The Young and the Restless (1973– )
Sally McGuire Roulland: [the first line of dialogue ever spoken on the show]
[half to herself]
Sally McGuire Roulland: Kind of a drag, huh? Stuck in a place like Genoa City... God, I feel so restless.
Mackenzie: What does this mean - "wedding vows"?
J.T.: Oh, Brittany wants me to help her write hers.
Mackenzie: She wants you to help her?
J.T.: Yeah, don't start, all right? Give it back. Come on.
Mackenzie: I'm surprised they're writing their own.
J.T.: What, you didn't think that Bobby knew how to read or write?
Mackenzie: That's mean.
J.T.: Yeah, it's not far from the truth. But don't worry, I'm sure he'll hire whoever writes those flyers for the strip club. It'll be, like, the raunchiest vows ever, and I'm sure the minister will probably pass out.
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [to Victor] You want a chair? Have a seat on me.
[throws Victor's chair out of the window]
[Damon hears that Michael is interested in Victoria]
Damon Porter: Well, I'll be damned.
Michael Baldwin: I'm sure you will be.
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [Ashley has just announced her engagement to Blade] I don't know what I think about having a brother-in-law named after a kitchen utensil.
Victoria Nicole Newman #4: [they are all standing in the Abbott's living room] Michael, what are you doing here?
Michael Baldwin: Oh, didn't Jack tell you?
Victoria Nicole Newman #4: Tell me what?
Michael Baldwin: Well, see, my mother came to town and married Jack's father so we's kin now...
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: Please, I just ate.
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [Jill has been whining about something] You know, Jill, if whining and complaining was an Olympic sport, you'd already have several gold medals.
Lauren Fenmore: [Jack has just expressed his disgust at Lauren's upcoming marriage to Michael] Look, I want you to be at the wedding, but I also want you to bring your good manners as a date.
Katherine Chancellor Sterling: [to Jill] Go and play in the traffic!
Nikki Reed Foster Bancroft DiSalvo Newman Abbott Newman #2: How dare you? I have far more right to be at Jabot than you do. I put up thirty-five million dollars to get into this company! You slept your way in!
Jill Foster Abbott #4: You slept your way into the thirty-five million!
Brittany: That's better. So what are you doin' here?
Bobby: Come on, I need an excuse? I came down to see your gorgeous face. It's been, like, 12 hours.
Brittany: You're so sweet.
Bobby: Your roommates home?
Brittany: No, Mac's at school, and J.T.'s off rediscovering his manhood.
Bobby: He's doing what?
Victor Newman: [Victor and Nikki are fighting over her job offer from Jack] Victor, I don't have time to argue with you! I have a job to go to!
Nikki Reed Foster Bancroft DiSalvo Newman Abbott Newman #2: I don't care about your damn job! How can you even consider working for Jack Abbott?
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [the Abbott's are having breakfast together] Gee, Gloria you sure are in a chipper mood today.
Gloria Fisher Abbott #2: Well, I actually have some good news that I'm very excited about but I don't know if you'd all be interested...
Ashley Abbott Carlton: Good news is in short supply these days. What's your news?
John Abbott #2: Ashley's right, What's your news, Gloria?
Gloria Fisher Abbott #2: Ok, then, the news is that my son is engaged to marry Lauren Fenmore and I just couldn't be any more thrilled. There, that's it.
[John, Jack, Phyllis and Ashley all sit and stare at Gloria in silence]
Gloria Fisher Abbott #2: Well, aren't you all going to say anything?
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: I wanted to thank you, Victor. When you fired Phyllis, that freed her up to come to work as Vice-President for Web Design and Marketing for Jabot.
Victor Newman: Jack Abbott, you are incorrigible.
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [smirking] You bet.
Nikki Reed Foster Bancroft DiSalvo Newman Abbott Newman #2: [after slapping him] Who the hell do you think you are?
Jed Sanders: A guy who just got slapped pretty damn hard.
Phyllis Summers [#1]: [to Jack Abbott Jr] You've always thought of Victor Newman as Darth Vader, when did you decide to go to the Dark Side?
Bobby: [Jack is sitting at the AC bar] Hey, Mr. Abbott, you know the Newman's, right?
John "Jack" Abbott, Jr. #2: [he takes a long sip of his drink] Intimately.
Phyllis Summers [#1]: [Hearing Jack's plan to have Christine provide legal help to Jabot] Ah, 'The Bug' to the rescue again.
Katherine Chancellor Sterling: [about Jill] I don't relish coming home and finding this monster is breathing the air that I have to breathe.
Lauren Fenmore: It is taking everything inside of me not to scratch your eyes out!
Sheila Carter: Well make no mistake the feeling is mutual.
Diane Jenkins: [to Nikki] Well you've heard of the old expression, haven't you? "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt," Nik.