Rafael Acosta: You're better suited for making love than for making war.
[François Thévenot has unknowingly interrupted an illicit rendezvous between his wife and Rafael Acosta]
M. Thévenot: Coming home with me?
Simone Thévenot: Yes.
Rafael Acosta: No, no, wait. Let her stay just two minutes more. I must show her the sursiks.
M. Thévenot: What?
Rafael Acosta: The sursiks.
M. Thévenot: Ah, yes. I'll wait in the car.
Simone Thévenot: I'll come right away.
[François Thévenot leaves]
Simone Thévenot: What are sursiks?
Rafael Acosta: I don't know. It doesn't matter. Come quick!
Henri Sénéchal: Any news from Miranda?
Rafael Acosta: Yes.
Henri Sénéchal: The situation?
Rafael Acosta: Quite calm.
Henri Sénéchal: And the guerrillas?
Rafael Acosta: There are a few left. They are a part of our folklore.
Alice Sénéchal: You have problems with the students?
Rafael Acosta: Students are young. They must have some fun.
Simone Thévenot: How's your government treating them?
Rafael Acosta: We are not against the students, but what can you do with a room full of flies? You take a fly-swatter and Bang! Bang!
[the Senechals are preparing to make love. There is a knock at the door]
Henri Sénéchal: What is it?
Ines: The guests are here, sir.
Henri Sénéchal: Tell them we'll be down. Serve them drinks.
Alice Sénéchal: They can wait five minutes. Come on.
Henri Sénéchal: No, no, not here. We can't.
Alice Sénéchal: But why?
Henri Sénéchal: You scream too loud. You know it.
Colonel: Marijuana isn't a drug. Look at what goes on in Vietnam. From the general down to the private, they all smoke.
Simone Thévenot: As a result, once a week they bomb their own troops.
Colonel: If they bomb their own troops, they must have their reasons.
Colonel: I didn't know that chivalry still existed in your semi-savage country.
Rafael Acosta: Sir, you just insulted the Republic of Miranda!
Colonel: I don't give a damn about the Republic of Miranda!
Rafael Acosta: And I shit on your entire army!
Peasant: Father? I want to tell you something.
Bishop Dufour: Then tell me, my child.
Peasant: I really don't like Jesus Christ. Even as a little girl I hated him.
Bishop Dufour: Such a good, gentle God? How is it possible?
Peasant: Want to know why?
Bishop Dufour: Let me tend to this sick man first, then we'll talk.
[Bishop Dufour is being introduced to the ambassador from Miranda]
Bishop Dufour: I'm delighted to meet you. We have an important mission in Bogota.
Rafael Acosta: Bogota is in Colombia.
Bishop Dufour: That's right, Colombia. Sorry, I got mixed up. I've never been to Miranda, but I hear it is a magnificent country: the Great Cordillera, the pampas...
Rafael Acosta: The pampas are in Argentina, monsignor.
Bishop Dufour: The pampas. Of course. I should've known that. Recently I saw a book on Latin America. There were photos of your ancient pyramids.
Rafael Acosta: Our pyramids? We have no pyramids in Miranda. Mexico and Guatemala have pyramids. We don't.
Bishop Dufour: You're sure?
Rafael Acosta: Absolutely.