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The original Spanish title for this film was THE VAMPIRE OF THE HIGHWAY
but it isn't any more appropriate than the ludicrous one it is saddled
with here; now if it had been called "The Horrible, Stupid Film"...
Ostensibly a vampire flick, our villain here is also capable of invisibility(!) and only bites his victims after strangling them to death; besides, he keeps busting his descendant's balls to get him to do the right thing and drive a stake through his heart!! Now is that stupid or what? The latter is an albino-ish, handsome young man who, unfortunately, is prone to drinking himself senseless practically every night. All the girls in the film (of which there are, for no reason at all, about five or six) are there literally to undress, take a shower, put on the most inconsequential of nighties, make love with their hunk of a boyfriend and expire at the hands of the marauding Count Winninger(!) who naturally sports a Dracula-like cape and keeps his coffin in the basement of his castle. There is also the usual roster of disbelieving police detectives and officers who only serve as fodder for the blood-thirsty vampire.
My unconditional love for Horror movies will get me to watch almost anything in that vein, especially something of this vintage; it's a pity that this one here proved to be so anemic...
As cheesy as it can get. Really, this is terrible but is a must have
for so many horror buffs. The only way to see this Spanish horror is on
VHS. It never had a proper release and is only available by DVD-R
sellers or on 'Excellent' VHS, a Dutch label. And even then it goes
sometimes over 100 dollars. I have found it in excellent (no pun
intended) state on a flea market for almost nothing.
The acting is terrible and even the script sucks (again no pun intended). The vampire catches his victims not by his fangs but he strangle them. But it's a must see for the effects. The vampire do attack invisible. So you can guess how the victims move without seeing the vampire, really cheesy. There's also no blood to see just only when the stake is put into the hart of the vampire and even that is done by editing.
But why it's watchable is the fact that all girls strip nude before they are killed. A boring flick with gratuitous nudity.
Gore 0/5 Nudity 2/5 Effects 0/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5
"El vampiro de la autopista" (called "The Horrible Sexy Vampire" in English) is mostly what we would expect from any Euro-horror flick from the early '70s, namely the women who exist only to strip, shower and get killed. What I can't understand is why the vampire strangles people instead of directly drinking their blood (or why he tells his descendant to stop him). As long as we just accept that this movie has basically no purpose accept to teach hot women not to remove their clothes - which itself presupposes that horny men are watching so as to see their big breasts - then it's a pretty fun flick. But not much else (maybe it would have been a little neater had it starred Paul Naschy). I actually got to watch a version dubbed in English with Dutch subtitles. Go figure!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
This Spanish early Seventies movie is really boring in his depiction of
several murders made by a really strange vampire (for most of the movie
he is invisible and he doesn't bite the neck or other bodily parts of
his victims - both male and female - but he strangles them, uh?), a
German baron presumed dead in 1896.
It comes to his debauched blond heir to kill him and permit him to rest in peace.
Lot of assorted female nudities, almost always unrelated to sexual acts - the ladies are killed or assaulted during their baths - but very mitigated for today standards - but probably I've seen an edited version, because it was on Satellite TV -, so in the end the movie is totally dull, with a boring plot, bad acting, bad effects, no blood at all - and this is really strange for a so called vampire movie.
I won't rehash the plot. The above reviews got it right enough.
But I will say that this is one of those weirdly graphic Spanish horror(?) flicks. It repeats itself mercilessly, but gives you a new bit of nudity at the end of each screensaver of a plot development.
It just so happens I was in the perfect mood for for some groovy moderns and their struggle with ah...er, a sexy vampire? This is one of those movies that make so little sense that you wonder if the voice-over guys who did the English version didn't just say anything that popped into their heads.
But the weirdest thing of all, was when our phosphorescent protagonist orders a Mercedes Convertible at a rental agency.
What is strange is that there's about 6 inches of fresh snow on the ground. Not exactly weather where you'd need the top-down option.
So, anyway, someone must have gotten into a tizzie because the producer made them use his car to make some extra change, and they felt compelled to explain the use of a convertible in the movie.
I don't know. But considering how nonsensical the rest of the movie is, this bit of overcompensation stands out like a nervous tick.
NIPPLES! Had to put a word in for the nipples.
They were quite good.
Wal Davis and Ada Tauler have appeared in several Jesus Franco films,
many of the same ones. It causes one to suspect that the director, José
Luis Madrid, may just be another name that Franco uses.
This is not a Franco film. There is no blood as the vampire chokes his victims. Even though it is not Franco, there is no shortage of big naturals, as the vampire only attacks when the women are undressed. It is also unusual in the fact that he chokes, rather than the usual biting on the neck.
You don't have to be a vampire completeist to enjoy the film. Just enjoy the victims, some of whom do not appear in any other film.
Count Oblensky (Waldemar Wohlfahrt), heir to the Winninger estate,
moves into his ancestral castle despite a spate of unsolved murders in
the vicinity; there, he discovers the long dead Baron Winninger, a
vampire with the power of invisibility and a longing to be staked, who
is cursed to rise from his tomb to kill. Also unperturbed by the rising
number of corpses is Oblensky's tasty fiancé Susan, who pays her
boyfriend a visit and finds herself stalked by the undead baron.
The plot for The Horrible Sexy Vampire is decidedly mediocre and leads to quite a few stretches of tedium wherein a police inspector investigates the murders and Oblensky explores his castle. Thankfully, the film's bloodsucking baron has a proclivity for sexy female victims, attacking only after they have removed some or all of their clothes, meaning that the dreary scenes of police procedure and Oblensky's investigation of his new home are regularly punctuated by far more entertaining moments in which naked hotties are offed by the kill-crazy count (who seems to forget that he's a vampire, throttling his victims rather than making use of his fangs).
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The "Horrible Sexy Vampire" is not sexy and not a vampire in the
traditional sense. OK, I guess he is kind of handsome for an albino
Pole, but he doesn't drink blood; he strangles people to death. There
is not one drop of blood drank, or spilled, in this movie. Wtf kind of
vampire movie is that? The original Spanish title "El Vampiro de la
Autopista" translates to "The Vampire of the Highway" which makes no
more sense. A better name for the movie might be "The Murderous
Phantom" or "The Perverse Undead".
The "Sexy" part of the title probably refers to the number of attractive women who who their breasts in the movie, particularly red heads. The fiend really has a thing for red heads. There are a couple more unusual things about this movie: the fiend kills many police detectives, and he has the power of invisibility.
The movie is just police detectives getting strangled, half nude women getting strangled, and atmospheric scenes with Count Oblinski getting black-out-drunk alone in his ancestral mansion. I won't say its a horrible movie, but its a blood-free movie with "Vampire" in the title and its slow in parts. It strikes me as the kind of movie people were meant to make-out too.
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