Mike and Lionel decide to become part of an anti-war protest, but it isn't until they leave that Gloria gets the news that the situation is turning violent. She and Edith urge Archie to go down to the protest and bring him home. Mike comes home frazzled but unharmed, but Archie ends up in the slammer surrounded by commies, hippies and drop-outs. Mike secures his release because the police captain is Polish, but Archie doesn't know that and offends the captain, leaving him to stay in jail a little longer.
Edith writes a poem and gets a letter from a company that wants to turn it into a song for only $30. Archie buys a "dog alarm" and a gun to protect the house all for only $60. The family gets into an argument over which is more important and Archie agrees to give the gun back. That night two burglars, who have just robbed a jewelry store, break into the house and hold the Bunker's hostage until the heat is off. At one point, the thief threatens to take off with the $30 but Edith talks him out of it by offering to sing the song. After hearing her singing, they decide ...
Edith's shopping cart gets away from her, resulting in a minor paint scratch. Out of the cart pops a can of "mmmm-mmmm" (cling peaches) in heavy syrup, causing a dent in the hood. Edith leaves a note on the car and the owner comes by to collect the damages.
Archie is a passenger in an elevator that stalls between floors, and reacts predictably to his fellow passengers: A black businessman, a scatterbrained secretary and a Puerto Rican man and his very pregnant wife, who goes into labor.
Mike's ex-girlfriend arrives, contending he fathered her 4-year-old son. Mike strongly denies he ever became serious with the woman, but a furious Gloria or an irate Archie isn't interested in his side of the story.