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You Can't Win 'Em All (1970)

GP  -  Comedy | Adventure  -  24 July 1970 (USA)
6.2
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Ratings: 6.2/10 from 539 users  
Reviews: 12 user | 3 critic

Two former U.S. Army soldiers, Adam Dyer and Josh Corey, join a band of Turkish mercenaries in 1922 Turkey whom are hired by Osman Bey, a local governor, to escort his tree daughters to ... See full summary »

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Title: You Can't Win 'Em All (1970)

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Adam Dyer
...
Michèle Mercier ...
Grégoire Aslan ...
Osman Bey
Fikret Hakan ...
Col. Elci
Salih Güney ...
Capt. Enver
Patrick Magee ...
The General - Ataturk
Tony Bonner ...
Reese
John Acheson ...
Davis
...
Wollen
Leo Gordon ...
Bolek
Reed De Rouen ...
U.S. Navy CPO
Paul Stassino ...
Gunner major
Henia Halil ...
Madam
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
John Alderson ...
U.S. Army major
Edit

Storyline

Two former U.S. Army soldiers, Adam Dyer and Josh Corey, join a band of Turkish mercenaries in 1922 Turkey whom are hired by Osman Bey, a local governor, to escort his tree daughters to Smyran and to protect a gold shipment that is to accompany them. Nobody is aware that Elci, a local colonel, plans to seal the gold for himself, while a rebel general persuses all parties involved. Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Two soldiers of fortune matching wits and guns against the armies of two nations!

Genres:

Comedy | Adventure

Certificate:

GP | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

|

Language:

Release Date:

24 July 1970 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Soldiers of Fortune  »

Filming Locations:

 »

Company Credits

Production Co:

,  »
Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Color:

(Technicolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Was originally offered to director Howard Hawks, who passed on it. See more »

Goofs

The movie is set in 1922, but a contemporary Canadian flag appears on the wall in the tavern. In 1970, when the film was made, the Canadian flag shown had only existed for five years. See more »

Connections

Referenced in Vente a ligar al Oeste (1972) See more »

Soundtracks

Main Title Music
Composed by Bert Kaempfert & Herbert Rehbein
See more »

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User Reviews

 
Worst movie ever...
25 January 2004 | by (Lansing, Michigan) – See all my reviews

Well, what can I say. "Soldiers of Fortune" is definitely the worst movie I've ever seen.

Let's start at the beginning: A guy who supposedly was on a raft for a long time is finally rescued by Bronson. The man has horribly ripped pants and a shirt that is in ok condition, but the clincher is that he has no beard at all. Not even any stubble. And his hair wasn't shaggy or dirty. These seemingly minor details say an awful lot about how poorly made this movie was.

Later on Bronson and the other guy are in a bar and a bunch of armed soldiers burst in and start asking questions. A brawl begins. Not a single shot is fired by the soldiers. Bronson's men beat everyone up. As they leave for their ship, the soldiers exit the bar and start shooting AFTER the fight is over and many people have been beat up.

Later on Bronson is talking to the Sultan of Turkey about working for him. Whenever the sultan talks, his face is in the very corner of the screen and you can only occasionally see his whole face. Also, a microphone is extremely obvious just off-center.

Besides these details, the movie is extremely repetitive. I have no idea how many scenes contained Bronson and his men riding horses, camels, donkeys, etc.

Here's a rough depiction of a quote from the movie: Bronson hands the other guy a gun "This good charity is going to be the death of me." The other guy says "Better you than me." Bronson replies "I don't kill easy."

That quote just says it all. Something about it doesn't flow. I can understand what they're saying, but it doesn't sound like an English conversation.

These are just a few of the limitless things that make this movie so horrible. If you don't believe me that it sucks this bad, rent it for yourself. If you enjoy watching movies that are so bad that they are funny, this one is a must-see. The only movie I can think of that is even close to as bad as this one is Chuck Norris' "The Octagon".


5 of 33 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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