Down 4,608 this week

No Sex Please: We're British (1973)

 |  Comedy  |  25 July 1973 (UK)
Your rating:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 -/10 X  
Ratings: 5.3/10 from 363 users  
Reviews: 5 user | 4 critic

Porn store owner Pete orders some new stuff from his supplier Niko but Niko mixes up the address with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Here, newly-weds David (the bank's assistant ... See full summary »



, (play), 3 more credits »
0Check in

On Disc

at Amazon

10 Best Action Heroes

We consulted IMDb's Highest-Rated Action-Family Films to came up with 10 scene-stealing action figures your kids can relate to, look up to, and be inspired by.

Visit our Family Entertainment Guide

User Lists

Related lists from IMDb users

a list of 180 titles
created 06 Nov 2011
a list of 235 titles
created 28 Jan 2013
a list of 32 titles
created 22 Oct 2013
a list of 25 titles
created 17 May 2014
a list of 200 titles
created 09 Oct 2014

Related Items

Connect with IMDb

Share this Rating

Title: No Sex Please: We're British (1973)

No Sex Please: We're British (1973) on IMDb 5.3/10

Want to share IMDb's rating on your own site? Use the HTML below.

Take The Quiz!

Test your knowledge of No Sex Please: We're British.


Learn more

People who liked this also liked... 

Comedy | Drama | Romance
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  

A Millionairess and a doctor cannot marry until they meet conditions set-up by their respective parents.

Director: Anthony Asquith
Stars: Sophia Loren, Peter Sellers, Alastair Sim
Adventure | Drama | War
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.9/10 X  

A group of army personnel and nurses attempt a dangerous and arduous trek across the deserts of North Africa during the second world war. The leader of the team dreams of his ice cold beer ... See full summary »

Director: J. Lee Thompson
Stars: John Mills, Anthony Quayle, Sylvia Syms
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.6/10 X  

Chaos ensues for staff and students alike when an all-boys and an all-girls school are amalgamated into one.

Director: Frank Launder
Stars: Alastair Sim, Margaret Rutherford, John Turnbull
Biography | Drama | Music
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  

The tragic story of world renowned classic cellist Jacqueline du Pré, as told from the point of view of her sister, flautist Hilary du Pré-Finzi.

Director: Anand Tucker
Stars: Emily Watson, Rachel Griffiths, James Frain
Jagged Edge (1985)
Crime | Thriller | Mystery
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.4/10 X  

San Francisco heiress Page Forrester is brutally murdered in her remote beach house. Her husband Jack is devastated by the crime but soon finds himself accused of her murder. He hires ... See full summary »

Director: Richard Marquand
Stars: Jeff Bridges, Glenn Close, Peter Coyote
Dunkirk (1958)
Drama | History | War
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7/10 X  

Two stories in one - an easygoing British Corporal in France finds himself responsible for the lives of his men when their officer is killed. He has to get them back to Britain somehow. ... See full summary »

Director: Leslie Norman
Stars: John Mills, Richard Attenborough, Robert Urquhart
Doing Time (1979)
Comedy | Crime
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.2/10 X  

This prison comedy is based on the popular British television series of the same name. Long time Slade prison inmate Fletcher is ordered by Grouty to arrange a football match between the ... See full summary »

Director: Dick Clement
Stars: Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Fulton Mackay
Please Sir! (1971)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  

Mr Hedges takes his class on a field trip, with disastrous consequences.

Director: Mark Stuart
Stars: John Alderton, Deryck Guyler, Noel Howlett
Action | Comedy | Romance
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  

An international car rally across Europe is complicated by smuggling, cheating, love at first sight, etc. etc.

Directors: Ken Annakin, Sam Itzkovitch
Stars: Bourvil, Lando Buzzanca, Walter Chiari
Earthquake (1974)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  

Various stories of various people as an earthquake of un-imagineable magnitude hits Los Angeles.

Director: Mark Robson
Stars: Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, George Kennedy
Crime | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.5/10 X  

A disgruntled veteran recruits a group of disgraced collegues to perform a bank robbery with military precision.

Director: Basil Dearden
Stars: Jack Hawkins, Nigel Patrick, Roger Livesey
Odette (1950)
Drama | History | War
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  

This is the story of a brave woman who volunteered to join SOE (Special Operations Executive) during WWII. She was flown into occupied France where she fought with the French resistance. ... See full summary »

Director: Herbert Wilcox
Stars: Anna Neagle, Trevor Howard, Marius Goring


Cast overview, first billed only:
Brian Runnicles
Mr. Bromley
Mr. Needham
Cheryl Hall ...
David Swift ...
Inspector Paul
Park Keeper
Valerie Leon ...
Gerald Sim ...
Reverend Mower
Michael Robbins ...
Car Driver
Glass Shop Manager
Michael Ripper ...
Traffic Warden


Porn store owner Pete orders some new stuff from his supplier Niko but Niko mixes up the address with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Here, newly-weds David (the bank's assistant manager) and Penny Hunter is shocked when first photos, then films and then finally two girls are sent to them in the Bank's flat. They, and their friend, head cashier Brian Runnicles (who slowly starts to have a nervous breakdown), have to deal with getting rid of the porn without letting their boss, Mr. Bromley - the bank's manager (who's very anti-porn), the local police in the form of Inspector Paul, and David's mother, Bertha Hunter, in on what is happening... Written by Lee Horton <>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis




See all certifications »




Release Date:

25 July 1973 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Bitte keinen Sex, wir sind Briten  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Sound Mix:


See  »

Did You Know?


Michael Crawford, who played the role of Brian Runnicles on stage, turned down the movie version. See more »


Mr. Bromley: That's my wife, she's very heavy-handed with deers.
Brian Runnicles: So's mine, infact she's very heavy-handed with everything.
See more »


Referenced in Miranda: The Perfect Christmas (2010) See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

Please don't try to film stage plays, it rarely works...
16 September 2004 | by (England) – See all my reviews

No Sex Please, We're British was a long-running stage farce that had audiences in stitches night after night with its spiralling absurdity and honest vulgarity, but the makers of this film adaptation failed to grasp that what may work brilliantly on stage, where the adrenalin levels of the actors are boosted throughout by the enthusiasm of a live audience, simply looks strained and overwrought on film. (This is why none of Frankie Howerd's film roles worked - without an audience to react to his innuendo and dithering, he was sunk.) But hang on a minute

  • I can't completely dismiss this film, however much of a misfire it

is, because at least we have Susan Penhaligon at her cutest; Ian Ogilvy preparing for his role as Grayson the bully in the TV series 'Ripping Yarns'; Arthur Lowe, Michael Bates and Beryl Reid being pompous as only they can; lots of familiar TV and film faces who'll have you rushing to the IMDb (why do you think I'm writing this!) or, in the absence of internet access, arguing amongst your family and friends; and the eye-pleasing pairing of Valerie Leon and Margaret Nolan (both Carry On regulars) as a pair of classy call-girls who spend a lot of time in various states of undress! The credits mention Deryck Guyler, but he certainly wasn't in the broadcast version I watched - so either he was cut from the film but not the credits, or the TV company ditched his scene to accommodate some commercials. It's not a total waste of time, but Ronnie Corbett was never meant to be Brian Runnicles (Tim Brooke-Taylor would have been better) and large stretches go by with nary a chuckle. Still, it's a pleasant enough souvenir of sillier, more innocent times, and it livens up considerably towards the end - just stay with it.

4 of 9 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

Message Boards

Discuss No Sex Please: We're British (1973) on the IMDb message boards »

Contribute to This Page

Create a character page for: