5.4/10
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No Sex Please: We're British (1973)

Porn store owner Pete orders some new stuff from his supplier Niko but Niko mixes up the address with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Here, newly-weds David (the bank's assistant ... See full summary »

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(stage production: adapted from), (play) | 4 more credits »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Brian Runnicles
...
...
Mr. Bromley
...
...
...
Mr. Needham
Cheryl Hall ...
Daphne
David Swift ...
Inspector Paul
...
Park Keeper
Valerie Leon ...
Susan
...
Barbara
Gerald Sim ...
Reverend Mower
Michael Robbins ...
Car Driver
...
Glass Shop Manager
Michael Ripper ...
Traffic Warden
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Storyline

Porn store owner Pete orders some new stuff from his supplier Niko but Niko mixes up the address with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Here, newly-weds David (the bank's assistant manager) and Penny Hunter is shocked when first photos, then films and then finally two girls are sent to them in the Bank's flat. They, and their friend, head cashier Brian Runnicles (who slowly starts to have a nervous breakdown), have to deal with getting rid of the porn without letting their boss, Mr. Bromley - the bank's manager (who's very anti-porn), the local police in the form of Inspector Paul, and David's mother, Bertha Hunter, in on what is happening... Written by Lee Horton <Leeh@tcp.co.uk>

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Comedy

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Details

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Release Date:

25 July 1973 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Bitte keinen Sex, wir sind Briten  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

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(Technicolor)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Michael Crawford, who played the role of Brian Runnicles on stage, turned down the movie version. See more »

Quotes

Mr. Bromley: It's not enough to boggle David, actions speak louder than boggles!
See more »

Connections

Referenced in The Black Windmill (1974) See more »

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User Reviews

Please don't try to film stage plays, it rarely works...
16 September 2004 | by (England) – See all my reviews

No Sex Please, We're British was a long-running stage farce that had audiences in stitches night after night with its spiralling absurdity and honest vulgarity, but the makers of this film adaptation failed to grasp that what may work brilliantly on stage, where the adrenalin levels of the actors are boosted throughout by the enthusiasm of a live audience, simply looks strained and overwrought on film. (This is why none of Frankie Howerd's film roles worked - without an audience to react to his innuendo and dithering, he was sunk.) But hang on a minute

  • I can't completely dismiss this film, however much of a misfire it


is, because at least we have Susan Penhaligon at her cutest; Ian Ogilvy preparing for his role as Grayson the bully in the TV series 'Ripping Yarns'; Arthur Lowe, Michael Bates and Beryl Reid being pompous as only they can; lots of familiar TV and film faces who'll have you rushing to the IMDb (why do you think I'm writing this!) or, in the absence of internet access, arguing amongst your family and friends; and the eye-pleasing pairing of Valerie Leon and Margaret Nolan (both Carry On regulars) as a pair of classy call-girls who spend a lot of time in various states of undress! The credits mention Deryck Guyler, but he certainly wasn't in the broadcast version I watched - so either he was cut from the film but not the credits, or the TV company ditched his scene to accommodate some commercials. It's not a total waste of time, but Ronnie Corbett was never meant to be Brian Runnicles (Tim Brooke-Taylor would have been better) and large stretches go by with nary a chuckle. Still, it's a pleasant enough souvenir of sillier, more innocent times, and it livens up considerably towards the end - just stay with it.


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