A Confederate captain's younger brother is flogged to death in a Union stockade. The captain vows revenge. Two years later he finds the men responsible running a rustling operation in a small western town.
A stockbroker caught in a scandal. A television reporter nailed by his own breaking news. A kinky lawyer seeking a new position. A beautiful model in love with sex. A tortured musician. A ... See full summary »
Mark S. Porro
Eve is an ordinary married woman. A happy, spiritual woman who lives an idyllic life. But events take a turn for the worse when she's bitten by a snake. For this is no ordinary snake. And ... See full summary »
Foul, twitchy, and deranged sex maniac Johnny Laster comes up with a plan to abduct a lovely young heiress in order to obtain her considerable inheritance. After said plan goes disastrously... See full summary »
I knew it was possible to make bad movies, I know it was possible to make horrid movies, I knew it was possible to make movies so awful they could originate personality disturbs, but I didn't know it was possible to make NON-MOVIES.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is a NON-MOVIE.
And what's a NON-MOVIE? It's the radical opposite of what we know as a movie. This NON-MOVIE pretends to be a horror comedy, but not only it is neither funny nor scary, but IT DOESN'T EVER SEEM TO TRY TO BE. Two singers (the Calatrava brothers, one supposedly good-looking, and the other ugly as Hell), wrongly taken for spies, are trapped in a castle, among American and Russian spies that aren't spies because they are fake spies, but they are after some formula. Some goofy-looking monsters are around there. The singers sing a pair of awful songs. The monsters are also fake. The fake spies are discovered. The singers sing again. The End.
Do I actually need to say that you must avoid this NON-MOVIE at all costs? 1 out of 10 (which makes me feel sorry for some of the movies I gave 1 out of 10 to before).
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