A gang of pirates rape the two sole survivors of a ship wreck. The violated girls are rescued by the strange inhabitants of a supposedly haunted island, where they are granted supernatural powers to strike revenge against the pirates.
On the run from an asylum for the insane, a feisty young girl and a forlorn female companion embark on a surreal journey with a group of traveling erotic dancers. Wandering from the fantastic to the farcical and back again,
A lesbian vampire couple waylay and abduct various passer-byes, both male and female, to hold them captive at their rural manor in the English countryside in order to kill and feed on them to satisfy their insatiable thirst for blood.
José Ramón Larraz
An incestuous and industrious pair of modern-day vampires finds their clever manner of acquiring sustenance threatened by a nosy New Jersey health inspector and a determined investigative ... See full summary »
This movie starts with a bang, literally. It's the story of the two worst vampires in cinema... they dress like clowns (again literally), aren't affected by sunlight, don't have super strength, are afraid of bats, corpses and other vampires, but they do have the ability to spontaneously change attire and spawn pistols. Oh and they drink blood but seem to prefer french fries... and making out... with each other... while naked. The film starts with a nice little shootout and car chase but that must have blown a good chunk of budget because they spend a long time just walking around after that. Soon enough the girls are captured by a vampire. We know he's a vampire because he has ridiculous looking canines sticking out of his mouth and bats. Hijinks ensue... in his Gothic BDSM dungeon. Oh, and I was wrong, the girls aren't vampires, they are virgins! And you can't be a vampire if you're a virgin, says the king vampire, go find men, says the king; and they do. But one girl meets a handsome young man and decides that lesbo stuff is for squares and now she doesn't want to be a vampire. It's an age old story. By the way, it's French so prepare for armpit hair! Luckily for the actors they just had to look good because there probably aren't a dozen lines in the whole film. By all standards this is a terrible film yet I was entertained.
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