Man of La Mancha (1972)
Miguel de Cervantes: Life as it is. I've lived for over 40 years and I've seen life as it is. Pain. Misery. Cruelty beyond belief. I've heard all the voices of God's noblest creature. Moans from bundles of filth in the street. I've been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them in my arms at the final moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no brave last words, only their eyes, filled with confusion, questioning "Why?" I do not think they were asking why they were dying, but why they had ever lived. When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness To surrender dreams - -this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash. Too much sanity may be madness! And maddest of all - to see life as it is and not as it should be!
Miguel de Cervantes: I'm a poet.
The Duke: They're putting people in prison for that?
Miguel de Cervantes: No, no, no, not for that.
The Duke: Too bad.
Miguel de Cervantes: I shall impersonate a man. His name is Alonso Quijana, a country squire no longer young. Being retired, he has much time for books. He studies them from morn till night and often through the night and morn again, and all he reads oppresses him; fills him with indignation at man's murderous ways toward man. He ponders the problem of how to make better a world where evil brings profit and virtue none at all; where fraud and deceit are mingled with truth and sincerity. He broods and broods and broods and broods and finally his brains dry up. He lays down the melancholy burden of sanity and conceives the strangest project ever imagined - -to become a knight-errant, and sally forth into the world in search of adventures; to mount a crusade; to raise up the weak and those in need. No longer will he be plain Alonso Quijana, but a dauntless knight known as Don Quixote de La Mancha.
Miguel de Cervantes: I have never had the courage to believe in nothing.
The Duke: I invent false information about a country and sell it to others stupid enough to believe it.
Miguel de Cervantes: Seems a sound proposition. What brought you here?
The Duke: A lapse of judgment. I told the truth.
The Governor: We generally fine a prisoner all his possessions.
Miguel de Cervantes: All of them.
The Governor: It's not practical to take more.
Don Quixote: A knight must not complain of his wounds, though his bowels be dropping out.
Don Quixote: Not well? What is illness to the body of a knight-errant? What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise again, and woe to the wicked.
The Padre: One might say Jesus was mad... Or Saint Francis.
Dr. Sanson Carrasco: A man who chooses to be mad can also choose to be sane.
The Padre: Oh, yes. It was easy enough planning this enterprise... but it will be difficult to come out of it well. May not the cure be more cruel than the disease?
Miguel de Cervantes: For me alone was Don Quixote born, and I for him. I give him to you.
Don Quixote: [about to attack the windmill] Ho, there, foul monster! Cease the knocking at thy craven knees and prepare to do battle!
Sancho Panza: [nearly simultaneously] Your Grace, I swear by my wife's little black moustache that's not a giant, it's only a...
[with a yell, Don Quixote charges off]
Miguel de Cervantes: It is imperative each knight has a lady; a knight without a lady is a body without a soul. To whom would he dedicate his conquests? What visions sustain him when he sallies forth to do battle with evil and with giants?
Aldonza: All right, you're a squire. How does a squire squire?
Sancho Panza: Well, first, I ride behind him. Then he fights. And then I pick him up off the ground.
Don Quixote: ...that I may dedicate each victory to her and call upon her in defeat, and if at last I give my life, I give it in the sacred name of Dulcinea.
Don Quixote: Dost not see? A monstrous giant of infamous repute whom I intend to encounter.
Sancho Panza: It's a windmill.
Don Quixote: A giant. Canst thou not see the four great arms whirling at his back?
Sancho Panza: A giant?
Don Quixote: Exactly.
Sancho Panza: Many a man has gone to bed feeling well, only to wake up the next morning and find himself dead.
Don Quixote: That's a proverb.
Sancho Panza: Yes, Your Grace.
Don Quixote: I don't approve of them.
Don Quixote de La Mancha: [singing] To right the unrightable wrong / To love, pure and chaste from afar / To try, when your arms are too weary / To reach the unreachable star.
The Barber: [singing, of Don Quixote] I can hear the cuckoo singing in the cuckooberry tree.
Sancho Panza: [singing] If he says that that's a helmet, I suggest that you agree.
The Barber: [singing] But he'll find it is not gold and will not make him bold and brave.
Sancho Panza: [singing] Well, at least he'll find it useful if he ever needs a shave.
Aldonza: You know what the worst crime of all is? Being born. For that you get punished your whole life.
Sancho: They say one madman makes a hundred and love makes a thousand.
Aldonza: What does that mean?
Sancho: I'm not sure.
The Innkeeper: When has a poor man ever found time to run mad? Of course he has money, he's a gentleman.
Captain of the Guard: If you need anything, just shout... If you're able.
Cervantes' Manservant: What did he mean by that?
Miguel de Cervantes: He meant to frighten us. I think they intend us to stay.
Miguel de Cervantes: We are to appear before the Inquisition.
The Governor: Heresy?
Miguel de Cervantes: No, not exactly. You see, we were presenting an entertainment.
The Governor: An entertainment? How does an entertainment get into trouble with the Inquisition?
Cervantes' Manservant: Perhaps they found an entertainment is not always what it seems.
The Governor: [to the Manservant] But why are YOU here?
Cervantes' Manservant: Somebody has to stage-manage the stage.
The Governor: Ho, ho! These two have empty holes in their heads!
Alonso Quijana: Soft and fair, my friends; in last year's nests there are no birds this year.
The Barber: Oh, by the beard of St. Anthony... I do believe I see before me... a knight... in full armor. It's ridiculous! There aren't any knights!
Don Quixote: [draws his sword] What?
The Barber: I was wrong. Forgive me. Forgive me, your... your... bigness. I thought I'd been touched by the sun.
Aldonza: And you, Señor Don Quixote, your head is going to end up a stranger to your neck.
Don Quixote: [to the innkeeper] See that your grooms care for my fleet-footed Rocinante, a horse of courage, sobriety, and chastity; the flower and glory of horseflesh.
Aldonza: [singing, to Don Quixote] If you feel that you see me, not quite at my virginal best, / cross my palm with a coin, and I'll willingly show you the rest.
Don Quixote: [speaking] Never deny that thou art Dulcinea.
Captain of the Guard: This is what we've come to regard as the common room, for those who wait.
Miguel de Cervantes: Do they wait long?
Captain of the Guard: An hour... a lifetime... who knows?
Miguel de Cervantes: Do they all await the Inquisition?
Captain of the Guard: Ah, no, señor, not all of them. Most of these are merely thieves and murderers.
Don Quixote de La Mancha: [singing] To fight for the right / Without question or pause / To be willing to march / Into Hell for a Heavenly cause!
The Governor: [removing his cap respectfully] Cervantes, I think Don Quixote is brother to Cervantes.
Miguel de Cervantes: God help us - we are both men of La Mancha.
Don Quixote: Dear God, it is she. Sweet lady, fair virgin. I dare not gaze fully upon thy countenance as I'd be blinded by beauty.
Aldonza: I'll get you the wine.
Don Quixote: My lady, you must not wait upon my needs, I implore you. Speak once, your name
Don Quixote: My lady jest!
Aldonza: Alright! He's a man, isn't he! He wants what every other man wants!
Don Quixote: Victory.
Sancho Panza: Victory.
Don Quixote: Victory!
Sancho Panza: Victory?
Don Quixote: Victory! VIctory! Victory!
Alonso Quijana: My friend.
Sancho Panza: Did your Grace say something?
Alonso Quijana: You are a fat pudding stuffed with proverbs.
Don Quixote: Knowest thou what that really is?
The Barber: Uh-uh.
Don Quixote: The Golden Helmet of Mambrino. When worn by one of noble heart, it rendereth him invulnerable to all wounds. From what fallen knight didst thou steal it?
The Barber: I didn't steal it.
Don Quixote: Surrender it!
The Barber: Well, it cost me half a crown!
Don Quixote: Surrender it, or I'll split...
[the Barber screams as he drops the shaving basin]
Sancho Panza: I must say, Your Grace, it is worth half a crown.
Don Quixote: Peasant.