Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970 TV Movie)
Narrator: Poor, misguided folks. They missed the whole point. Lot's of unhappiness? Maybe so. But doesn't Santa take a little bit of that unhappiness away? Doesn't a smile on Christmas morning scratch out a tear cried on a sadder day? Not much maybe. But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: I hate toys! And toys hate me! Either they are going or I am going and I definitely am not going!
Kris Kringle: You better watch out, better not cry, better not pout.
Kris Kringle: I'm telling you why!
Kris Kringle: 'Cause I came to town.
[when Santa's reindeer are first introduced]
Narrator: I'll bet you know their names.
Children: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!
[silhouette of ninth reindeer appears]
Child #2: Don't forget...
[reindeer's nose blinks red, revealing it to be Rudolph]
Narrator: No, that's another story.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Toys are hereby declared illegal, immoral, unlawful AND anyone found with a toy in his possession will be placed under arrest and thrown in the dungeon. No kidding!
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Stop! In the name of the law! You brats are under arrest! Take them away.
Kris Kringle: Don't arrest those children. It was my fault. I gave them the toys.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: You? How dare you! You are obviously a nonconformist and a rebel!
Kris Kringle: Me? Rebel?
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Arrest this man immediately!
Kris Kringle: [pulls out a toy] For you.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: [sputters] A yo-yo? I love yo-yos! I used to be able to do all kinds of tricks! Ooh wheeeeeeeeee! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
[plays with the yo-yo]
Grimsby: Excuse me, sir. But you're breaking your own laws.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: What? What do you think?
[gasps and chokes]
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Ooohh, I have been bamboozled! Arrest him! Arrest him!
Dingle: Wiggle my ears and tickle my toes, methinks I see a baby's nose! It's more than a nose. There's a whole baby attached to it. Better call my brothers! Wingle! Bingle! Tingle! Zingle!
Zingle: What is it, Dingle?
Wingle: It's a baby, Zingle.
Tingle: A baby what, Wingle?
Bingle: A baby baby, Tingle.
Dingle: I like babies, Bingle.
Bingle: Our baby's the best baby of them all, Wingle.
Kris Kringle: Changing from bad to good's as easy as taking your first step.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: This is outrageous! Toys! Toys everywhere! What sort of criminal is this Kringle? Sneaking into houses by night.
Jessica: If the Burgermeister saw you, we would all be in real danger!
Kris Kringle: In danger from toys?
Narrator: Hey, it's getting late, and I've got these letters to deliver. You better be getting home, too. And remember, behave yourselves, because Santa can still look into his magic snowball and see just what you're up to. And now that you know all about him, you can be darn sure that come snow or high water, Santa Claus is comin' to town!
Winter: You mustn't mind the tree monsters. Their bark is worse than their bite. Ha ha ha ha!
Grimsby: Look, sir, look what was discovered on your front stoop.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: What, Grimsby? The milk? The daily paper?
Grimsby: No, sir, a baby.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Oh, is that all?
[gasps and chokes]
Burgermeister Meisterburger: A *baby*?
Burgermeister Meisterburger: I, Burgermeister Meisterburger, take care of a baby? Outrageous! What's it's name?
Grimsby: This is the only clue, sir.
[an name tag]
Grimsby: It says, "Claus".
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Ah, take the little, er, baggage to the orphan asylum. That's the proper place for foundlings anyway.
[the baby starts to cry]
Burgermeister Meisterburger: [shouts] Get that brat out of here!
Narrator: And that is the story of Santa Claus.
Little Girl: He's so wonderful. Everybody must love him.
Narrator: Well, most everybody. Oh, he's not considered an outlaw any more. But there still are some...
Ebenezer Scrooge: Eh, bah, humbug.
Disgruntled Retailer: Christmas is a bother. The noise, the crowd. I really wish it were outlawed.
Businessman: How can they talk about Santa Claus when there is so much unhappiness in the world?
Newscaster: Today, children everywhere are making preparations for an event of world shaking significance: the annual visit of Santa Claus. Informed sources report that legions of junior citizens are making monumental efforts not to cry and not to pout. Meanwhile, letters by the thousands have been flooding postal facilities at the North Pole.
Narrator: Everybody has to be a baby at least once in their lives.
Burgermeister Meisterburger: [singing] It's a difficult responsibility / That you accept from the number one lawmaker, me / Let it known across the land from sea to sea / There'll be no more toymakers to the king.
Kris Kringle: Watch out for that dolly. She's a hardened criminal, I hear.
Winter: Alas, I have been... disenchanted. I have no more powers. I can't even do card tricks.
Tante Kringle: A baby! What a splendid idea. He shall live with us and sleep with us and drink warm cocoa with us.
Kris Kringle: Look, uh, before you do me in, would you tell your tree friends to let me loose for a second? You see, I have something for you.
Winter: What is this? A trick?
Kris Kringle: Oh, no sir, Mr. Warlock. Or, may I call you Winter?
Winter: Mr. Warlock if you please!
Kris Kringle: Oh. Well, I managed to save one little toy and I'd like you to have it.
Winter: You wish to give me... a present? A... a toy?
Kris Kringle: Yes, sir.
Winter: But, no one ever gives mean old Warlock a toy.
Kris Kringle: Come on. There's a lot more chimneys to explore tonight!
Narrator: Kris made a list of all the children and the toys they wanted. He checked it over once, then checked it over twice. He tried to figure out just who was naughty and who was nice.
Kris Kringle: Well, I guess they're all pretty nice.
Grimsby: Nobody is going to do anything! You are all under arrest for defying the law and making toys! And for being an accomplice to Public Enemy Number One: Kris Kringle!
Burgermeister Meisterburger: Good-bye, good luck, and good riddance.