8 November 1970
Within minutes of opening their own business, the Goodies are hired by the commander of the beef eaters to investigate the bizarre theft of all the Tower of London's beef. Soon realizing that the perpetrator is weakening the beef eaters so they can steal the crown jewels, the Goodies volunteer to protect the treasures and soon find themselves embroiled in a conspiracy that goes higher than they could have ever imagined.
Season 1, Episode 2: Snooze15 November 1970
An executive from a pharmaceuticals company hires the Goodies to promote an over-the-counter sedative called "Venom". The Goodies quickly succeed in their task by changing the name to "Snooze", but Graeme, thorough as ever, decides that the product can be improved by making it far more potent. Chaos ensues when Bill, a chronic sleepwalker, is chosen to be the Guinea pig for Graeme's new "Snooze" formula.
22 November 1970
While enjoying some rare leisure time, the Goodies suddenly get their front door broken down by a rough police superintendent who wishes to hire the Goodies to improve the force's unpopular image. A quick fact-finding mission reveals exactly why the police have a (very apt) bad reputation. But with the right incentive (namely, getting clubbed on the head by the superintendent), the Goodies brainstorm a few ideas that make the police beloved by all. However, this only earns the Goodies a place on Britain's most wanted list, as the superintendent suddenly decides that the Goodies are making the police seem too nice...
29 November 1970
The Goodies are employed by a female government minister after she was caught and photographed having an indiscretion with a waiter at the Playgirl club. A female version of the famous Playboy clubs. Tim decides to go in under cover, but after the boys have not heard from him for two weeks they decide to mount a daring rescue mission
6 December 1970
The Goodies arrive at the village of Penrudden Cove to enjoy a relaxing holiday only to discover the town strangely deserted with the exception of the local vicar. They quickly deduct a local military base is the reason for the problems the town has suffered. Always the heroes the Goodies attempt to infiltrate the base and discover whatever dark secret the army has hidden.
Season 1, Episode 6: Cecily13 December 1970
The Goodies are hired to babysit a little girl.
20 December 1970
The Goodies, after being rejected from having their own legal radio station because their submission was too late, decide to start their own pirate radio station outside the five mile limit. They then start a pirate post office using various methods of delivering mail. The power unfortunately goes to Graeme's head and he becomes a megalomaniac, trying to tow the whole of Britain outside the five mile limit to create a "pirate state". Thankfully, he sinks his submarine by accident and is forced to give the whole thing up.
1 October 1971
The boys go to Scotland to catch the Loch Ness Monster.
8 October 1971
Season 2, Episode 3: Pollution15 October 1971
The Goodies become increasingly frustrated at the levels of pollution in London. They set off in search of answers. What they find shocks them to the core, but is the cure worse than the symptoms?
22 October 1971
A beautiful young woman asks the Goodies to search for her long-lost father. Eager to escape the cold London winter and their poorly heated office, the Goodies accept the job, expecting their travels to lead them through the hot jungles of south America.
29 October 1971
All the musicians in the world have been kidnapped. The Goodies set out to discover who is behind this but end up prisoners themselves and must find a way out before he locks them in a cell with their worst enemy.
5 November 1971
The Goodies attend Sotheby's spring art auction, and become disgruntled by the apparent loss of English culture and art to cashed up Americans. Tim makes a stand and purchases a Velazquez self portrait for an outrageous amount then tries to donate to the National gallery. The Minister is shocked; no one ever goes to the National gallery anymore, especially the English. The Goodies then launch a scheme to steal the other paintings from the gallery then claim the insurance money as a way to pay for the Velazquez painting. The scheme backfires when the Minister decides to close the gallery down altogether. They only have one painting, the Velazquez which is far too valuable to exhibit. News comes through announcing the Galley will reopen, but needs paintings. Graeme realizes the problem is the National Gallery needs to become more interesting. He sets about using the paintings as centerpieces for side show stalls. The scheme works so well the Minister dismisses the boys, leaving them penniless and still owing money on the original painting. In the end Tim fives up and offers to auction everything to cashed up Americans, effectively leaving everything exactly where it was before the Goodies got involved
12 November 1971
The boys' latest venture, a veterinary clinic takes in a 23-year year old kitten named Twinkle. Who grows into a giant and attacks the city after being fed a growth serum.
19 November 1971
The Goodies watch a ballroom dancing championship, when a number of competitors collapse and are later found to have been involved a doping scandal. The phone rings, it is Penelope Fay. She explains there has been a rash of issues with the Fay dancing team, and the Capone dancing team is behind it. She is convinced you can't beat the syndicates. The Goodies agree till she offers to pay them. The boys are inept at dancing till Graeme supplies specially designed suits that will do the dancing for the boys. Moments before the dance competition, Delia Capone visits the boys and tries to bribe them. They refuse, and she warns they better get insurance. The suits work perfectly and the boys stay competitive in the competition. During a break Delia discovers the Goodies secret and sabotages their efforts. However the judges still declares them winners. During the celebrations Capone pays a visit and reveals Fay's true identity, Peaches Ferneto, famous ballroom shark who'd served 5 years for throwing a dance competition. Peaches admits to everything. The two agree to a dance off winner takes all. At dawn the two teams face off and the Goodies prevail.
10 December 1971
The Goodies return from their latest adventure to encounter Bill's latest craze health food. Disgusted they've had enough and go to a local restaurant, only to discover that none of their food is prepared by cooks by Nobel prize winning chemists. Desperate for a decent meal they got to visit Tim's uncle who is a farmer. Surprised they discover he's also gone high tech and the entire process is now automated. His uncle has taken things to such extremes that hens lay square eggs to make for easier shipping, and headless cows, because no one can eat the head. Graeme believes the food being produced lacks nutrition and invents a machine to prove his point. The tests confirm his theory, but Graeme realizes they need to close down the buyers. First he sabotages Uncle Tom's processes and the restaurant purchasing the food suffers a huge loss of clientèle. Mission accomplished they return to the farm and a free range chicken to eat for dinner. Tom comes in at the last minute, totally reformed and now a vegetarian and forbids the now starving Goodies from eating his animals
17 December 1971
Bill is appalled at the way Graeme and Tim discuss Graeme's new girlfriend. He calls the Women's Liberation army, and Barbara comes to Goodies HQ and threatens to rough the boys up. She then sends them to her father's home to work as domestics so they can get an insight into the life of a woman. After a few days of Tim (dressed as a woman) and Graeme working at the house, Barbara arrives to announce that Bill is her new boyfriend. Tim struggles to adapt back to being a man after the encounter, and is convinced he is a liberated woman. Graeme now totally confused over how to handle gender relationships takes his computer out on a date. Finally Tim is forced to leave HQ after Bill and Graeme announce a double wedding to their respective partners. At the Church Tim makes an impassioned speech that convinces everyone to call the weddings off. He unfortunately attracts the attention of Barbara's father who thinks he might make a good brood mare, and all three boys make good their escape on their bike
31 December 1971
Desiree Carthorse noted anti sex campaigner enlists the Goodies to produce a film about sex without mention sex. The boys put a sanitized piece together and show it to her. She objects to the use of the word gender in the opening sequence and threatens to sue the boys. She quickly convinces the world the Goodies are smut mongers and can't be trusted. They see a chance of redemption when a TV show featuring Reginald Wheelbarrow discusses the film. The Goodies kidnap the Member of Parliament and appear in his place, talking how tame the film is. The BBC realizes the ruse but then commission the boys to make more films. It is explained that the controversy around gender education is a way to keep people occupied with nonsense while the put the most violent shows they can think of. Graeme and Tim are disgusted by the idea, but Bill embraces the concept as a way to make lots of money. Eventually Desiree Tim and Graeme join forces to stop him by sabotaging the studios where Bill is making his productions. Bill goes crazy at the interference and tries to kill the other Goodies with a machine gun. He continues on in his rampage till he accidentally blows up the BBC destroying all TV broadcast in the British Isles
7 January 1972
The Goodies are trying to raise money for charity. After being rebuked by the CEO of Sparkly Pegs, they realize they need to come up with a scheme that will help their charity. The CEO agrees to sponsor them, but makes them wear a strange costume as well as use bouncing balls, unaware bouncing is the boy's favorite hobby. The initial sponsorship was from London to Brighton, however when they reach the sea, they don't stop and continue eventually around the world. Mr Sparklipegs faces financial ruin as the amount of sponsorship continues to climb. He sends one of his minions to try unsuccessfully to stop them. They arrive back in London and a shocked to discover their nominated charity is owned by Mr Sparkilipegs, effectively they have bounced around the world for free
14 January 1972
The boys are a shoe-in for their "Nicest Person of the Year" contest, that is until a mad scientist sets up a plot against them to win.
4 February 1973
The Goodies renovate their office. Tim is disturbed it's taken the builders have taken 6 months to install a couple of shelves. Things go wrong and their office is uninhabitable. They go to a local real estate to try and convince them to allow them to have a house. The options fail, so the boys decide to find a quiet corner of England and build a house for themselves. The house is completed and the boys move in. Soon their quiet paradise is built up with housing developments and trains. Frustrated they hitch their new house to the bike and set off for somewhere more remote. Outside they hear strange noises, investigating they discover the building surrounding by earth moving equipment that have a life of their own. After initially trying to fight the animated machines off, Bill decides music may make the difference. His hunch pays off and the boys head a conga line that eventually sends the machines over a cliff and to their destruction.
11 February 1973
Tim announces he is spending a week in the country with his great uncle Butcher Fitzsimmons, Graeme and Bill talk their way into accompanying him. Realizing Butcher is the quintessential country gentleman, Bill and Graeme dress to impress the old man, and then regale him with stories of their riding prowess. Butcher is so impressed he takes the boys on a practice hunt, the excitement proves too much and Tim's uncle dies. Tim becomes enamored with the country lifestyle and takes over the manor. Without jobs, the remaining Goodies sign on as domestic servants, and become more concerned at his erratic behavior. Tim suddenly announces he will also be marrying the next day. The two boys realize embarrassing Tim in the hunt may snap him out of his delusion. They cook up a plan to dress as a horse and substitute for his real one. After some miss adventures Tim abandons the horse for the bike and chases the boys now dressed as rabbits. They finally get Tim away from the hunt and begin an intervention using aversion therapy.
18 February 1973
25 February 1973
A clumsy sorceress asks the boys to let her practice her magic with them. They think the whole thing is a joke and go along, but discover their folly when she possesses Graeme, first with an evil spirit and then with the spirit of a gibbon.
4 March 1973
Graeme has been reading one too many explorer books and when he finds one about a lost island he's off, dragging Bill and Tim along as he tries to rediscover it for England before anyone else can.
11 March 1973
Season 4, Episode 1: Camelot1 December 1973
Tim's Uncle lives in a medieval castle, which land developers want to take from him. While he's on holiday, he asks his nephew to guard it. Tim gets Bill and Graeme to help, but it turns out a much harder task than they thought.
8 December 1973
Graeme starts a space program using lab rabbits, but the pair he sends to the moon are male and female. Predictably, their scientifically-enhanced offspring take over the moon, and set their sights on Earth.
15 December 1973
24 December 1973
The Goodies fall on hard times, and Tim and Graeme send Bill to sell their trusty three-seater trandem. All the local townspeople find it ridiculous and Bill is humiliated by only being offered a tin of baked beans. Tim and Graeme are disgusted with only getting baked beans, instead of money, but Graeme gets the idea to plant a bean. This rapidly grows into an enormous beanstalk - reaching all the way from England to the summit of Mt. Everest. In hot pursuit of their beanstalk, the Goodies enter an "It's a Knockout" competition, which is being held at the foot of Mt. Everest. Among other things, the Goodies have to climb the beanstalk to the top of the mountain, as part of the contest. There, they find the Giant's castle and, in it, a Giant of surprising height who has a valuable secret to protect.
29 December 1973
The goodies fall through a hole in their floor and find a T-Rex below.
5 January 1974
The Goodies help out a police officer by committing a crime so that he can arrest someone. The plan goes horribly wrong the officer arrests them, and the Goodies are thrown in jail.
Season 4, Episode 7: The Race12 January 1974
The boys enter a car race.
Season 5, Episode 1: Movies10 February 1975
The boys take over a movie studio.
17 February 1975
The boys help a US army officer get rid of a large canister labeled "Tomato Soup".
Season 5, Episode 3: Radio 224 February 1975
3 March 1975
10 April 1975
Tim, with Bill in a dog costume go up against Graeme's exotic new breeds in the Crufts dog show.
17 March 1975
24 March 1975
31 March 1975
The boys are in charge of a Lighthouse where Tim gets the mumps, they lose the light and they inadvertently project the lighthouse into space and crash land on Nelson's column.
7 April 1975
14 April 1975
21 April 1975
The boys visit South Africa.
28 April 1975
The Goodies are broke, so they go out prospecting and find a cream mine. But Graeme gets greedy and wants all the cream to himself, leading to a tomato ketchup stained showdown between the three of them at the O.K. Tearooms.
Season 5, Episode 13: The End5 May 1975
Sort of an Alternate Universe story, in which the boys and their office are trapped for over a century in a block of concrete and must find a way to live without outside contact for the rest of their lives.
21 September 1976
Cod have become so scarce that there is nothing to make fish fingers from. The boys manage to poach one and raise it to become a giant. But things get difficult when Graeme decides it's his "baby" and he doesn't want to eat it.
28 September 1976
5 October 1976
The boys set up a bogus Tour company to make money, but their scheme is jeopardized when a Detective's Club demands a tour. Things get worse when three crooks disguise themselves as the Goodies and kidnap them and the detectives.
12 October 1976
19 October 1976
26 October 1976
In the future, The Goodies' sons attempt to revive the long-lost sport of cricket.
2 November 1976
An fake live show filled with songs and silly costumes.
1 November 1977
Tim, Graeme, and Bill study their ancestry and come up with theories as to how their families first met.
Season 7, Episode 2: Dodonuts8 November 1977
Bill protects a dodo bird.
22 November 1977
The whole Boy Scout program has been outlawed. Tim and several loyal members still meet in secret, hoping to eventually change this. However, Bill and Graeme upend everything when they use scout disguises to go on a crime spree.
29 November 1977
The punk phenomenon grips Britain as grannies reject niceness and the Goodies take to the road in search of the latest fad.
6 December 1977
22 December 1977
On Christmas eve, the world leaders have come together and decided to end the world. With only 28 minutes left till the big bang at midnight, the Goodies wonder how best to spend their last minutes of life.
Season 8, Episode 1: Politics14 January 1980
21 January 1980
Dancing has become little more than a form of exercise, with no contact, partners, or anything remotely romantic allowed. Tim misses the days before this was so, and is on a mission to bring them back.
28 November 1980
4 February 1980
Season 8, Episode 5: Animals11 February 1980
Season 8, Episode 6: War Babies18 February 1980
Season 9, Episode 1: Robot9 January 1982
Graeme makes a robot, and to keep him, they must save money by firing one Goody.
16 January 1982
Season 9, Episode 3: Big Foot23 January 1982
The Goodies go in search of Arthur C. Clarke, who has gone missing, but get more than they bargained for when they find that Bigfoot is on their tail.
30 January 1982
Season 9, Episode 5: Holidays6 February 1982
13 February 1982
24 September 1972
The Goodies try to make money by making claims on a Tax Evasion Form.
21 December 1975
When the government bans joy and entertainment, the Goodies seek to rectify things in a most unusual manner. Their final solution to the problem, however, leads to a truly catastrophic result.
9 April 1972
27 December 1981
Have you ever wondered what happened after the Happily Ever After? Well, The Goodies have too, and bring you Snow White 2.
7 July 1973
Bill becomes obsessed with becoming a superstar, using the name, Randy Pandy. Tim and Graeme try to save him from the consequences of his fame.
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