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The Nine Ages of Nakedness (1969)

| Comedy | June 1969 (UK)


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Cast overview, first billed only:
Narrator (voice)
Bruno Elrington ...
The Leader (segment "The Stone Age")
June Palmer ...
The Girlfriend (segment "The Stone Age")
Maj-Britt Mannson ...
The Secretary (segment "The Stone Age")
Julian Orchard ...
The Pharaoh (segment "The Egyptians")
Carol Hamilton ...
Queen Nefertiti (segment "The Egyptians") / Zero 2 (segment "The Future")
Max Bacon ...
Yossel (segment "The Egyptians")
Patricia Kluge ...
The Dancer (segment "The Egyptians") (as Patricia Rose)
Suzan Long ...
Lotus (segment "The Chinese")
S'Zeto ...
The Gardener (segment "The Chinese")
Dawn Grayson ...
Her Ladyship (segment "The Cavaliers")
Maya Zell ...
The Baroness (segment "The Cavaliers") / Zero 1 (segment "The Future")
David London ...
Jossop (segment "The Cavaliers") / The Psycho-analyst's Voice
Sue Bond ...
Serving Girl (segment "The Cavaliers")
Howard Nelson ...
Sir Rupert (segment "The Cavaliers")


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Release Date:

June 1969 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Das Sexualleben des Neandertalers und seine grausamen Folgen  »

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Did You Know?


The film was originally entitled "The Seven Ages of Nakedness", in a nod to William Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man". However, director George Harrison Marks realized he didn't have enough footage to make the movie run for the requisite 90 minutes, so he swiftly wrote two extra sequences. See more »


During the 17th Century sequence, Howard Nelson's wig comes adrift. See more »


Features UFO (1970) See more »

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User Reviews

One of the most rubbishy British sexploitation films ever made
2 July 2016 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

I'm not surprised that THE NINE AGES OF NAKEDNESS has garnered no reviews on this site so far because it really is a rubbishy little film. It's far worse than the dated but mildly diverting nudie flicks that George Harrison Marks was making at the beginning of the decade like NAKED AS NATURE INTENDED; essentially it's a series of vignettes about the sexual relations between men and women through the ages, with little more than that.

The problem with this film? Everything! The production values are poor, the costumes and sets look cheap, and there's no discernible script. I had no idea if I was supposed to be watching a comedy because I didn't laugh once. Noticeably bad are the male performers, whose outrageous mugging really is awful - one of the worst is Marks himself, appearing throughout the production in ill-conceived cameos. What inspired Charles Gray to provide the occasional narration for this is anyone's guess, but all I can say is that it must have had lots of 0s on the end.

While it's fair to say that THE NINE AGES OF NAKEDNESS does contain a number of young actresses who willingly strip for the screen, this titillation does in no way, shape, or form amount to what could possibly be described as entertainment - which is why this film is rightly forgotten even by fans of the era's sexploitation.

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