Duck, You Sucker (1971)
John H. Mallory: [to Dr. Villega] When I started using dynamite... I believed in... many things, all of it! Now, I believe only in dynamite. I don't judge you, Villega. I did that only... once in my life. Get shovellin'.
John H. Mallory: Where there's revolution there's confusion, and when there's confusion, a man who knows what he wants stands a good chance of getting it.
Juan Miranda: I know what I am talking about when I am talking about the revolutions. The people who read the books go to the people who can't read the books, the poor people, and say, "We have to have a change." So, the poor people make the change, ah? And then, the people who read the books, they all sit around the big polished tables, and they talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat, eh? But what has happened to the poor people? They're dead! That's your revolution. Shhh... So, please, don't tell me about revolutions! And what happens afterwards? The same fucking thing starts all over again!
John H. Mallory: [exhales] Whew. Hmmm.
[throws a book he was reading into the mud: Mikhael A. Bakunin, The Patriotism]
[opening title card]: The revolution is not a social dinner, a literary event, a drawing or an embroidery; it cannot be done with... elegance and courtesy. The revolution is an act of violence... -Mao Tse-tung
Juan Miranda: [a bird in a cage defecates on Juan's head, Juan looks up] For the rich you sing.
[alternate opening title card]: A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; It cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows the other. -MAO TSE TUNG
[John opens his coat to reveal the explosives he carries]
John H. Mallory: You pull that trigger and shoot me, I fall. And if I fall... they'll have to alter all the maps.
[repeated line, right before something explodes]
John H. Mallory: Duck, you sucker!
[last lines in uncut version]
Juan Miranda: [quietly] What about me?
[one of Juan's sons has just fired a pistol into the air]
Juan Miranda: How many times have I told you, Chulo? No shooting unless papa pulls the trigger!
Dr. Villega: Not *everybody* can fight. There are those who must organize, coordinate.
Sean Mallory: Yes, yes. Of course!
Juan Miranda: [turning binoculars the wrong way] He says it's no danger just watch the bridge from a long way.
[turning binoculars the right way]
Juan Miranda: No matter how I look with them we're still too close to the bridge. What am I doing mixed up in this fucking revolution in the first place? You tell me God, what am I doing here? Why didn't you strike me to death instead of letting me say: I stay too! Oh, look at him. All because of him! He acts like a tourist who's going somewhere, only he's staying, eh, just look at him. What the hell does he care, he's having fun. I'm glad he's having fun, God, because I'm not having fun, No! Hey, what's this?
[looks at John with binoculars]
Juan Miranda: Heh, now he goes to sleep, eh. You go ahead, you sleep. Sleep. I tell you something God: When he's asleep, I go. Shhh.
Juan Miranda: What's that?
John H. Mallory: A map.
[Juan puts it under his head]
John H. Mallory: Hey, that's your country you're lying all over, there!
Juan Miranda: Not my country. My country is me and my family.
John H. Mallory: Say, which way is it to Lucanina?
Juan Miranda: Fuck you! Go find it yourself!
John H. Mallory: Ah hahahaha!
Juan Miranda: Mexico is big, but for you it is going to be very big!
Dr. Villega: I see. You've already judged and condemned me.
[John doesn't answer]
Dr. Villega: That's why you've brought me with you. To kill me. It's easy to judge. Have you ever been tortured? Are you sure you wouldn't talk? I was sure. And yet I talked. Some men died because of me. What should I do? Kill myself? Why? The dead remain dead but me, I have not changed. I still believe in the same things. I can continue to serve the cause!
John H. Mallory: Shut up, Villega! Shut up, for Christ's sake.
American on wagon: [regarding peasants] Every country has its own plague. Just like them niggers... we got back home.
Notary on Stagecoach: Just like animals, you mean, because that's what they are.
Landowner on stagecoach: Exactly. Which is why they're half-wits...
John H. Mallory: Where are you going, for Christ's sake?
Juan Miranda: I don't know. I don't know, but something's wrong. I went into the bank. But when I go in the bank, there's nothing there, no money, nothing.
John H. Mallory: Oh, well, the bank and the money were transferred to Mexico City over a month ago. Well, they've been using this place for a political prison ever since.
Juan Miranda: What? What do you mean a political prison?
John H. Mallory: Well, I never said a thing about money. All I asked you was if you wanted to get inside.
Juan Miranda: But you know that this bank is my life! This is my dream!
John H. Mallory: Well, the reality of that is you just liberated 150 patriots through sheer courage in the face of danger.
John H. Mallory: [chuckles]
John H. Mallory: Ah yes, you're a grand hero of the revolution, now. Viva Miranda.
Juan Miranda: [the crowd lifts Miranda on its shoulders] I don't want to be a hero! All I want is the money! The money!
John H. Mallory: Viva Miranda!
Juan Miranda: You taught me one thing!
John H. Mallory: What?
Juan Miranda: [gives Mallory the finger] How to get fucked!
Juan Miranda: Hey, what kind of trouble you in?
John H. Mallory: Oh, we had a wee fart of a revolution in Ireland.
Juan Miranda: A revolution? Seems to me the revolutions are all over the world. You know, they're like the *crabs*! We had a revolution here. When it started, all the brave people went in it, and what it did to them was terrible. Pancho Villa, the best bandit chief in the world, you know that? This man had two balls like the bull. He went in the revolution as a great bandit. When he came out, he came out as what? Nothing. A general, huh? That, to me, is the bullshit!
American on wagon: You'll pay for this, you bastards! I'm a citizen of the United States of America!
Papa Miranda: To me, you are just a naked son of a bitch. Understand, Yankee?
Juan Miranda: Listen, Günther Ruiz is after us, and now Villa wants to talk to me, I think we should get outta here.
Sean Mallory: [puffing on cigar] Well, Jesus, Juan-o, you can't leave now, you're a great, grand, glorious hero of the revolution.
Juan Miranda: Uh, can I tell you something?
Sean Mallory: What?
Juan Miranda: [whispering] Fuck you.
John H. Mallory: [to Juan, who is lying on a map] That's your country you're lyin' all over.
Juan Miranda: [drowsily] Not my country. My country is me and my family.
Priest: [about peasants] I hate saying it, but you should hear them in the confessional. You would never imagine. Did you know that they...
Adelita, woman in stagecoach: I can imagine, Father. I can imagine. Living in such promiscuity. All of them in one room, male and female together, lying in a heap, like rats in a sewer. At night, when the lights are out, all their inhibitions disappear. You never know who's next: mother, sister, goat... goat.
Juan Miranda: What kinda work you do for the German? Listen, I asked you a question. What do you do for the German?
John H. Mallory: I've been looking for silver.
Juan Miranda: Silver? You know something? I don't understand you. I don't understand how you waste your time and your holy water looking for silver. To me, that's a sin.
John H. Mallory: Do you have any better ideas?
Juan Miranda: Si, I think gold is better than silver.
John H. Mallory: Ah, there isn't any gold in these hills.
Juan Miranda: Oh ho, yes there is! In Mesa Verde.
John H. Mallory: Mesa Verde? It's a city.
Juan Miranda: Of course it's a city! Who ever heard of having a bank in the country, huh?
John H. Mallory: Uh huh, a bank.
Juan Miranda: Not "a bank." *The bank!* The most beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, gorgeous, magnificent bank in the whole world! When you stand before the bank and you see it has the gates of gold, like it was the gates of heaven. And when you go inside, everything, *everything* is gold! Gold spittoons, gold handles, and money, money, money is everywhere. And you know, I know 'cause I saw this when I was eight years old. I went there with my father. He tried to rob the bank, but they caught him. But they will never catch me, eh, Papa?
Papa Miranda: Right.
Juan Miranda: Listen, Firecracker. Now you listen to me. Listen, why don't you come with me, eh? And we will work together and we will become rich!