Sally: I'm going to be a great film star! That is, if booze and sex don't get me first.
Sally: [singing] Life is a cabaret ol' chum so come to the Cabaret.
[on the pronunciation of "phlegm"]
Brian Roberts: P H is always pronounced as F, and, uh, you don't sound the G.
Natalia Landauer: Then why are they putting the G, please?
Brian Roberts: That's, that's a very good question, but rather difficult to explain.
Sally: Try, Brian.
Brian Roberts: Well, uh, it's just there.
Natalia Landauer: So, Mr. Professor, you do not know?
Brian Roberts: No.
Natalia Landauer: Then I am sorry. I cannot help you.
Master of Ceremonies: [singing] Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome, im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret!
Natalia: I am sorry to bother you, but I could not tell no one else. I do not know no other woman who gives her body so frequently... Oh! I am sorry, my English. Have I offended you?
Sally: Oh, no, not at all.
Master of Ceremonies: Outside it is windy, but inside it is so hot, every night we have ze battle to keep the girls from taking off all their clothing. So don't go away, who knows? Tonight we may lose the battle!
Master of Ceremonies: In here, life is beautiful. The girls are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful!
[Curtains pull back to reveal an all-girl band]
Sally: I saw a film the other day about syphilis. Ugh! It was too awful. I couldn't let a man touch me for a week. Is it true you can get it from kissing?
Fritz: Oh, yes. And your king, Henry VIII, got it from Cardinal Wolsey whispering in his ear.
Natalia: That is not, I believe, founded in fact. But from kissing, most decidedly; and from towels, and from cups.
Sally: And of course screwing.
Natalia: Screw-ing, please?
Sally: Oh, uh...
Sally: Oh, uh, Bri, darling, what is the German word?
Brian Roberts: I don't remember.
Sally: [thinking] Oh... um... oh yes!
Brian Roberts: Oh, no...
Natalia: [appalled] Oh.
Brian Roberts: That would be the one German word you pronounce perfectly.
Sally: Well, I ought to. I spent the entire afternoon bumsening like mad with this ghastly old producer who promised to get me a contract.
Sally: Gin, Miss Landauer?
[describing a telegram from her father]
Sally: Ten words exactly. After ten it's extra. You see, Daddy thinks of these things. If I had leprosy, there'd be a cable: "Gee, kid, tough. Sincerely hope nose doesn't fall off. Love."
Fritz Wendel: Do you know what she has done to me? It's terrible! She has turned me into an honest man.
Sally: Well obviously those three girls were just...
Brian: Screw Maximilian!
Sally: I do.
Brian: So do I.
Sally: You two bastards!
Brian: Two? Two? Shouldn't that be three?
Brian Roberts: Aren't you ever gonna stop deluding yourself, hmm? Handling Max? Behaving like some ludicrous little underage femme fatale? You're... you're about as fatale as an after dinner mint!
Sally: The only thing you can do with virgins like that is pounce!
Sally: Bri, listen... we're practically living together, so if you only like boys I wouldn't dream of pestering you.
Sally: Well, do you sleep with girls or don't you?
Brian: Sally! You don't ask questions like that!
Sally: I do.
Brian: Sally is rather knowledgeable in these areas.
Fritz: You do what Sally says, you end up I think in prison.
Sally: So, you took on the whole Nazi party?
[Brian holds up three fingers]
Brian Roberts: You're American.
Sally: Oh God, how depressing! You're meant to think I'm an international woman of mystery. I'm working on it like mad.
Sally: Mayr tells Kost's fortune every morning, and it's always the same: "You will meet a strange man." Which under the circumstances is a pretty safe bet.
Sally: Of course, I may bring a boyfriend home occasionally, but only occasionally, because I do think that one ought to go to the man's room if one can. I mean, it doesn't look so much as if one expected it, does it?
Sally: I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing, working at a place like the Kit Kat Club.
Brian Roberts: Well, it is a rather unusual place.
Sally: That's me, darling. Unusual places, unusual love affairs. I am a most strange and extraordinary person.
Brian Roberts: How's the, uh, gigolo campaign going?
Fritz Wendel: Terrible. This week, already I'm giving up three dinner invitations to spend thirty-two marks on her.
Brian Roberts: That's quite a sacrifice.
Fritz Wendel: And here's the craziness: I like it. God damn it!
Brian Roberts: What?
Fritz Wendel: I think I'm falling in love with her.
Brian Roberts: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Fritz Wendel: So am I.
Sally: My God! It's enough to drive a girl into a convent! Do they have Jewish nuns?
Brian Roberts: You did it, didn't you?
Sally: Did what, darling?
Brian Roberts: The abortion. In God's name, why?
Sally: One of my whims?
Hitler Youth: [singing] Oh, Fatherland. Fatherland / Show us the sign / Your children have waited to see / The morning will come when the world is mine / Tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs to me!
Master of Ceremonies: Leave your troubles outside! Life is disappointing? Forget it!
Brian: [after trying a prairie oyster for the first time] Peppermint prairie oysters?
Sally: Oh, you got the toothpaste glass!
[laughs a little]