.
Shaft: Look, get your stenographer in here and I'll give her ten minutes. And then I've got things to do.
Cusset: The law will punish him, Monsieur.
Shaft: F*ck the law! What is the law doing about the sh*theads who charge a hundred francs a month to stay in a crap house like this. Why don't you really clamp down on the slave trade? I'll tell you why. Because the black ghettos of Paris is as far away from the Champs Elysees as 125th Street is from Park Avenue! You need a bunch of po' bastards to work on your roads and your god damn kitchens! So, don't lay any of that law will punish 'em sh*t on me!
Aleme: [Last lines] Excuse me, sir. One of our passengers has asked if you'd mind comforting?
Shaft: Put it right here, baby.