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The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970) Poster

Quotes

Mrs. Ferret: Have you been fired?

Ferret: [brushing it off] Fired?

[laughs]

Ferret: Hahaha! Fired? Hahahaha

[more nervous now]

Mrs. Ferret: Then why is the car for sale?

[we see the car through the house window; in the side window there is a crudely written sign saying FORSALE]

Ferret: Oh that? That's a mistake. That's one of Rimmer's cockups. That should read Fors Ale. A new beer we're advertising.

[as giving a slogan]

Ferret: Fors Ale - keeps you hearty and hale.

Mrs. Ferret: Well I've never heard of it.

Ferret: And you may never! Very hush hush.

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Ferret: The survey shows that...

[realizing the survey asked the wrong question]

Ferret: ... it shows that 90% of English families do not eat boot polish for breakfast.

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Michael Rimmer: [schmoozing] Hugh, I loved your speech on abortion. It was really gorgeous.

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Priest: Have you been able to find time for the survey in regard to the declining attendance in England's churches?

Michael Rimmer: Yes, we have.

Priest: We've tried everything, you know... cutthroat bingo, hallucinogens in the wafers, neon lights for the graveyards, chapels on wheels, fifty-fifty drawings after communion...

Michael Rimmer: Really?

Priest: [grabbing hold of his vestments] And these clothes are a bit out-of-date for the 1960s.

Michael Rimmer: Yes, well, we've done a great deal of research on the results of our religious polls and I believe we have discovered the true root of the problem.

Priest: What would that be?

Michael Rimmer: God.

Priest: I had a nasty suspicion it was that.

Michael Rimmer: It's just that people have a hard time believing in Him. So, get rid of the God and you'll do just fine.

Priest: Interesting. Sort of an "Our Father who *might be* in heaven"...

Michael Rimmer: Yes, very good.

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Michael Rimmer: [after seeing Fromage faint] What's the matter with Fromage?

Pumer: Oh, these recent sex surveys have him worn out.

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Priest: [on a television interview] I have nothing against Buddhism, per se. It is possible for people to approach God in a great many ways... but there is no need to be silly about it!

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Steven Hench: Mr Blocket, you had been on rather acrimonious terms with the late Prime Minister

Blocket: We had our differences

Steven Hench: On one occasion, indeed on several occasions, you described him as a two-faced weasel-eyed git.

Blocket: In the rough and tumble of parliamentary debate things are said that can often be misinterpreted but there was a lot of warmth there.

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Ranjit X: Don't let's go into bourgeois things like money! Talk to my agent!

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Old woman at party conference: [heckling] What about the Old Age Pension?

Tom Hutchinson: Don't talk to me about "unemployment", young man! I was unemployed before you were born!

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Steven Hench: [In radio studio] How do you feel about the violent heckling which punctuated your speech?

Tom Hutchinson: I am not saying that the Labour Party was *responsible* for this disgraceful episode. But I will say this - it did seem to be *organised*.

[Looks at Michael Rimmer through studio glass]

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Blocket: My spies tell me, not literally of course...

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Patricia Cartwright: I've got the Olympic Heats tomorrow.

Michael Rimmer: I've got the Olympic Heats tonight.

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Ferret: [to Mrs Ferret] Care for a glass of Fors?

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Sir Eric Bentley: [to gentlemen of the press] Are we mad? ARE WE MAD? Are we mad? ARE WE Mad?

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Willing: [At identity parade] I couldn't swear to it, but it might just possibly be the one in the green shirt.

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Patricia Cartwright: That's about the only time we've been together. When there's a photographer around.

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Tom Hutchinson: I'd just like to say that my talks with the President were wide-ranging, full, and exhaustive.

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Michael Rimmer: Don't worry Tom, we'll supply the tears.

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Tom Hutchinson: Good God! The Continental Pig!

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Ferret: They'll be cutting off the electricity next!

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Michael Rimmer: Peter, I was just jotting down a few reasons why you might want to leave IOP and come over to us at the Fairburn Organisation.

[hands over cheque]

Peter Niss: Oh yes, I see, that's very well put. Yes, I particularly like the noughts.

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Fromage: Good God! Is that our "Olde Humbug"?

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Steven Hench: [addressing man in studio audience] You sir! What do you think about publicising people's personal sexual habits?

[Man hides his face in hands]

Steven Hench: You seem to disapprove. I wonder if your wife agrees.

[Looks at woman next to him]

Woman in studio audience: I'm not his wife, go away please!

Steven Hench: [to audience] Anyone else from Doncaster?

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Mandeville: It's a pleasure!

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Steven Hench: I'd better go and look after Percy, he gets a bit broody.

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Bishop of Cowley: I do think Doubt is a terribly important part of Belief. You mean if we were to phase out the God-side of our worship, we'd get better attendances?

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Bishop of Cowley: A sort of "Our Father, which *might be* in Heaven"...

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Weapons Demo film announcer: So for those who think the British Lion has lost its teeth, let them be warned that it can still give them a pretty nasty suck.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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