Father Mulcahy counsels a guilt-ridden GI who swapped tags with a dead colleague. B.J. and Charles consider ways of keeping a soldier-salesman quiet, while Hawkeye and Margaret help another GI get even with the woman who jilted him.
The Army is starting a new MASH unit, and the surgeons and staff of the 4077th fear they will be split up and reassigned. So they act completely unprofessional, uncouth, and incompetent in front of an army rep hoping he will reconsider.
It's the day of Klinger's hearing before a trial of angry officers. Will Klinger be sent up the river? With Charles as his attorney, it's almost certain. Meanwhile, Hawkeye and B.J. set out to catch the real thief.
While Winchester fearfully avoids getting his agonizing toothache treated, the other surgeons discover a racist commander is sending his African-American soldiers disproportionally into dangerous duty.
When Charles, Hawkeye, and B.J. determine promotion recommendations, they are wooed by the enlisted staff while a bully physically threatens Charles. Potter helps a GI who is being razzed by colleagues for being faithful to his girl.
A famous prizefighter, 'Gentleman Joe' Cavanaugh, comes to visit the 4077th and while there, has a stroke. Everyone is irritated by Pierce, who as his doctor, becomes the spokesman to the press. Father Mulcahey is upset, since Gentleman Joe was his childhood hero.
Ignoring Margaret's offers to help, Potter and B.J. head a bowling team in a championship match against the Marines. Hawkeye's father is having an operation back home, so Hawkeye feels helpless enough to confide in Charles.
After becoming fed up with his bunkmates' living habits, Hawkeye moves out of The Swamp and into a quaint shack behind Rosie's. Meanwhile, Charles and B.J. continue to annoy one another: Charles with his loud, classical music playing at all hours, and B.J. constantly sharing news of Erin's potty training; Colonel Potter wants to paint a portrait of the entire camp as a present for Mildred, but it proves difficult with the men fighting with one another. Klinger, Margaret and Father Mulcahy take it upon themselves to try and get the Swampmen back together. Will they ...
A peddler wheels his cart into camp. Klinger buys from him a goat to get rich selling milk. B.J. shows interest in a blue vase, but Charles outbids him greatly. Meanwhile, much to his chagrin, Hawkeye is paymaster again. But just as he gets the pay rolling, wounded arrive. Hawkeye tells Klinger to keep an eye on the money while he's in surgery. Unfortunately, Klinger left the money in his office alone with the goat...Hawk and Klinger return to find the money gone. It had been eaten. No way would I-CORPS believe that. Worse yet, he still had a ton of angry, unpaid ...